


You Are My Angel (Destiel Highschool!AU)

by gmbygrl, OhSweetCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom!Cas, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Gay Love, Gay Sex, M/M, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, top!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:17:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 65,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gmbygrl/pseuds/gmbygrl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhSweetCas/pseuds/OhSweetCas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a 17 year-old teenager who lives in Lawrence since mid-2013's, after his younger brother asks his dad to settle down. In that time he became the football team captain and started dating Tessa. His life is a little different from the other teenagers. Taking care of his family, study and having to work is something he has to deal with everyday. But he's used to it. He learn to live like that, to hide what he really wants.</p>
<p>Castiel is a 16 year-old teenager who just moved town after suffering from bullying at his previous school, so this is a start over to the youngest of the Novaks. He is still healing from those scars, still learn how to live after that mess, still understanding who he is, and what that means to the people inside his family. </p>
<p>What begins with a random encounter at a party, when Dean saves the new kid from the hands of his football teammates soon turns into something much bigger, where they have to understand what they feel for one another. They have to fight their fears, their past, their families and decide what they really want to be. <br/>The question is, are they ready for that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One - Party? Not A Good Idea.

~ _3rd October 2014_ ~

 

[Dean]

 

"Don't let him get to the End Zone!" The voice of the coach filled the field. "Milton, if that Winchester passes through you, I'll put you running 'til you no longer feel your legs, kid!"

Everyone on the field was running after the ball or trying to get clean shot to throw it to Dean.

"Yeah!" The team that had just scored screamed pleased with the moment.

Another touchdown scored by Dean Winchester, the captain of the school football team. His dark blonde hair and his green eyes, plus the fitted body had put him as one of the most attractive boys of that school. Although, he didn't care about that. All he wanted was to go to his football practices and after that to go home to take care of his little brother.

After a few more strategies played, the coach ended the practice to release the field for the "ladies" soccer practice. Dean rolled his eyes annoyed, since his brother was one of those ladies. The team headed to the locker room joking around all the way there.

"So, Winchester." Norman called him while stripping of his clothes. "Tonight's a party. At Lil's. You're coming?"

"Nah. I got better things to do." The Winchester answered and rolled a towel around his hips before going to take a shower.

"There's a new kid... I really don't remember his name, whatever, and I thought we could go and pock him a little." Alastair joined the conversation.

Dean rolled his eyes, sighing. He sure was 'popular' and popular kids always liked to make fun of the new students but he was not into that kind of stuff.

"He only likes to pock at girls, if you know what I mean." Adam said giggling while shoving his things into his bag.

"Watch your mouth, freshman!" Dean shouted. "I have a girlfriend now. And besides, Lilith's a bitch and I really don't want to see her ugly face."

The others finished packing their things and, after messing with some of Dean's clothes, hiding them inside coach's office, left him on his own.

Dean got out of the shower only not to see his belongings. He sighed starting to look after them. 'In coach's office, how original' he thought while returning to his spot to get dressed.

 

[Castiel]

 

Castiel sat on the bottom of his bed at his new bedroom after arriving home from school. A pile of boxes was still waiting for him to open them and to get his bedroom as he wanted it to be. His first day at school was okay. No one really spoke to him a lot and it didn't affect him.

He moved to that town after a stressful situation that happened with him in his last school, at Illinois, so he wasn't that excited to get new friends. He couldn't risk that to happen again.

"Cas, buddy" Gabriel greeted opening the door without knocking. "I got a deal to propose you!" He made a smile, looking at his younger brother.

"Shoot."

"Me. You. Some chick's party. Tonight."

"You're here for one day,  _one day,_  and you already know about a party?"

"Some girls told me during English class and asked me if I wanted to go."

Gabriel was 2 years older than Castiel but he was still trying to finish High school. Cas knew Gabriel really wanted to move on but he always had something holding him back: the car accident that put him into a coma for 7 months or maybe the fact that he didn't care much about his grades.

He kept there, staring at his brother, eyes wide open. Castiel didn't want to go to some stupid party but it was his brother asking and he knew their parents wouldn't allow one to go without the other.

"Yeah. Whatever. Just promise me we'll be back home not too late."

Gabriel smiled at his brother and left the room, leaving the door open, disturbing Castiel a little bit because of the normal noise inside their house.

His family was enormous. It was he, his parents, his three brothers - Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel - and his one sister - Anna. But just because it was a pretty big family it didn't mean they were pacific at each other. Castiel's father was rarely at home, working God-Knows-Where; his mother, well, she was the conservative and religious type of woman. From his brothers he only had an okay relationship with Gabriel and Anna, only seeing Michael when he was back home from the army, and trying to avoid Lucifer as much as possible.

It was time for him to try to put some order in his room before taking a shower to go to a party.

 

[Dean]

 

Dean was sitting on the couch watching some random TV show when Sam arrived home from school.

Usually Dean stays at school waiting for his brother but today Sam had a ride from a friend so Dean was free to return home alone. Sam joined him.

"What are you watching?"

"Some crappy Japanese game show." Right after he said it the two brothers heard some man's groan while grabbing his crotch with both hands. "Like I said:  _crappy._ " He repeated noticing Sam awkwardly looking at him for the kind of show Dean was watching.

"Whatever... I'm going out tonight. I mean if it's okay for you." Sam said glancing at his brother hoping for a positive response.

"Did you ask dad?"

"I kinda hoped that  _you_  could do that part, you know? If I'm the one asking he'll say no before I finish the sentence.  _Please_ , I really want to be with Jess."

"I'll see what I can do."

Dean's family was right the opposite from Cas'. It was only the three of them: Sam, Dean and John - their father. Dean was the loyal to the family, putting their needs in front of his. His dad could be a total jackass but Dean would do anything he'd ask. It was how things worked with them: 'Always protect your blood. No matter what.' Or 'Watch out for Sammy.' Like John kept remembering Dean since he was 4.

The boys were still watching tv when John entered home, arriving from his work. Sam instantly looked at Dean, encouraging him to speak. Dean got the message.

"Hey Dad, I was thinking..." John turned his head towards his older son. "I want to take Sam to a party." He finally said, winking at Sam, which was a sign for him to stay cool and play along.

"What did you just say, boy?"

"You know... A party. He's only thirteen, I know, but he's at the soccer team so I thought it would be nice for him to meet some guys from my team and... and... have some fun. I'll watch over him, like always."

"Do you wanna go, Sam?" John asked while going to the fridge to grab a cold beer.

"It would be nice." He answered calmly trying not to look too excited. He knew how his father felt about his little boy dating some chick he didn't even know.

They both went to their shared room and soon started to prepare themselves to go out.

"So, what will you do after you leave me at Jess'?"

"I won't be able to come back home so I guess I'll go to a party. I'll pick you up at 1 am. Get ready."

When Dean arrived, after dropping Sam with his girlfriend, the house was already full of drunk students and couples making out at every available corner.

He was heading inside when a pair of arms hugged him from behind.

"Dean-o! You came!" A loud voice said next to his ear. He turned around.

"Hey, babe." He softly kissed the girl and then caressed her face with his palm. She grinned, closing her eyes with a lovely smile growing on her face. "Let's get us a drink."

The couple entered the big house and the loud music quickly resounded inside their heads. Dean didn't like that type of music but instead of complaining about how Nicki Minaj's songs were stupid he just tried to ignore them.

He glanced over Tessa. He was a pretty lucky guy to be dating a girl like her. She was smart, concerning and mature. Her paled skin contrasting with her dark hair and brown eyes gave her a simple beauty.

They started dating 7 months later they moved into town, 1 year before. Before and during that time Dean made a reputation inside the community as a strong boy who's able to defend himself. Being at the school football team provided him a respectful spot among the students and even though there were some rumors about Dean being a womanizer, Tessa kept with him, not caring about the gossip.

Dean got a soda to his girlfriend and a beer to himself; he could at least try to have some fun.

 

[Castiel]

 

"Move, ya idiot!" Gabriel shouted trying to find a spot to park his old red truck. "These fucking kids thinking the road is all theirs..."

Castiel didn't reply. He just frowned and glanced over the car window watching some teenagers running across the street slightly drunk. That was the reason he hated parties: the drunken idiots doing stupid things just for 'fun'.

After that Gabriel quickly found a good place and he parked there, getting out of the truck excited. He knocked at the window at Cas' seat and invited him to 'get his ass out of that old trash.'

"Gabe!" one girl yelled walking in their direction. Along with her one more girl approached them. "I can see you brought some company." She commented smiling at the stranger next to him.

"Rachel, Hannah" he greeted them opening his arm to hug them. It was amazing how fast Gabriel was able to have new  _friends._

After a tight hug, Gabriel made a step back and pointed at Castiel, "This is Cas, my brother."

Cas simply nodded at the two smiling girls. One blonde the other brown, but both gorgeous, just Gabriel's type.

The group entered the house laughing at one of Gabriel's silly jokes and they soon started drinking. All of them except for Cas, who wasn't a big fan of alcohol. Instead he just stood next to his brother, gazing through the party.

 

[Dean]

 

"Come here." Dean groaned, closing the door of the bedroom and kissing Tessa. The few-ish number of beers he drank in a record time helped him becoming more  _excited_  and sweating testosterone. She passed her hands through his hair, grinning. It wasn't the first time they'd have sex, but it sure was the first time during a party.

He pulled her up, she tangling her legs around his waist and still feeling each other lips.

He tossed her onto the bed, falling upon her. She softly laughed feeling his weight "smashing" her body.

"We are so crazy." she said switching positions with him.

"Let's be crazier." he replied starting to undress her black top.

He caressed her body with his hands, feeling the warmth. It was good to have her, to  _feel_  her. He needed that, to be distracted so his inner thoughts would've been kept away. It was all about that: appearances.

They kissed again and he sap up, holding her on his lap. 'S _o good_ ' he kept saying to himself.

It was, until they heard a door opening and a long gasp.

"What the heck? In my bed?" Lilith screamed, entering her room facing the couple. "Get out!"

They got up and started walking towards the door while Tessa was putting her top on.

"It's always so nice to see you, Lil." Dean sarcastically said, smirking.

"Screw you, Winchester."

The boy shut the door, laughing.

"Well, that didn't go as expected."

"Shut up. I'm so embarrassed."

He hugged her around her waist, giving her a small kiss.

"C' mon, let's socialize a little."

 

[Castiel]

 

"So you're 16?" Rachel asked sitting between the two Novaks. "That's cool. Maybe we're on the same class, somewhere."

He simply smiled and kept in silence, not looking at the blonde girl. He wasn't very good with girls. Hannah, the brown-haired one, was texting someone, not paying attention to their conversation.

From the couch where they were sitting, they could see a group of guys getting drunk at the kitchen. At some point one of them saw the four teens on the couch and said something into a friend's ear. They approached them.

" 'Night, ladies!" He yelled to the girls. "Fellas... You seem new. I'm Alastair, the football team co-captain. These are Joshua, Norman, Zachariah and the little one: Liam. Who're you?"

"I'm Gabriel, this is Cas."

"It's Castiel... Not Cas." the younger muttered.

' _Castiel, that's it.'_  The co-captain thought to himself, recognizing the name. He was the kid he had previously talked about after the practice.

"Well, welcome to Lawrence. I hope you guys have a hell of a good time here." The smile at his face was somehow scaring Castiel a little. "See you later."

With all the flirtation between Gabriel and Hannah, they soon left Castiel alone with Rachel. He watched the group of guys who had just spoke to them returning to the kitchen and one another guy joining them with a girl.

Without saying a word, Cas got up and went to the porch outside to get some fresh air. All the noise and people were too confining. He needed to be alone and feel the cold wind against his pale skin.

He was with his eyes closed when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

"Hey, Cas, why don't we grab you a drink?" The same guy from before, Alastair, started.

"Hmm-no, I'm fine, thank you." The rest of the group joined Alastair.

"I insist. Here, drink this." He passed him a beer and then tucked his arm around Cas' shoulders. The difference of heights was huge.

Castiel grabbed the bottle and took a quick gulp.

"There you go... Are you enjoying Lawrence so far?"

"It's... Okay." he paused. "Look, I really want to be alone. Taking a break of the party, so..." he removed the taller guy's arm off of him to leave the place.

"Hold on, smurf." Alastair said following him. "We're just trying to be nice with ya..."

"Yeah, trying to be nice schoolmates... " an even taller guy, Zachariah, added.

"Maybe the little punk thinks he's too good for us." Norman smirked stepping closer to the blue-eyed teen. "Why don't we teach him a lesson?"

The others laughed and nodded in agreement.

"What? I just --" Before Castiel could finish, a fist hit him in the face making him shout a moan. He tried to turn around and run but he was surrounded by Alastair's minions, the one who wanted to kick him anyway: four against one.

The people distracted with the party only noticed the fight scene when the sound of punches got to their ears; a circle of people formed to see the new kid getting his ass kicked by the football team players.

Castiel was not the kind of guy who enjoys fighting, so his body wasn't prepared to stand up against  _one_  of those big walls, much less four. A pair of hands pushed him against the ground and Castiel could feel feet hitting his back, legs, belly. He just tried to protect his vital parts from major injuries and tried not to cry.

He couldn't think, the situation was too hurtful to let his brain process anything. His muscles aching, his nose bleeding, the bruises starting to form in his skin. He held his breath, he needed it to be over.

Full minutes of spanking and name-calling Cas continued and no one step over to bring an end to that merciless scene.

Not until a strange voice shouted in the middle of the crowd.

"Alright, that's enough, guys. Knock it off. The kid is almost passing out." Castiel opened his eyes to see a dirt blond guy opening his passage through the crowd. It was the same guy he saw at the kitchen hugging a girl. "You had your fun."

"C'mon Winchester... Don't be like that... It's just a prank. Don't be a downer!" Norman replied with his arms opened in the air.

"Yeah, I got that prank too, last year. It's not a nice one..."

"And look at you now! You're standing still and you're the captain of our team." Alastair was smiling at Dean.

"Piss off!" Another voice shouted opening his way to Castiel. It was Gabriel... A shirtless Gabriel. "You fucking morons! Who the fuck you think you are?" His voice was full of anger. He grabbed Castiel by his arms, helping him to get up. Castiel sobbed, not baring the physical and psychological pain he was in. "If you ever,  _ever,_ touch my brother again, I swear to God, I'll kill ya'. Fucking bastards!" He glanced over his shaky brother, barely standing up. It was time for them to leave. "Move!" He yelled at a bunch of people who were standing on their way to his car.

Castiel sat on the passenger seat, trying not to move so he wouldn't feel more pain that he was already feeling. Gabriel was outside the car, phone on his ear, calling the police to end the party. A boy approached him.

"How is he?" The boy asked stopping a few inches from Gabriel.

"Fuck you, kid." Gabriel responded, looking at the guy with the football team jacket dressed. The boy arched his eyebrows, offended.

"Jackass." And then he turned around, leaving the angry brother alone.

After calling the police, Gabe got into the truck. It was time to go home.


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment telling what you're thinking about the story and vote - or whatever it is called.
> 
> If you're enjoying this fic, read my other one - Mark of Dean (it's about Deanmon and an alternative season 10). I'll try to update it soon :)
> 
> That's it. Good reading :)
> 
> Warning: possible spoilers for those who hadn't watch Sherlock season 3 finale.

~ _4th October 2014_ ~

 

[Dean]

 

It was 6:30 am when his clock's alarm went off. Listening his favorite band was the best way to get his day started. Besides being Saturday Dean needed to get up early to go to work at Bobby's garage. All the money they could get was welcome.

After a quick shower, he got dressed and left the house without breakfast, leaving his brother sleeping. John was not home... Again.

When Dean arrived Bobby's the place was already open. ' _Shit, I'm late again. God damn it.'_

He silently entered the garage and instantly started working on one of the cars assigned to him, hoping Bobby wouldn't notice his delay.

"Boy, you're always the same. Always late... "

"Sorry Bobby, my father wasn't home and he took the car with him so I had to come on foot and it still is a long walk."

"I know, kiddo. I guess I'll have to find you a car, then." He took his cap off, cleaning his forehead with the back of his hand and then replacing the cap. "Now get to work. A friend of mine, Rufus, will pass by at 11 for us to check the engine of his old piece of metal. So you have three and a half hours to get that job done. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

 

[Castiel]

 

"What happened to you, sweetie?" Anna asked shocked, entering Cas' bedroom and seeing the bad shape he was.

"Nothing. I'm--I'm okay." His voice failed because of the pain of him getting up to a sitting position. "Please don't tell our mom..."

"Are you kidding me?!  _Nothing?!_ You look like you were hit by a train. Oh God... Cassie... " her hand touched his noise. "It seems to be broken. Does it hurt?"

He painfully smiled, "Everything hurts, sis. Just--let me get some rest... And take some painkillers and I'll be good as new in a heartbeat."

It wasn't true and both knew but none of them argued back. They simply nodded at each other and shared a sad smile. Anna, instead of leaving the room, lied down next to her brother. She wanted him to know he wasn't alone.

All the sudden Lucifer entered the room, eyes fixed on his brother.

"Holy... " He stopped and a few seconds later he burst out of laugh." Oh Cas, you look worse than usual. What hit you this time? A 7th grade chick?"

"Go away, Lucy. Leave him be." Anna defended her brother hugging him. Castiel let go a small gasp of pain.

It was priceless to Lucifer to watch.

"Let me guess,  _Cassie_... " His last word jokingly said. "Did they find out about your little secret?"

"Lucifer!" Anna yelped.

"Did they find out you're a freak?" He gave a few steps forwards. "Tell me, you little shit, will we need to move again?" His eyes were filled with hate. "Did y--?"

"Lucifer, that's enough!" Anna jumped out of the bed, running towards her blond brother, putting him out of Castiel's bedroom. "That's enough!" they were now in the hallway.

"That piece of shit ruined our lives, little sis. I won't let that happen again... "

" He didn't ruin our lives. Right the opposite, it was people like you that ruined his. Now go find a life and leave him alone." He muttered something inaudible to the red-haired girl and walked to his room. "Oh and do us all a favor, Lucifer. Don't tell our parents. I know how you love to be their favorite but we already have enough problems to handle with. Hold your egocentrism for a while, capiche?"

 

[Dean]

 

Being a mechanic was Dean's dream job. He always loved cars and getting the chance to be surrounded by them was great.

Bobby gave him the rest of the afternoon off and he ran home to spend some quality time with his brother. Little did he know his afternoon would be anything but nice.

As soon as he opened the door he saw his dad passed out on the couch, beer on his hand, the living room smelling like a liquor store full of open bottles.

"Dad?" He shook him a little to awake him. The door to the bedroom slightly opened.

"Dean?"

"Uh?"

"If I were you I wouldn't do that... " his voice was shaky. Dean got worried. "Just come here."

"Sammy, what's wr--" Dean's eyes fixed on the dark stain around Sam's left eye. "What the...? Did he do this to you?" He almost screamed pointing to the sleeping man on the couch.

"Just listen to me... " He pulled his brother inside the room. Shutting the door. "He found them..."

"He found what?" Dean was confused.

"The magazines... I tried to cover you up but he got out of control and hit me. Dean, he'll kill you. I never saw his so pissed."

"Let him come! He hit you, that  _sonofabitch._ Who the hell he thinks he is?"

They heard steps and then the door kicked open. John's heavy eyes fixed on Dean's. His facial expression tense.

Suddenly he grabbed Dean by his arm and pulled him out of the bedroom to the living room.

"You wanna explain this?" he pointed to the porn magazines, now on the coffee table.

"They're porn magazines, sir." Dean tried to stay calm.

"They're  _GAY_ porn magazines, you mean!" the sickness in John's voice froze Dean's blood.

"I wouldn't say Gay, but--" a solid sound crossed the room and Dean tasted some of his blood.

"You...! My son... Interested in... Dicks!" he punched Dean once more. Dean did nothing, he knew that fighting back would only make it worse for him. "Not in my house. I won't allow that. You're my son. My sons ain't faggots!"

"Just because I have those magazines it doesn't mean I'm gay... I have a girlfriend, I like girls... I was just curious... " he said, trying to calm his dad down.

It wasn't completely true. It wasn't completely a lie. A mid-term was good. At least it was what he thought.

" You were just curious?! Let me get this straight. If I ever find these magazines again, or if you ever think about fucking a guy, I'll put a bullet in your head. I'd rather have a dead son than a gay one."

Sam was too scared to watch the scene. He just stood at his bedroom, sitting on a armchair, looking at his shoes, counting the minutes down 'til his brother returns to the room. It didn't take long but Dean was bleeding from his mouth. Sam tried to help him.

"I'm fine, Sammy. Everything's fine. Don't worry, little giant. Go do your homework."

"Dean... "

"Do as I say!"

 

[Castiel]

 

" Where's your brother? " Mrs. Novak asked noticing the empty chair where Castiel should be sitting. "He knows I don't like this. The meal time is something very serious to this family."

"He's not feeling very well, mother. Something he ate at Lunch." Anna invented not giving the others a chance to talk.

"Yeah, don't you worry, mom. The kid's fine. He just needs some rest. I'll take him something to eat, later."

Lucifer rolled his eyes and Anna toed his foot under the table. He sighed and remained in silence.

Cas was not okay. His body was aching and full of bruises. He didn't even had taken a shower since the night before so some parts of his body were dirt with some blood. But worse than that was how broken he was in the inside. That feeling of humiliation, weakness, pain. He didn't deserve that. Or maybe he did... He didn't know what to believe anymore. Maybe he really was a freak, maybe he was sick, maybe he deserved to be treated like shit. He made his family move town, everyone hated him and he hated himself.

All he wanted was to be normal.

The weekend slowly passed and Castiel woke up still with some aching parts but he was okay to go to school. Even if he didn't want to go he'd have to, not to drive to much attention from his parents, who didn't bother to see him the whole weekend. When he arrived school with his brother, Gabriel, everyone knew about the scene at Lil's party and some joked as he walked across the halls. Gabriel stood on his side, giving him moral support and eyeing some teens that were going too far.

No one would touch his brother again.

Castiel headed to Math and Gabriel to Geography.

"Okay, students, we have a new student, Castiel Nov--" His mouth stopped talking when he saw Cas's damaged face. He coughed, "Novak... Anyway and moving forward, let's open..." he blabbed along, informing about the exercises the students needed to do during that class.

Castiel sat next to a window. He always enjoyed watching the landscape during classes. It was a good way to pass time without disturbing the rest of the class, but this time the landscape outside wasn't helping; the time was too slow and he was tired. Really tired.

He looked around and noticed a pair of green eyes staring at him. It was the same guy who stopped the fight scene. When realizing he was caught he looked back at his book and started doing some exercise. Castiel wanted to thank him but he didn't. He just grabbed his pencil, opened his book and read the first exercise of the page.

 

[Dean]

 

His first class went slowly but okay. He wanted to ask Castiel how he was, but when Castiel caught him looking at him, he lost the courage. He was embarrassed. His teammates were the ones who did that to him. So he somehow felt guilty about what happened.

The bell rang and the students left the class.

He decided to ask him anyway.

"Novak!" He yelled in the hall calling the new student. He turned around. "Hold on."

He ran to the boy waiting in the middle of the hallway, students passing by loudly speaking.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his brows frowned.

"I'm okay, thank you. And thank you for--"

"Is this guy botherin' ya?" Gabriel interrupted.

"No. He's just asking how I am."

"Yeah, relax dude." It was the second time in a row that Gabriel was being rude to him. "I'm just worried with your brother..."

Gabriel looked at Dean not sure if he should trust him. A girl approached them.

"Dean-o!" she moaned, kissing him on his cheek and then she noticed a cut on his lips. "Are you okay, baby?"

"I'm awesome... " he kissed her back. Cas' blue eyes fixed on his. "Well, I gotta go, fellas. I'm glad you're okay."

The couple walked away from the brothers, heading to the cafeteria. Alastair was waiting for the rest of his group at one table and Tessa's friends at another one. Instead of walking in different directions Dean decided to continue with his girl.

"Look at him!" Jo said inviting the two to sit down. "Finally we get the chance to sit with our captain. What a pleasure..."

"Uh shut your pie hole, cuz" Dean answered sitting next to his girlfriend.

They weren't really cousins but he treated Bobby by uncle and she was his daughter and they were like a family already.

Two guys passed by. It was Cas and his brother. They sat on a table, alone.

"I feel sorry for him." Jo continued. "Your team got a little hard on him..."

"Thank God you stopped it." Lisa commented gazing at Cas. "He seems to be a nice guy. And his blue eyes are beautiful."

' _Yes, they are.'_ Dean thought not noticing a smile growing on his face. ' _Wait, what?_ '

 

[Castiel]

 

Gabe's company was helping Cas get through the day. His second day at school was getting calm, good.

"Mind if we join you?" a voice said more than asked. A group of three boys sat next to them. "Sorry, all the tables are full, except for yours, so..."

"Yeah, no problem, kiddo." Gabriel smiled politely.

Castiel kept explaining how Spain and Portugal aren't the same country, or that Portugal isn't a part of Spain. Hell, he doesn't even have Geography, his brother has, and still he's the one who explains this kind of stuff.

The group didn't mind them, talking about their own things.

"And then...  _Bang..._ He shot the  _sonofabitch_  with a full SWAT team aiming at him." the asian one told excited.

"No way? And John did nothing?" One of the others asked, absorbing the words his friend had just spoke.

"He was like:  _Holy shit!_ And Mycroft was yelling ' _Do not fire!'._ I mean, the episode was  _so_ awesome!"

"That's not the best part." Castiel interrupted the group not looking at them. Gabriel wasn't paying attention to their conversation until Cas'  intervention . The strangers stared at him. Cas felt uncomfortable. "Um.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"No, no problem, man." the skinny one said smiling. "So tell us, which was?"

Castiel looked at them and then at the asian one.

" ' _Did you miss me?'_ " He simply quoted, hoping the asian would understand. It worked.

"That's right! How could I forget that... Good one... Hmm..."

"Castiel." He introduced himself. "This is my brother Gabriel." Gabriel waved at them.

"I'm Kevin. This is Garth... And this is Ash."

They spent the next hour talking about their favorite tv shows and soon they figure out they had a lot in common. Well, except for Gabriel, who knew the basics about some of the series they talked about but wasn't as addicted as the other four. So, at the first chance he got, left them lunching, joining his two friends, but only after being sure Cas was okay with that.

Castiel was feeling good. His body was still aching but being there, chatting so openly about series with someone else was really awesome. He finally could see a possible friendship growing with that group.

 

[Sam]

 

"What do we have here?" Crowley said with an evil smile on his face. "The little Winchester and his little bitch..."

Sam was with Jessica in the back of the school, sitting on a bench, sharing a sandwich and giggling about a joke Jessica had just told.

"What do you want?"

"C'mon moose, you know what I want..."

"I have no money. I brought my lunch from home. Now leave.us.alone."

"Na-ah. If you don't have, maybe your girl has... " he tossed Sam back, grabbing the small, tiny girl by one arm." C'mon sweetie, hand it over."

Sam tried to punch the kid, shorter than him, but besides the height Crowley was much stronger than the Winchester and punched him back.  _Twice._ Sam fell on his knees. Jessica screamed, tears about to streak down her face and, shaking, she took the money out of her wallet and gave it to the bully.

Crowley happily accepted the money, counting it and shoving it into one of his pockets.

He bowed over the boy and spat on his face, laughing.

"See you tomorrow, moose."


	3. Mistakes

~ _14th October 2014_ ~

 

One week had passed and things were normal. Castiel made some friends and now he didn't need Gabriel always next to him to protect him. It was a good thing, since Gabriel was getting serious with Hannah so it was good to have some time to spend with his girl.

Dean was good too. Some of his teammates were still upset but he didn't care about those douches. Things were okay with Tessa and he was feeling great. The thought of Castiel slowly disappeared and his dad wasn't home so he didn't need to feel worried every time he went home after school. And John left the Impala, taking his 'new' truck instead, so Dean was even happier.

 

[Cas]

 

He headed to Biology class. It was Tuesday afternoon and it was his last class of the day. He sat on his desk, also next to a window, and took his things out, preparing to the class. He noticed someone sitting in the desk next to his but he didn't bother looking to see who it was.

"Afternoon, students. I hope you're enjoying the day 'cause today you'll have a group project. Groups of four." As soon as he said it the class burst into noise, students talking to each other, deciding with who they'd be. "And I'm the one making the groups." He explained loudly.

An 'OHHH' filled the class and the teacher opened his notebook where the groups were already made.

"Okay, let's see... Group one: Adam Milton, Jody Mills, Lilith Johnson and Ed Zeddmore; group two: Alastair Harrison, Castiel Novak, Norman Dixon and... Dean Winchester... "

Castiel sighed. ' _Great, Alastair.'_ He heard a low laugh from the seat in front of his. ' _I'm so screwed.'_ He let his head hit the wooden table.

"I guess we'll be together." A familiar voice whispered not to drag too much attention.

He looked at the boy next to him slightly smiling. He kept in silence, looking at Dean's white teeth. Dean frowned a little uncomfortable.

"Hmm-Yeah, I guess so." The last time they had spoken was over a week.

He stared at his eyes.

"I have something on my face?" Dean asked cleaning his face with his hands noticing Cas' staring.

"Hm? Um no... It's nothing. I was just thinking, sorry."

"Thinking about what?"

' _About your green eyes and that stupidly attractive smile.'_ Cas hold the urge to say that and looked back to his exercise book.

"We should decide a day to get this done.. The work I mean." He coughed, clearing his voice.

"Yeah, sure, Cas." Cas' heart missed a beat ' _Cas?'_ "Do you want me to ask Alastair and Norman?"

"I don't think they want to do the work..." Castiel commented, subtly gazing at them. Yep, they didn't seem interested.

"So, just you and me, then." He nicely smiled, his green eyes fixed on Cas'. "Tomorrow, 4pm at the library. What do you say?"

"Sounds good."

The teacher was now showing a PowerPoint about what they would study next. Castiel was now silent, paying attention to Mr. Trenton. Dean, in other hand, was playing with two pencils, drumming them on the desk silently. Apparently not silently enough.

"Mr. Winchester!" Mr. Trenton shouted at the student at the back of the classroom. The rest of the class looked at him. "Having fun back there?"

"Yes, sir." He mocked smiling. Mr. Trenton's expression got tense.

"Well, I hope you stop your drumming and maybe explain what I just said."

"You're the teacher, you should know what you just said." The rest of the class laughed.

He ignored Dean's last comeback and went back to his presentation. The rest of the class went normal, with Dean not playing pencil-drum anymore.

The bell rang and the students quickly packed their things and started leaving the class.

"See you then, I guess."

And they both went in different directions at the hall.

 

[Sam]

 

Sam was tired. Tired of running. He never liked Tuesday's practices. They were always the longest of the week and this one was no exception. Some other students were watching the practice and among them Sam saw Crowley staring at him. He stopped, eyes fixed on the small fat bully.

"Winchester!" Mr. Ross, the coach called. "Your legs should be moving."

"Sorry, mister." he answered back, starting running again.

After fifteen more minutes of that, the team played a quick game and went to the locker room.

"Next week we have a game." Brady informed cleaning the sweat on his forehead with a towel. "Finally."

"Yeah. Hey Sam, I didn't know you were friends with that Crowley punk... " Jake commented walking towards him and resting against Sam's locker.

" I'm not. Where did you get that idea from? "

"He came to me, today. Asking about our practices. He said you two have a strong relationship..." He explained making a worried expression when Sam sighed.

"We're not friends. We're pretty far from that." He aggressively shoved his clothes into his bag. "Anyway, don't worry. I'll handle it."

Sam left the locker room and soon he was walking home. A sweet voice broke his lonely walk.

"Hmm, hi." He turned around and a short cute girl with long black hair was smiling at him. "I'm Ruby." He kept in silence. "Sorry, it's just... I was watching your practice today and..." her face flushed pink.

"I'm Sam."

"I know."

Silence.

"As I was saying... I was watching your practice and a friend of mine, Meg, she dared me to talk to the cutest player, so... " Her face was now like a tomato.

Sam laughed.

"Well, we're talking." He glanced around. They were alone and it was getting dark. "Tell you what, we can talk our way home. Where do you live?"

 

[Dean]

 

One day had passed and it was now 4:17pm.

Dean was with Tessa, inside a bathroom's compartment.

"Shit." He swore realizing he should already be at the library. "I'm late."

"Late for what?" Tessa asked cleaning the corners of her mouth with one hand and getting to her feet.

"A group project with Cas. We agreed to be at the library at 4." He explained closing the zipper of his jeans. "I gotta go, babe." He kissed her forehead and slowly opened the door. ' _No one in sight. Good.'_

He ran all the way to the meeting point. Cas was already there, books opened around the table and he was writing something on his notebook. He seemed bored.

"Sorry, time flew." He apologized, sitting at the other part of the table, opposite to Cas.

"It's okay." He simply said, eyes still on the notebook.

Dean joined him, opening his own notebook and looking at Cas' notes.

"How's Tessa?"

Dean stared at him. ' _How does he--'_

"What?" He quickly replied, his cheeks flushing a little.

"She's your girlfriend, right? I thought like we're doing a work together we could, I don't know, talk about things? I don't want our partnership to be boring... "

"Oh that... she's... she's fine. Thanks for asking."

Cas smiled at him and their eyes met.

' _Hot damned, his eyes are compelling. Not only the eyes, look at his -- No! 1473, 365 days makes a year, blue matches... Cas' eyes... Shit! Stop it, Dean.'_

"Is everything okay?" Cas' voice pulled Dean back to reality. "You were making strange faces..." He frowned.

"Hmm--hmm sorry. It happens sometimes. Me making strange faces, I--" ' _Stop talking, Dean.'_ He shut up and felt his face hot.

"M-kay." He arched his eyebrows, grabbing one book on the table.

They didn't talk much after that, only sharing what they found on different books.

It was 6:30 pm when the library was closing so they left school.

"So... You need a ride home?" Dean offered showing his car keys.

"Oh no. I don't want to bother you..."

"Not bothering at all. My car is over there. The black Chevy." He proudly smiled pointing to his car.

 

[Sam]

 

**Ruby Johnson 7:17 pm.**

_'You're funny ;) See you tomorrow?'_

 

Sam was sitting on his bed, glancing at the phone screen. He only knew Ruby for one day but he already had her number and they were texting each other ever since. She was nice and he liked it...

 

**Sam Winchester 7:19 pm.**

_' Sure, can't see why not :) '_

 

He landed the phone on the bed but it soon vibrated calling his attention.   
' _she answers fast.'_ It wasn't Ruby this time.

 **Jess**   **7:19 pm.**

 **'**   _Hey Sammy, my mom asked me if you wanted to come by and have dinner with us? It doesn't need to be today._  
 _I think she's starting to accept us, yey \o/'_

**Sam Winchester 7:20 pm.**

_'I got to ask my brother. He's not home yet._   
_That's good! I wish my dad was like your mother :/_   
_I'll let you know when my brother gets home :D'_

****Jess**  ** **7:21 pm.**

_'K'_

 

He heard the front door shut. His brother was finally at home, or so he thought.

"Deean!" He greeted opening the door of his room, not to see his brother but his dad instead. "Oh, hello dad."

"Where's your brother?" His dad asked grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"He's out."

"Doing what? He left you here alone?"

_'Crap, he's not in a good mood. Great.'_

_"_ I'm alone 'cause I came home without warning him. Don't get too hard on him. It was my fault." Sam explained not moving.

"It's no excuse. School's already over. Where the hell is he?" He yelled turning up the Tv.

Right after that, Dean came in, throwing the car keys to the table not seeing his dad. He opened the fridge and took a beer to himself.

"Yo, Sammy!" He shouted, calling his brother, who was at the same division but he hadn't seen.

He turned around and choked on his drink when he saw his dad eyeing him serious.

"Hi, dad. You already home?"

"Where were you?"

"With a... Friend." His voice slightly failing. Cas was not a friend, just a guy he barely knew.

"A friend? Your brother was alone at home because you were with a friend?"

"It was for a school project, dad. And Sammy looks fine. Nothing's wrong." He shrugged, relaxing.

"What did I tell you, boy? First the family and only then school. You don't let your brother alone. And it is an order!"  
 _'Oh well, screw you, you fucking moron. Sammy is thirteen years old, he can be alone at home for two freaking hours. Hell I was younger than him and I used to be entire days alone! He can take care of himself, you sonofabitch. If you want him to be protected why don't you man up and try to be a fucking dad for once in your life?'_

Dean took a deep breath controlling his next words, "Yes, sir. I'm sorry, it won't happen again.'

 

[Castiel]

 

Cas returned to his bedroom, closing the door as usual. He still needed to clean some things up and he had some homework to be done.

Gladly no one bothered him for a while.

He dined with his family in silence. They spoke about visiting their cousin Naomi at Christmas and see how things were back at Illinois.

Anna was the most excited about that idea; she had her secret boyfriend there and she was dying to see him again. Castiel was not so amused. The thinking of returning, even momentarily, to the town that diminished him, broke him, that made him do unforgivable things gave him chills and suddenly he asked to leave the table which his mother allowed and he went upstairs, back to his room.

"May I come in?" He heard Anna's voice at the other side of the door. She opened it after Cas gave her a positive reply and sat on the bed, legs crossed, "You okay?"

"I'm fine, why?" He was finishing his homework. His back turned at her.

"I'm just worried, that's all. You didn't talk at dinner and got all -- I don't know. You didn't seem okay."

He dropped his pencil, "You know what happened at Pontiac. We moved here because of that. So you know very well I don't want to go back there. Not ever." His voice failed, a knot formed in his throat.

"Cassie.. "

"Stop calling me that... He's the only one who had that right... But he's gone now. So stop calling me that."

"The other guy?"

"His name was Balthazar." He turned at her. His face was sad. "Okay?"

"Sorry. Balthazar, got it. But sweetie, things are okay now. And we just want to visit our family and have a nice Christmas with our relatives. See little Hael, uncle Uriel... "

"Bullshit!" he muttered.

"What?"

"Our family sucks. They're not even nice... And  _you.._ You're not even gonna be there!"

"What are you implying, Castiel?"

"You think I don't know? You just wanna go, so you'll have a dick in your pants!" he didn't think before talking. Her face got mad. "Sorry, I didn't--"

"Fuck you!" She got to her feet. "I'm here trying to help you and you get all bitchy on me? You think it was easy for me? I left everything behind because of you! Because little Castiel decided to start fucking with men. Well, screw it! I'm not protecting you anymore! Go see if Gabriel puts up with you."

Castiel waited for her to leave his room, which she did, with a loud bang on the door.

It hurt. She was one of the few that stood on his side, always comforting him. He was so stupid with her and she only said the truth. They'd never need to move if he wasn't gay, they'd still have their house, their jobs, their friends. And they let it all go for him.

He climbed into the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and slowly.   
 _'Think of something nice.'_ and then he remembered Dean's eyes. But instead of it making him feel better, it just got him worse. All this mess and he was thinking about some  _guy_ 's eyes.

He didn't even know him much, but he was hypnotic, attractive.   
 _'No, stop it. You're starting over. No more guys in your life!'_

And that was it. Castiel decided he couldn't keep talking to the dreamy green-eyed classmate. 


	4. Chapter 4 - Let's Get Things Right

_~16th October 2014~_

 

[Dean]

 

"You didn't tell us the biology work was yesterday." Norman remarked, leaning idly against his locker. Alastair gazed Dean, still upset with him.

"I didn't know you as diligent." Dean mocked stretching a smile on his face.

"Same goes for you, Winchester." Alastair's thick voice rejoined. "You're what? Nerd's best friend, now?"

"Why, you jealous?" Dean smirked not caring about the hard tone at Al's voice. "Look, you had your fun, now we needed to get this done and you guys wouldn't help much. I just gave him a hand."

"It's not your call to decide if we had our fun or not, Dean. Stop being a pig-headed and don't rattle, got it?" Alastair warned him and then the group left Dean alone before he could form an answer.

He shrugged and went to his first class of the day: Maths. He eyed the class. Most of his classmates were already in clattering. He saw his desk, the last of the second column counting from the windows. He took his copybook off of his old and slightly torn bag and started drawing - or trying to - his dad's Chevy Impala. Maybe he could keep it if he begged his dad. Dean was so lost on his thoughts he didn't notice Castiel sitting at the desk next to his or the teacher starting the class. 

"Novak, come to the board and do the next exercise." He came back to reality when he heard the loud voice of his teacher calling his classmate.

He waited for him to get back to his seat after doing the exercise.

"What do you think?" Dean asked him, showing his unfinished draw. Castiel looked at it and simply shrugged, returning then to his exercises. "Not in a good mood?"

Cas didn't reply. Dean frowned confused. "Is everything okay?" His voice enquired concerned.

"I'm busy, can't you see?" Castiel replied coldly not looking at Dean.

"Okay, sorry."

And those were the last words they shared for the rest of the class.

 

[Castiel]

 

"What do you think?" A deep voice took his attention from his notebook. He looked at draw Dean was showing him. The carefully but shaky line built a not perfect but good draw of a car: the car he saw the other day.He wanted to be nice and encourage Dean to continue but he just shrugged. 

"Not in a good mood?" He heard Dean's voice once more and God how he liked his voice. ' _Focus, Castiel. Stop it._ ' By the counter of his eye he noticed Dean's frowned forehead and he wanted to answer him but the best thing to do was to just ignore him.  _'Besides, he's straight so why should I destroy this even more? If I get my hopes high I'll be disappointed and I probably will be bullied by everyone. He just saved me once, nothing else.'_ "Is everything okay?" The tone of Dean's voice made Castiel melt. His head was about to explode with so much thinking.

"I'm busy, can't you see?" It came out a lot harsher then he wanted but he didn't apologize.

"Okay, sorry." And again Castiel melt, although this time it came with a painful sadness. He realized how worried Dean was. He realized that Dean cared. Someone in a very long time asked if everything was okay with a truthful tone of worry on his voice. And Castiel just pushed him back, treated him like nothing. _'It's for the best. I can't live through that again.'_

After Maths, Cas had Physics and English, both with Dean, but they didn't exchange any words. Cas stood on his desk listening to the teachers carefully and never looking at Dean. And it was hard! Castiel was gaining a "taste" for Dean's body line and face. Well, he never had actually seen it but he could always imagine it.

He didn't have any subjects at afternoon se he decided to look for Kevin and the others or to just go home. He wasn't really in the mood to be surrounded by people so after pondering a little he left school and walked across the street, towards his house. At the end of the road he saw Gabriel, who turned around seeing his brother.

"Cas!" he called but his voice wasn't smooth as it usually is.

"Is everything okay?"

"Hannah just broke up with me."

"Why?"

"She got me kissing another chick." Cas turned his head at his brother. "But I didn't kiss her, she kissed me! My lips didn't move..." Awkward silence. "I swear."

"Okay, I believe you. Look, I'm going home. You coming?" Gabriel nodded and they both started walking.

"Cas?"

"Uh?"

"What was that with Anna, last night?"

"She told you?"

"Of course she did! She's my favorite sister-"

"You only have one sister." Castiel commented.

"Well, I'm her favorite brother. Don't get jealous." Gabriel smirked ruffling Cas' hair with a hand. No big difference from how his hair was before. "You should apologize yourself and crawl. You should do both... at the same time."

"I know. I was nervous, anxious about the thought of-"

"That's not an excuse. But I understand. And now you have to do something! She's a good sister, little brother. No one supports you more than she does."

"More than you?"

"You know very well my answer, old bean. You're my brother and I'll always protect you. No matter what."

"Don't get all girly on me." Cas smirked hearing a long laugh from his brother.

"I thought that was your job." Gabriel responded winking at Castiel who faked an offended gasp.

"You idiot!"

"Shut up. You love me!"

 

[Sam]

 

"...So your homework is... page 72. Don't do exercise 3, I'll explain it next class. You can start packing your things." Mrs. Kidman announced to her class. Sam wrote the homework down and when the bell rang he left the classroom, walking towards his locker.

"Sam!" He turned around. It was Ruby running at his direction, three books against her chest. "Hey!"

"Hi, Ruby. Need some help?" He pointed at her books.

"Oh, thank you." She smiled allowing him to grab them. "Hm.. So I assume you know my cousin, Lilith?"

"Hmm, yeah, I heard about her. She dates Alastair, the football team co-captain, right?"

"Right! So, her birthday's this week and she's doing a party. She likes to do parties - a bunch actually - anyway, before the party, there's gonna be a familiar thing, you know _... lame_... and I have to go. I was wondering, why don't you come with me?" Sam noticed her cheeks turning red.

"Isn't it something  _familiar_?"

"Yeah but we can take someone with us and I remembered you. It's not like it's a date or anything. I just don't wanna go alone, we're not too attached. I mean, Lilith and I. Please?"

"Okay. I'll try to make it."

Her eyes brightened and she kissed him in the cheek, "Thanks, Sam. You're awesome. I'll text you later, okay?"

He watched her leaving. A pair of hands lied on his shoulders. It was Jessica.

"Who's she?" She asked pointing at the girl long gone.

"Ruby. She's a friend." Sam answered hugging Jessica and kissing her forehead. They were a cute couple. Sam wasn't very tall (yet) but he was a lot taller than he was 6 months before, time when they started dating and she was the short of the relationship.

"You didn't answer last night... You said you'd give an answer but you didn't."

"Right, the dinner! Totally forgot to ask my brother. Some family thing happened, don't worry. When is it?"

"Friday's good?"

"I guess. I'll tell you later, okay?"

 

[Dean]

 

John wasn't home but this time he left a note at the fridge.

 

_**"I left for beers. I should be back tomorrow or so.** _

_**-J.W."** _

 

"' _Beers_.'" Dean rolled his eyes. "Try _: I'm out to get laid_." He was used to it. His father was always a bastard... a stupid bastard.

He cleaned the kitchen's table and then the living room and finally went to his room who was a mess: clothes on the floor, bed undone, desk loaded of papers and even more clothes; his baseball bat rolling across the wooden floor, Sam's comic books under his bed. He sighed grabbing the dirty clothes to a bag to put them to wash later. Then he grabbed the baseball bat and leaned it against his bedside table. His eyes relapsed to a box of condoms lost on the floor.

"Shit. I really need to clean this god damn room." He grabbed the box and tucked it inside the first drawer in the middle of his socks, covering it with the pairs he took out to place the box. "First the stupid magazines and now this? Na-ah. Better keep things hidden."

He looked at his watch. ' _Time to get Sammy from school. I still have the car, sweet._ "

 

"Get in the car, Sammy!" He yelped from the car window at the boy flirting at his girlfriend. "You can make out tomorrow."

"You can ask your bother now" Jess sweet voice reached Dean's ears.

"Ask me what?"

"Right! Hmm, Dean, Jessica wants me to have dinner with her family. Her mother invited me."

"Sure, go ahead, little brother. Do you want me to get you a ride there, then?"

"Actually, it's not today. Tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. So.. Let's go, Sam." He got into the car. "Nice to see you again, Jess." She waved and the he turn the engine on.

"She's a nice girl." Dean commented, eyes on the road.

"She's... perfect." Sam's eyes shined while talking about her. "She's different. She understands me, she's there every time and I like her."

"I'm happy for you."

"I bet you have the same with Tessa. She seems nice too. I never really spoke to her but I saw you two together and she likes you. Do you like her?"

Dean frowned, it was a good question. A hard question.

" "Like" is a hard word. What does that really mean? I enjoy being around her, she's nice and she's good at-" He stopped remembering he was talking to a 13 year-old person "-Hmm, I-"

"I mean, do you love her? Have you ever looked at her and thought "She's everything to me"? Did you ever say that you loved her?"

"I-" He didn't Not once. "You're just a kid, you don't know what you're talking about. Love's complicated!"

He kept his eyes on the road but his mind was elsewhere. There were things that no one knew about him, about some shitty things he did while dating her. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't a good boyfriend. But all that time he convinced himself he needed to love her. But if he made it a need maybe it wasn't so true, was it? But then again what is love?

He was so distracted with his thoughts he didn't realize his brother was still talking.

"We're staying here, right Dean?"

"What?"

"Here! We're not moving again, right? We're here for a whole year, which is a record for us... And I don't wanna leave. Not now."

"Of course not! We're here for good, I promise." He parked the car. "The past is in the past. All those years are gone. We're a family with a house and food and... Our own things. We're home, Sammy!"

 

[Castiel]

 

He knocked at Anna's door. He could hear a loud music playing inside. 

"Anna, please, let me talk to you." No reply. "Anna! For God's sake!" Silence. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot! I said things I didn't have the right to. I was upset and I took it on you. Just... Forgive my indolence. You're my sister and I love you! I'm so sorry." pause. "Anna?" 

The door opened. 

"You're right about one thing... Ok, two. Yes, you are an idiot and yes, you do love me."

"So, we're fine?"

"I'm still mad... "

" I can crawl." He joked, kneeling. 

"What? Get up and get in. I don't want Lucifer sniffing around."

He entered her room and sat on the floor, legs crossed. 

"First,  _if_ \- and it's a big if - I forgive you, you'll have to tell me all about the guy who brought you home yesterday --"

"What?"

"- _And_ you'll have to clean up my room."

"I think I prefer you mad at me."

"Fine."

"Fine." He replied but he got up and grabbed some lost clothes. "When do I start?" 

She grinned, jumping to her bed and invited him to join her. He dropped the clothes and sat next to her. 

"Tell me about him. What's his name?"

"His name's Dean Winchester and he is just some guy. We barely know each other."

"C'mon, he's sexy." Cas looked at her. "There's a remote chance I might have spied on the window..." She explained laughing. 

"You shouldn't do that..."

"Better be me than Lucifer... Or mom... Don't ya think? Now continue, what do you feel for him?"

"Like I said, I barely know him." She kept looking at him expectant. "Fine. I think he has a nice ass." Anna laughed. "And beautiful green eyes and a compelling mouth, I mean...  _Gosh!_ His voice is so deep, I can feel my body vibrating whenever he speaks. He has that strong and fitted body but he's cute. If you look close you'll see his freckles and it's just so adorable!" 

Anna was listening with a large smile and a dreamy look on her face. 

"Awww, Castiel, you like him!"

"I don't know... It doesn't even matter. He has a girlfriend and for what Ash told me he is quite a womanizer. He's out of my league... "

"Who knows? You should give it a try. Maybe you'll get something in your pants too, this Christmas..." She joked. 

"I'm so--"

"Shut up and come here." She hugged him. "I think you have a room to clean. I'll leave you alone... Ya know, not to disturb you." She smirked, leaving then the room.

 

 

_~17th october 2014~_

 

_They stared at each other eyes, their skin hot. Their lips touched and Dean felt Cas' soft lips against his and then their tongues tangled coordinated. They breathing each others breaths._   
_Dean pulled Cas closer and softly kissed his neck, his right hand running through Cas' messy hair._   
_"Dean." Cas groaned biting Dean's lip. He wanted him, all of him._   
_Dean took Cas' shirt off kissing him all the way to the bottom of Cas' belly. Hands passed through his back and soon his own t-shirt was gone too._   
_"I want you." Dean stated opening Cas' pants zipper and slowly taking them off, leaving the blue-eyed boy only with boxers. "Do you want me?" He asked looking up at Cas._   
_"I do." Cas moaned._   
_Dean smiled and looked at Cas' underwear, a salient form restricted against the black fabric. He took it off and he gently grabbed his cock, his hand moving along it, in up and down movements._   
_"Just--" Cas' didn't finish, moaning when he felt Dean's wet lips involving his cock, sucking it. It felt so good. He put a hand on Dean's hair, grabbing it and helping him with the speed._   
_A few moments later Dean stopped, giving a long lick at Cas' member and returning to his mouth._   
_"You're so good." Dean whispered biting Cas' ear._   
_Cas sat up, helping Dean to lose his pants and boxers. Dean was already hard. He made Dean sat up too and then he sat himself on his lap._   
_He felt Dean inside him, his two bodies pressing together, their heavy breaths: Dean's against Cas' neck and Cas with his head fallen back groaning. Dean's hands holding Cas, touching Cas's back._   
_"Dean... "_   
_"Cas..."_

"Dean!" He forcefully opened his heavy eyes, he was laying on his bed, Sam standing up next to Dean's bed.

"What?"

"You were making strange noises and... Who's Cas?"

"What?"

"You said 'Cas'. " He said curious. "Who is  _she_?"

"What? Just shut your mouth!" he harshly muttered, going to the bathroom.

He refreshed his face with cold water and stared at the mirror.

'What the hell, Dean? Why Cas? You don't know him, you have a girlfriend. You -- it seemed so good. No! not again, you had enough of it. Never happening again. You're a girl's man. C'mon!'

**_I want you_  ** _._

Dean closed his eyes and Cas' eyes came to his mind. Deep blue. He loudly sighed.

**_I want you._ **

He ruffled his hair still half asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about the new guy since he had met him, but that was going too far.

**_I want you._ **

"Shit!" He yelled at his own reflection. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"What's wrong?" Sam ran to his rescue, just to find his brother crying. "Dean?"

"Just leave me alone!" He shouted at his brother way too aggressively.

 

~

 

He sat on his desk, waiting for the beginning of his Biology class. Castiel sat next to him. Not a word exchanged.

The teacher entered the class.

" 'Morning class. You'll have this class to continue your project. So start working!"

The students changed seats to form their groups. Norman and Alastair joined the two silent boys.

"Winchester!... Novak." Alastair greeted them. "Why don't we join your tables, huh?" And so they did, sitting then down. "So, how's the work? Done, I presume?"

"Uh, no. We still have some things we need to c--" Castiel started to explain but he was interrupted by Norman.

"Just get it done, got it?"

He shyly nodded.

"So my girl's having a party today - birthday party. You coming?" Alastair asked Norman.

"You bet! Dude, Abaddon's breasts!" Dean instantly rolled his eyes. Norman noticed. "You got a problem, Winchester?" He quickly asked.

"Me? No, no... Just, Abby's out of your league, don't you think?" Dean mocked.

"You took a bite of her, didn't you? A big bite actually. If you did it, I can do it too."

Dean laughed and he saw Castiel giving him a look. He stopped. For some reason he stopped laughing and he felt bad. Guilty as if he had done something wrong. They stared at each other for some seconds that seemed like centuries to them.

_**I want you.** _

"Shit." Dean said looking away. He put his both hands at his crotch pressing it down. ' _Fuck, not now.'_

"What's wrong, Winchester?" Alastair wondered curious.

"I--hmm--I forgot to do something at home, this morning."

He looked again at Cas who was now glaring at the place where Dean's hands where. Cas realizing Dean caught him looking, looked away blushing.

"You coming too, right?" Norman asked Dean.

"Hm-I don't know. Tessa didn't say anything about a party."

"And?" This time it was Alastair. "We all know that you don't need Tessa to have fun." Dean continued in silence. "And you still are the captain, so don't you dare think not going."

"I'll see what I can do."

 

~

 

"So, Dean, truth or dare?" Abaddon asked. It was already night and they were at Lil's party. They were now 11 playing the game.

"Dare! Bring it on!" He answered smiling.

"Okay. You have to... Do a strip tease, right here, right now. I have "Cherry Pie" on my phone."

The rest of the group looked at him. Tessa eyed Abaddon not so comfortable with that idea.

"C'mon, I have a girlfriend... "

"No. Do it." Tessa said. "What's good is to be shown." She gazed Abaddon with a huge bitch face. Everyone knew what the red one felt for Dean.

"Alright then. Turn up the music."

 

~

 

"Truth or dare?" this time it was Joshua asking.

"Hmm... Truth." Dean responded.

"Tell us your last erotic dream." The others made a 'uhhh' turning at the half-naked teen.

' _Crap!'_

"It-hmm-It was with a room full of hot chicks. Sorry babe." He kissed Tessa.

"Was anyone of them called Cas?" He heard Sam's voice behind him.

' _Crap!'_

"Why were you dreaming about Castiel?" Lilith asked.

"I wasn't!" he eyed Sam. "I'm gonna kill you." He mouthed at his brother.

 

~

 

"Truth or Dare?" Lilith made the question.

"Screw it. Truth."

"Tell us what you feel about little Cassie."

"What? What kind of stupid question is that?"

"You're the one who dreamed about him."

"I didn't!" she kept eyeing him. "Ahm... He's... Cool. Yeah, he's a cool guy."

"And...? Go on."

" _And_ I'm out. Gonna grab a drink." He got up still shirtless and left the group.

' _That Sammy. What an idiot!'_

He went to the kitchen and there he was, Sam with a girl, but it wasn't Jessica. Another girl. He approached them.

"Yo, Sammy, what are you doing with this chick?"

"Dean, this is Ruby. Lilith's cousin." Sam introduced her.

"Hey." He smiled at her only not to seem rude. She smiled back. "Where's Jess?"

"She didn't come. Her mom got sick so the dinner was cancelled."

"Well, what a shame. But hey, now you're here. Enjoy. I'm gonna get drunk. Excuse me."

  
_One beer._   
_Two._   
_Three._   
_One shot of Vodka._   
_Four beers._   
_Some shots in between._   
_Five beers._

"Jeez, Dean." Tessa grabbed Dean who was barely standing upright. "Come here. Sit. I wonder how you're not in a coma by now."

"You're nice." He said playing with her nose.

"You're nice too, sweetie. But not when you're drunk."

"Let me see your eyes." He commanded approaching her face, his breath stinking at alcohol. "They're not blue. I like blue eyes."

"Blue eyes are pretty."

"They're perfect." He laughed. "He's perfect."

"Who's perfect?"

He burped, then started laughing again.

"I have to tell you something. Something important."

"Tell me what, sweetie?"

He looked at her smiling, but soon a tear streamed down his face.

"I once fucked a guy. And I liked it."

" _WHAT?"_

 

[Castiel]

 

"You can go, really." Castiel repeated for the hundredth time. "I'll stay with Anna.

"Hell no. I'm not going anywhere! She dumped me and now she's texting me she wants to go to a party with me? Screw her. I'm staying with ya both."

"Ok, Gabe. But we need something to do. What about a movie marathon? You, me and Cas watching films all night." Anna offered smiling. "I'll get the popcorn."

"Fine but I choose what we'll watch. I'm done with your romances and Cas' geek things."

"I'm sorry if my culture is way better than yours." Cas joked sitting on the middle of the couch. "But yeah, okay."

"Let's see... We'll watch... Annabelle!"

"No!" Anna shouted from the kitchen. "No way I'm gonna watch that shit. No horror!"

"Oh c'mon, the doll is so  _cute_. It looks just like you and all." Gabe mocked. She came to the living room and threw him a pillow from the armchair.

"Ha-ha. Very funny."

"We can always watch The Avengers..."

"Again?! We already watched it three times..." Gabe nagged.

"If you continue arguing like that I'm the one who's going to choose the freaking film." A rough voice came out of nowhere. "I mean if you still remember me..."

"Michael?" Anna said running towards her brother, hugging him. "God, you here! When did you arrive?"

"Yesterday." Their older brother let go of Anna and sat on the couch, still wearing his army uniform. "Hi, Castiel. Gabriel."

"Hi." They answered at the same time.

"How was it?" Anna sat next to him with an arm around his shoulders.

"What, Iraq?"

She nodded.

"I uh-" His voice failed. "I thought we were going to see a film! What about X-men? God, how I miss X-men."

"Yeah, sure, X-men it is..." Anna answered kissing him in his cheek.

 

[Sam]

 

The sky was dark, full of shining stars. Next to him there was Ruby, glancing over at the sky, mouth open and eyes brightening.

"Thanks for coming. It was really nice of you." She thanked him looking up.

"Thank you for inviting me! I had a good time." She smiled. "And I'm glad I'm here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're nice."

She grinned. "You're nice too, Sam." She looked at him. "Really nice." Their faces got close and before he could do anything her lips touched his. They gave a small kiss. "And you're a good kisser."

Sam froze for a while, his brain still processing what had just happened.

"Sam?"

"I'm sorry, I-I sh-should go." He said and automatically his legs started moving, taking him from the grass to somewhere else.

 

[Dean]

 

"Drink this."

"I don't want to."

"Dean, drink this!" Tessa yelled passing him a mug of coffee. They were in a bedroom and Dean had just left the bathroom where he washed his face. "We need to talk and I need you sober. Or the closest thing to that at least."

"Why you mad at me?" His voice still half coiled.

"You sober?"

He laughed, "Kinda" She snapped him. He moaned in pain. "Why you did that?"

"You slept with a guy?"

"I-I-Oh, c'mon..."

"Yeah, you're half sober, now. Answer me!"

"Tessa, look-"

"Yes or no?"

"...Yeah."

"It was before we started dating, right?" He kept in silence. "Right?"

"It's complicated."

"Who and when?"

"It doesn't matter." He gave two steps forward.

"I'm gonna ask you this again and this time I want an answer.  _Who and when?_ "

He sighed, closing his eyes, "Damien at Cassie's party."

"Damien? Cassie's cousin... At her party?" She shouted angrily. "Wait... that was three months ago..."

"I know, I'm sorry, I was drunk and it just got out of hand. I'm so sorry."

"Who else?"

"No one!"

"WHO ELSE?"

"NO ONE, okay?" He cried, taking his hands to his head. "No one..."

"You know, I bared all the cases you had with girls... Yes, I know. Everyone knows. But I never said anything, I just... But a guy? You cheated on me with a fucking guy?"

"Tessa..." He tried to hold her.

"Don't touch me, you faggot!" He clenched his teeth and his eyes darkened.  _Ouch!_  "I just hope you wash your dick everyday 'cause it seems to be more used than a fucking whore." She huffed with her voice full of hate and poison, tears streaking down her face.

"Yeah, you never complained when you were sucking it."

She scoffed, offended and without saying anything else left the room.

 

The next day came and Dean was, once again, late for work. He didn't feel like working neither, but still, he needed the money. He got up. Sam was still asleep. He went to the bathroom washing his face. He glanced at the mirror, huge bags under his eyes. He leaned his head against the mirror, the cold surface cooling Dean's forehead, but not the headache. He tried to remember what happened the night before: the game, the drinking... the argument with Tessa.

_'Crap!'_

He grabbed his phone, "7:02 am. Great, now I'm really late. Screw it."

He ran to his room and dressed up a black t-shirt, some old jeans, put his boots and grabbed some plaid shirt. No way was he dressing his leather jacket to work, especially when it includes handling with oils. As soon as he could, he left home and got into the Impala.

"Here he is." Bobby called seeing Dean getting out of the car. "Get your ass here and fast, ya idjit!"

He ran, "Sorry, sorry."

Bobby was with the company of a tall man with dark hair. Dean gazed at him noticing the large shoulders and the white t-shirt showing his abs, "So, Michael, you wanted our best mechanic to take care of your motorcycle, here he is."

"This kid?"

"This kid. Yeah, he's not very punctual, but he's a hell of a mechanic. Your Harley Davidson will be in good hands. Trust me!"

Michael approached the teen, measuring him in silence, "Michael Novak. Nice to meet you, boy."

"Novak?" Dean frowned, "As in: Castiel Novak?"

"Yes, he's my brother. You know him?"

"He's at my class." Dean couldn't help a smile.

"Oh..." He kept eyeing Dean. He coughed, "Anyway, I'm back from the army and my babe is a little rusty. No one took care of her while I was out and now I'm here and people say this is the best place in town.

"You bet! Don't worry; I'll put your motorcycle as good as new. A Harley Davidson, you said?"

"That's correct. A 1994 Harley Davidson Softail Springer."

"Sweet!"

"Why don't you go to work, Dean?" Bobby interrupted. "I think you're already late enough to be here chatting with our costumer." Dean nodded and entered the shop in silence, not hiding a huge smile on his face. It would be his first time repairing a freaking Harley.

 

[Castiel]

 

"Wakie, wakie, little brother!" Cas opened his eyes in frustration, seeing Anna opening the dark blue curfews of his room. "The sun is already up and you, little Cas, got things to do." She grinned.

"You're in a good mood..." He commented scrubbing his eyes holding a yawn. The clock at the bedside table was showing the time: 10:27 am.

"Of course I'm in a good mood. It's your birthday, you silly! And Michael's home and I got a present for you!"

' _MY birthday... How could I forget? Oh wait I could, I hate birthdays...'_

"What is it?" Cas asked, his eyes widened. Anna's gifts were always... originals.

She grinned bouncing across the room, grabbing Cas' phone and holding it at Cas' eyes level so he could see it or read it, at this case.

 

**Castiel Novak 9:47 am.**

_'Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to take a coffee or something, today?_

_It's my birthday and I really don't want to stay at home alone. What do you say?'_

 

Cas read the message to himself and gasped in worry.

"Anna, you sent this to whom?"

She laughed showing the rest.

 

**Dean Winchester 9:52 am.**

_'Hey! Sure, can't see why not._

_I'm at work now but I can pick you up after I'm done, if it's okay for you.'_

 

"Anna-"

"Shh, it's not over yet!"

 

**Castiel Novak 9:54 am.**

_'Great! I'll be waiting. See you later.'_

 

**Dean Winchester 9:55 am.**

_'Happy birthday ;)_

_C ya'_

 

"And - you're welcome!" Anna sing-sang, leaving his phone at his lap.

"Oh no, you didn't!" He yelled in frustration, although he was making his victory dance in his mind.

"Oh yes, I did!" She replied smiling. "C'mon Cas, he's hot  _and_ he said yes. Go get him, tiger."

"No, you don't get it! I promised myself I wouldn't look at boys ever again."

"Oh shut it, Castiel." She put her hands on her waist. "You deserve to be happy. And we took it from you, back at Pontiac. I won't let that happen again!"

"You're putting my expectations too high, sis..."

"Not high enough or you'd be already up. Chop, chop, a hot guy is coming for you, you need to get ready."

Cas shook his head laughing with the silliness of his sister. He couldn't believe that he was standing to that Anna two days after their argument. Mrs. Novak called her and she quickly left Cas' bedroom but not before grabbing a pillow and throwing it at his brother, commanding him to get up, "Mom and I'll be back at lunch time. I hope you're up at that time, you heard?" She shouted from the stairs, awaking the rest of the family.

 

[Sam]

 

**Ruby Johnson 10:38 am.**

_'Sam, please, answer me!_

_I'm sorry, okay?_

 

**Ruby Johnson 10:41 am.**

_'Saaaam... Talk to meeeee....'_

 

**Ruby Johnson 10:49 am.**

_'Was it that bad?'_

 

**Ruby Johnson 10:57 am.**

_'Did you lose your phone?'_

 

Sam read all the text messages sighing at the end of each one of them. He didn't reply, he didn't know what to answer. He was dating Jessica and he liked her, no... He loved her. At least as much as a thirteen year-old boy could. He left his cellphone on his bed and went to the kitchen. His brother was not home, neither was his father. It kind of relieved him, truth to be told. He loved his brother, truly, but he liked those moments when he was alone like if he already was an independent grown-up person. He sat on the couch, drinking his yogurt and watching some cartoons. He loved the Simpsons and he needed something to distract him at that moment. When he returned his bedroom one more text message was waiting to be opened.

 

**Ruby Johnson 11:11 am.**

_'Okay, we'll talk at school then._

_See you Monday.'_

 

He didn't reply. He just stood there thinking. He enjoyed Ruby's company but as a friend. And yes, he found her cute, gorgeous and nice but his girl was Jessica and he wouldn't leave her. He didn't want to lose Ruby's friendship so he would talk to her at school and explain everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Cas and Dean's "date" huhuh and whatever comes to my mind when I'm writing it.
> 
> Please, leave a comment and a kudos.
> 
> Thank you and 'til the next chapter!


	5. Happy Birthday

[Dean]

 

Receiving a text message from Castiel got him out of surprise, especially after all the rudeness at school. He was starting to think that Cas could suffer from that bipolar disease... Or... He could have realized how stupid he was with Dean and that invitation was just his way to say he was sorry. And besides, it was his birthday.

What he couldn't understand was why would Castiel choose to spend the day with him, some classmate he did know nothing about, instead of his family and friends.

He sighed, cleaning his hands covered with oil at some rags, watching as the clock’s pointers were running their way around the center of the old and noisy clock, washing then his face at the, it too, old yellow-ish sink and clapped his hands randomly as he walked back to the large shop, half full with some cars.

"Bobby!" He called, looking at the pair of legs sneaking out under a red truck. He heard some metal clattering and the old man rolled out, cleaning his forehead, but only letting it with more black goo on him.

"Yes?" He huffed, not caring about getting up. Too much effort.

Dean hold a grin, seeing some of his beard dirt, and just looked again at the wooden clock, "I'm done for today, okay? " he stripped his overall off and caught his things from his locker, waving at Travis, the other mechanic working that day.

Bobby gazed at the clock and grunted something to himself before turning again at the Winchester, who was waiting for his response, "Ok, kid. Don't forget to come by, tomorrow. I'll pay you extra."

Dean nodded, agreeing, and left the shop, silently walking to his car, dressing his plaid shirt and kicking some rocks during his walk. He usually only worked at Saturdays and Thursdays, at afternoon but if Bobby was going to pay some extra he wouldn't complain.

He looked up at the rear-view mirror and straightened his dark blond hair and unbuttoned his plaid shirt. He thought about going home and change clothes, but no clothing was very different or better from those he had dressed and, moreover, it was already 4pm and Dean didn't want to leave Cas wait for him much longer.

 

[Castiel]

 

"Maybe, he's not coming." Cas sat on the bench at the porch, cleaning his sweaty hands to his jeans and tapping his right foot nervously. A waft of wind hit him, cooling his skin and he worried to smooth down his dark hair with his hands. Anna laughed and tried to help him but his hair was just some messy thing.

"Relax. He  _is_ coming. He just texted you saying he just left work and he'll be here in 15." His sister answered, sitting next to him, caressing his leg. Gabriel appeared out of nowhere and froze looking at them two.

"H-hey, you two! What... Are you doing here?"

"Ahm... We're sitting at our porch. What about you, Gabe?" Anna suspiciously replied frowning.

"I'm going out... School stuff."

"It's Saturday." Castiel commented.

"So?" He then turned around and disappeared across the street. Cas and Anna simply shrugged, not bothering about Gabriel's awkwardness.

The fifteen minutes flew and soon Dean arrived not exiting the car. Cas got up and said the goodbyes to his sister and in return Anna hit him in the butt and whispered a 'Good luck' followed by a wink and then waved at Dean, who nodded in response.

"You look good." Dean praised Cas, who was wearing a white shirt with dark jeans and a pair of converse.

"Thank you." He muttered slightly blushing.

"So... Where to?" Dean enquired, chuckling at the sight of Cas blushing. The he realized he was staring se he coughed looking at his dash pretending to clean something on the glass with his hand.

"I--I really don't know... I'm still figuring out the town."

"You invited me to a coffee or something and you don't know where to go? " He said laughing. "Ok, I know a nice place to go. It's not fancy but the people are cool there."

~

Dean opened the door, making its small bell ring and stopped, gesturing to Cas enter first. He smiled and shyly walked inside, hearing Dean’s footsteps behind him and the sound of the door against the doorframe. A lady with brown hair at her forty’s appeared from the kitchen with a polite smile that turned into a brighter one as she walked along the counter, followed by a younger girl.

"Dean! It's so nice to see you!" She greeted him gripping him into a tight hug. 

"Ellen, it's good to see you too. Much better than to see your grumpy old man." He joked and then he sent a 'Hello' to Jo. 

Ellen laughed, "Although you see him more often than you see us. Tell you what, one of these days you'll have dinner with us." 

"Yeah, sure."

Ellen looked at the dark-haired one,  "Oh, you're new -" She smiled and examined him. Cas could tell she was intriguedabout Dean’s company. Possibly because they were nothing alike.

"That's Castiel, from school." Jo explained emotionless. "Take a seat, guys; I'll take your orders."  

And so they did. Dean ordered the house specialty: the cheeseburger, and Cas followed Dean and asked the same with a coke. 

Cas looked around. They were in a small saloon. Dean was right, it wasn't fancy but it was welcoming. The counter had some stools in brown leather and behind the counter a shell full of those old whiskey bottles. The walls were dirt orange fading to light brown and the wooden floor was already worn out. Some tables     were spread  around the place, until a cleared area with a pool table and an old jukebox. He could also see some darts and two old gaming machines. Besides that it didn’t have much decorations like plants or paintings on the wall. The only thing it  had, was  a neon sign on a wall saying “Singer’s Roadhouse.”. It was playing 'Heaven' from Warrant as background music and the few clients were alone or chatting quietly.  

"So, you're friend of the owners?" Cas quizzed, absently looking at the small menu over the table. They were sitting at the south corner of the establishment.

"They're like my second family, actually. When I came here I knew nobody and... Well, you know how the new guys     are treated  at school. So one day things got heavy and Bobby helped me out - he took me out of a fight. He then gave me a job and one thing led to another. I became part of his family and Jo and I became best friends... Which helped me a lot at school as well." 

"Oh, that's nice." He gave a small smile and Dean smiled back, tapping the wooden surface with his fingers along the music, silently humming it, watching Cas looking outside the windows, the cars passing by at their normal speed and some people walking on the sidewalk with their heads down, facing the cold window, some talking on the phone or even chatting with someone else beside them.

Jo came with their orders. Dean noticed a silent grumbling from her but he said nothing. She didn't stay there, leaving right after delivering the cheeseburgers. 

They ate in silence. Cas once in a while looked at Dean and couldn't help a smile, amused by how satisfied Dean seemed     to be  every time he was taking a bite of his food. One of those times Cas could swear he heard a moan from Dean and it well... Did something down there.  

"So... “Dean tried to say, still chewing his food. "I gotta ask. Why spend your birthday with me? We're not that close. Hell, I don't even know if we're friends. "

"  Uhm  ...     I-  " Cas didn't know what to answer back. "I just wanted to spend the day with someone different -"  

"Different?" Dean frowned in confusion making his face look a lot cuter than usual. 

"Yeah... Different in a good way. I'm with my  _friends_  and family every day. I-I don't know, I kinda just wanted to spend this day with you." His face blushed a little and he shyly looked at Dean, who looked away but not quickly enough, letting Cas see his red cheeks. 

They kept in silence for a while, Dean trying to find something nice to answer back, while Castiel was playing with his straw in the coke. He took it to his mouth taking a long swig. 

"Well, I'm glad you consider me important enough     to be  part of this day, Cas." he commented and then returned to his burger.  

"You are." Cas didn't notice he said it out loud until he saw Dean choking a little. 

"What?" he coughed, not sure if he had heard it correctly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it well, because it could     be different  from what he thought he had heard. 

"Nothing." Cas lied looking away. Dean nodded, not giving to much of a talk about it and continued his burger, noticing that Cas had barely touched his. He shrugged and sighed, moaning when he tasted again the soft bread and took a swig oh his beer that he had convinced Jo to bring him.

The next few hours they talked about their past  and  about their life goals.  

Cas found out that Dean was a big fan of cars so he would probably open his own shop once he gets money for it, that is, after he gets money to put his little brother in college. He also got that Dean is allergic to cats and that he's afraid of planes, which made Cas laugh a little. 

“I had a cat when I was ten.” Cas commented, finally eating his food.

Dean looked at him, “What was his name?”

“Balls.” Cas said with his most serious expression.

Dean laughed, “Balls?” Cas nodded. “And did you… like Balls?” He asked holding a chuckle.

“You have no idea. One of my favorite things was to play with Balls.” Cas  sighed, resting his head on his palm, his arm held on the table by his elbow. 

Dean looked at him and laughed again, his eyes crinkling and his head fallen back, “Sorry. Dirty mind. My apologies” He laughed and Cas joined him.

“That’s why I never mention my cat called ‘Penis’” He said serious and Dean choked, slightly kicking Cas’ leg under the table, “I’m kidding Dean.” He said, looking worried at Dean. Dean lightly laughing and smiled at how cute Cas was.

In the other way he told Dean he wanted to help people in need so he would try to go to Africa do volunteering for some years and then create a charity institution, if he ever gets the founds to do something like that. He also told he's obsessed with P&J and that he doesn't like dentists. 

“Damn Cas… That’s very noble of you.” Dean commented impressed. Cas smiled at him and looked down at the table playing with some napkins.

Ellen came with two plates of pie, one of cherry and the other of blueberries, “Sorry kids, only had one of cherry. I hope you don’t mind.”

Dean nodded, “Don’t worry, El, pie is always pie!” He smirked, raising his fork like a wand.

Ellen laughed, “Ok, Dean, don’t get your pants in a twist!” She mocked and winked at Cas, patting him on his shoulder.

Castiel looked at his plate. He had the cherry one. Dean was looking at his, licking his lips but looked up at Cas, “What?” 

“Do you want the cherry one?” He asked. “I’m a bigger fan of blueberries and I got the impression you like this better.” Dean gave him a full smile and switched plates with him, and took a whole fork to his mouth wailing, shutting his eyes.

“Pie…”

“Get a room, you two.” Cas teased eating his own. Dean gave him a sly look and continued eating.

They kept in silence for a while and the Dean swallowed his last piece of pie and watched Cas still in the half of his, “But as I was saying, that’s very noble to want to help people like that, leaving everything behind.”

“It won’t be everything if you have nothing holding you here, is it?” He lowly said, almost in a whisper. Dean gave him an intrigued gaze. “Sometimes your family isn’t _family_ , sometimes a house isn’t _home._ Your place is where your heart feels good. I want to help people. That’s where my heart feels home: helping children, teaching them and giving them hope… Give _someone_ hope. That’s the meaning of life, to give someone hope, or we’ll just be shadows no one will notice.” He continued, his voice becoming sadder.

Dean only managed to give him a sympathetic look, although his hand almost moved to reach Cas’, “I’m sure you’ll give hope to a lot of people, Cas. You’re such a good person.” He smiled, seeing Cas shyly smiling back at him.

 

It was 8pm when Dean paid the bill and they went to the car. 

"Thank you, Dean. It was a very pleasant afternoon."

"I'm glad you liked it."

They both smiled at each other. Dean turned the engine on, "Do you wanna go home? 'Cause there's a place I'd like to show you..."

~

"This is a place I found when I moved town." Dean opened the door that lead to the roof of an abandoned building. From there they could see the entire town. 

"It's beautiful!" Cas gasped. In front of him was the entire town, the trees at the end forming a small forest. Then, the small buildings  were tucked  between some bigger ones in a strange pattern, that with the lights of the street showed the puzzle the town was at night; every block  connected  between each other and the lightened Windows between the dark ones made the form of a sheet of music. And, to top that, the town was reflected  by the water of the river, looking up at the moon and the few clouds swimming at their easy and slow pace at their own sheet of water, hiding and reviling some stars as they passed by. And there was the sound. It was so quiet there, the soft wind whispering melodic wails at their ears, embracing their bodies. 

"That's what I thought the first time I came here." He walked to the wall leaning against it. "Everytime I need to think... Everytime I don't feel fit in, I come here. It's quiet and... I like it in here. It's my place, ya know?"  

Cas joined him, his back turned against the town, holding his hands on the top of the Wall, sitting on top of it, a twitchy feeling in his stomach like if he was about to fall off the building, "But if it is your place, why did you bring me here, Dean?"

Dean turned around facing now the view, "Well," he shrugged "it's your birthday and you seem a person who likes to think..." he put his hands inside his pockets. "I don't know, you needed a birthday present so here it is. If I am 'important' for you, then I must give you, or share with you, something important, right?" 

"I-Thank you! That's very kind of you." Dean nodded. 

Cas stared at the landscape for a while and gazed Dean who was looking at the town but with a distant look. He seemed sad, his eyes glittered but no tear came out. The dark-haired boy saw him lick his lip and ruffle his blonde hair before staring again at the town beneath him. He was thinking about something else.  

Cas kept looking at him. How the moonlight shaped his cheeks and hid his freckles. How his eyelashes seemed bigger and how his blinking was naturally soft and slow. How his eyes, even though seemed darker, were absorbing the town he probably had seen a thousand times already, but still he seemed so pleased to see it from there. How he played with his silver ring while doing all that. 

Dean looked at him. The way his lips     were made  two cute dimples, and he swallowed. He gave Cas a half-smile, “What?” 

Cas blinked, coughing, “Nothing. I was just lost on my thoughts.”

This time it was Dean staring at him: the way his legs     were crossed  , the way his shirt had his top button loosed. The way Cas’ shaped were lightly parted and the way the moonlight brightened his eyes, “Yeah… I guess this place does that to people.” He said looking back at the town. 

As the night grew the air started becoming cooler and the two boys decided it was time to go home. Dean gave Cas a ride home and left, only saying a 'Good night' as goodbye.

Cas opened the front door smiling. It was a nice day. Being with Dean was good. 

"Where's Castiel?" He heard his mother ask with an impatient voice.  

"He's with a friend. " Anna answered annoyed. By the tone of her voice Cas could only assume she'd been repeating that same answer countless times. 

"What kind of friend?" This time it was Lucifer. 

"Are you deaf?! A friend. Gosh... Let him be happy at least on his God damn birthday!"

"I don't care. If that kid makes us move town again, I kill him... "

"Oh really? Why? You have something holding you here? I mean, besides your drug dealer thing?" She yelled and Cas heard a loud smack, followed by Mrs. Novak yelling at Lucifer. 

"You bitch! Watch your mouth when talking to me!" Lucifer angrily screamed at his sister. Cas started approaching the kitchen. "First I have to deal with a queer, now I have to deal with ya too?" 

"Lucifer, that's enough!" Mrs. Novak shouted noticing Castiel at the kitchen door. Anna had her face wet and one hand against her cheek, Lucifer had hit her on the face.  

"I'm home." Cas said monotonously. 

"Good. Now you can answer some of my questions."

"Put them on a paper, I'll answer them later. Now I'm gonna go upstairs. Anna's coming with me." It was the first time he stood up against Lucifer like that. 

Cas gripped one of Anna's arms and turned around, heading to his room. 

"Are you okay?" He sat her on his bed. 

"I'm fine.     I-  we had a lot of arguments before but he never hit me... " 

"I know, sis." Cas hugged her. She was trying to protect him and she got snapped. "Thank you." 

"Oh Cas, shut up." she pulled herself away from Cas. "Now tell me, how did it go with Dean?" 

Cas briefly told Anna his day, what they talked about and the place Dean showed him. 

"I guess this was worth it, then." She pointed at her face trying to smile. "Happy birthday, Cas. I made you a cake but it's downstairs and --" 

"Leave it. You already made enough for me today, An."

 

[Dean]

 

When Dean arrived home Sam was already eating and, for his relief, John wasn't home. He sat on the couch and silently took his shoes off and lied down watching TV. 

"  You've been working  until now?" Sam asked, preparing something to his brother.  

"Uh? No. I was... On a date. No, not a date... I don't know what to call it."

"With Tessa?"

"Nah. We broke up, yesterday." He noticed his brother preparing a meal for him. "I'm not hungry, Sammy. I already ate." He said with a smile. 

He  _was_ hungry, but John wasn't home and Dean would only get his salary next week and the money of that month was already gone so they would need to survive the next days with what they had at the moment at home. 

"Okay. Wasn't dad suppose     to be  already home?" 

"He left for beers... Or so did his note said."

"That was two days ago, Dean."

He sighed, "I know, Sammy. But what can I do? I called him yesterday and he didn't pick up. You know how he is... Just give him time." 

"Give him time?! Dean, all we do is give him time. You always say that... " Sam was now annoyed and upset. 

"Look it at this way: as long as he's not home, we have some freedom. Enjoy while it lasts." 

He tried to look calm, but he wasn't. He hadn't call his dad once. He called him at least a dozen times. The last time John had left for  _'beers'_ it took one week for him to come back, all beaten up. But like he said, what could he do? His job was to watch out for Sam, not John, although he always tried to do both.

 

 

 

~ _19th october 2014~_

 

[Castiel]

 

Cas woke up with the sound of things breaking downstairs. Scared, he dressed a t-shirt, not to look too naked and ran towards the sound.

He got there in time to see Michael completely pissed off, holding Lucifer against the wall, the younger one bleeding from his nose.

Anna was in the middle of the room, begging at Michael to calm down.

"We're a family, Lucifer! You don't get the right to touch Anna or anyone else, you hear me?" He tossed him to the floor.

"It's funny, your actions show exactly the opposite, Mikey." Lucifer replied getting to his feet. Michael stood still not answering his brother.

The blonde one walked back to his room, passing next to Cas.

"See, this is all your fault, Cassie. You ruined this family." He whispered at him, looking back at the other two siblings. "Don't worry, you'll have the payback." He laughed, tilting his head as he walked to the stairs.

Gabriel then showed up, only on his pants, still half asleep.

"Can you for one God damn time be quiet at morning? People are trying to sleep, ya know?"

"Sorry." The three responded at the same time.

"This family, I swear... " He grumbled while returning to his room.

 

[Dean]

 

Dean was already at work. And surprise, surprise, he was late.

He left Sam at Charlie's, some geek friend of Sam's. They liked to play videogames together or something like that. Dean didn't really know or care.

The Harley Davidson was already ready. It was just some maintenance issues.

He was finishing cleaning it when Michael showed up to see how things were.

"She's ready to go, sir." Dean gave one last clean before giving some steps back to see how it was.

"She looks good, at least. Ten points for you."

Dean smiled, proud of his work. Bobby saw the Novak and approached them.

"I told you he was good."

"Let me ride her first, Mr. Singer." Michael said still half reticent.

"Oh please. Humor us."

Michael sat on his bike, feeling it. Soon he took off, giving a couple of rounds across the block, returning with a bright smile on his face.

"I don't remember having her so sharp. Ten more points for you, boy!" He praised Dean, shaking his hand. "Is that your car?" He pointed at the Impala parked at the entrance.

"My dad's. But I'm aiming to get her."

"Good taste. Dean, is that right?"

"Yes, sir."

"You should come by my house, one of these days. We have a Camaro, maybe you'd like take a look, see what's wrong... "

' _Going at Cas' place? Sounds good.'_

"I'd like that."

"When are you free?"

Dean looked at Bobby.

"You have the rest of the day off, son. Don't look at me."

"I'm free now, I guess."

 

~

 

"You want something to drink?" Michael offered, opening the fridge.

"No, thank you." He gazed around, examining the place.

He saw some broken glasses around the floor at the living room.

"Don't mind that!" Michael remarked noticing Dean looking at the glasses. "Just a little argument this morning."

' _Little'_

Anna appeared widening at Dean's presence. She grinned turning around, running upstairs.

"That's Anna." Michael said, not knowing Dean already knew part of his family, besides Castiel. "No idea why she ran away."

A few seconds later Cas got downstairs and entered the kitchen and entered the kitchen, scratching his neck and combing his hair; his pajamas’ pants hanging at the end of his hips and the t-shirt he had not long enough so when he stretched his arms up a small part of his bottom-belly skin was revealed. He froze when he saw Dean sitting on a stool on the counter. Anna had just told him to get downstairs,  

"Dean!"

"Hey, Cas." Dean greeted smiling.

"So, I'll be at the garage. Go meet me there when you're ready." Michael informed leaving the house.

"What are you doing here? I didn't know you knew my brother." He asked, opening the fridge and taking a liquid yogurt out, leaning against the counter. He looked at the glasses on the floor and made a mental note to clean that up later.

"I fixed his Harley... And now I'm here to fix your Camaro."

"Oh... " Dean noticed a tone of disappointment in Cas' voice. He frowned. "Hm- it's good to know we'll have our car fixed."

"Yeah." Their eyes met.  _'Oh Gosh, those freaking eyes.'_ "So - Ahm-- I gotta go... Fix... The car." He gestured to the door, climbing off the stool and Cas nodded at him, continuing to drink his yogurt.

 

[Castiel]

 

He waited for Dean to leave and slowly went to grab a broom and a shovel to clean the living room. He then began to do the dishes. It was 2:51pm and his mom would get mad if she got the kitchen at that state.

Anna quickly joined him.

"So...?" She elbowed him on his rib.

"He's here for the car."

"What?"

"To fix the Camaro... Not for me. Like I said: expectations too high."

Anna's eyes widened and she let go a moan.

"Nooo Cas, don't see it that way... If he's here to fix the Camaro it's a good thing for you." Her voice was strange. "That old thing is  _so_ dirty. He'll get dirty too and sweaty and a man covered with oil is always hotter." She was making a pervy face. "And being dirty makes you to take a shower and he's at our house..."

"God, you're such a creep." Cas widened his eyes scared with his sister's facial expression.

"Shh, I'm on your side, remember?"

Cas shrugged and kept washing the dishes with the company of his sister.

 

~

 

"This will get better, I'm sure! We'll have a totally S _tucky_ moment, I know that. Look. LOOK at Captain's face, he's so -"

Cas sighed, he didn't understand all the shipping between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, aka Stucky.

"So I'll ask Bobby some of the pieces needed and in a week it should be working. You'll have to pay the pieces but the rest is on me." The two entered the house completely tired.

"I'll pay you too, Winchester."

"There's no need too."

"I'll pay you and that's it!"

"Look at  _him_!" Anna whispered poking Cas on his arm. "I told you he'd get dirty." Cas laughed. "Hey guys!" She shouted getting up of the couch. "Jeez, look at you Dean..."

Dean downed his head. He was with his overall and his face had some oil and his forehead was wet. His hair was all messed up and his neck was sweaty.

"Yeah, I should be going... " He said, ashamed by his appearance.

" Please, don't." She said approaching him. "Look, take a shower, Cas can get you something to dress and stay here and have dinner with us. It's the least we can do." She glanced at Michael during the last part.

"Oh no, I don't want to dis--"

"I won't take a 'no' as an answer." She shook her head grabbing his arm. "Cas can show you the bathroom upstairs and get you some clean clothes." She stared at Cas, who slowly got up a little lost.

"Hm--ok. Thank you (?) "

They started heading upstairs in silence. Cas was in the front, leading Dean through the hall. He noticed Dean looking at some pictures on the wall, smiling at a few of them.

"You can use my bathroom. No one will bother you there... Big family and all... " He pointed to the ajar door, the two already in Cas' room. "I'll get you something to wear later..."

Dean nodded and muttered a 'thank you', leaving Cas and going to the bathroom. Cas's eyes followed Dean's ass. He sure was hot.

He opened his wardrobe and started looking for something that could  _actually_ fit Dean. Cas wasn't lanky but he didn't have the same body as Dean.

He grabbed his largest t-shirt and some 'gym-pants'  and laid them at the bed, leaving then the room.

It was like 15 minutes since Dean went to shower when Cas heard him call.

"Yes?" He opened the door and sneaked in.

Dean was in the middle of his room, shirtless. Cas hold his breath not to look... Gay or anything.

But holy mother of Chuck if that wasn't a sight of Paradise.

"It doesn't fit!" Dean moaned embarrassed, holding the t-shirt on his hands. "And the pants are a little too tight." He moved his legs, strolling around, and Cas saw his outlined butt in the pants.

"O-oh... " He tried to say but it came out like a moan. He cuffed, landing his hand on his neck. "S-sorry, I'll see if Michael has something." He said looking back to Dean's chest, mentally admiring his abs and his toned skin.

"Thank you." Dean replied smiling and sitting on the bottom of the bed, his large shoulders relaxed and his wet dark blonde hair leaving some drops slip down his back.   
 _'Oh God, I'm gonna die tonight... '_  he thought heading to Michael's room. There was no way it would end up well. Dean was half naked at his room, Cas was trying not to have a boner at his hardest. Anna was doing everything to put them two together, Michael didn't know Cas was gay - he was the only one on the family not knowing. He was in Iraq when the bomb exploded - but he would find out pretty quickly if Dean continued to look so  _'delicious'._ And yeah, Cas was about to do some gay thing and it would destroy everything with Dean and  _'I'm gonna die tonight.'_

 

[Dean]

 

"So, Dean, you live here longer than us, tell me. You like this town?" Mrs. Novak asked looking at their guest.

They were all sat at the dinner table, already eating. Dean was between Cas and Lucifer and at his front was Anna followed by Michael. Gabriel was on the other chair next to Anna and Mrs. Novak was on the head of the table.

"It has its pros and cons like any other place. But it's an okay town."

She smiled at him, remaining now in silence.

"You know, I can't believe I'm the only one in here that doesn't know Dean." Lucifer commented eating some rice. "You have a hell of a reputation, dude." He flattered him.

"Well, I heard about you too, Lucifer... About your  _business."_ He remarked uninterested. "I guess you have a reputation of your own too."

Lucifer grumbled something to himself and looked at his mother who was gazing at him.

"Dean, I heard you have a girlfriend?" Anna questioned with an enigmatic look.

"Oh Anna, give him a break. We already understood you're interested. Don't scare the kid." Michael tossed impatient.

"It isn't for me, you idiot. I'm helping  _someone!"_

And  _that_ got Lucifer's attention. He stared at the group, eyes jumping from one to another, listening to the conversation very carefully.

"It's okay." Dean laughed. "And no... Not anymore."

"What happened?" Cas couldn't help asking.

"Long story. I guess I wasn't the right person to her."

"I see... " Anna's voice was now accusing. Cas knew she already was imagining things.

"I assume you're the _friend_  Cas was with, yesterday?" Lucifer hinted. Dean noticed a sigh coming from Anna and Cas rummage uncomfortable on the chair.

"And what if I was?" He asked back in a defensive way.

Lucifer laughed out loud, "I don't know if you know, but little Cassie here is --"

"That's enough!" Anna shouted interrupting Lucifer.

Dean looked at Cas who was staring at his plate, clenching his teeth, his eyes glittered.

"Why do you have to spoil everything? It was such a nice dinner 'til you opened your mouth." Anna continued shaking her head. She didn't interrupt her brother because of Dean, not only. Michael was there too.

Dean kept in silence, so did the rest of the Novaks.

They ate in silence and in the end Cas went to his room without saying a word. It was Anna that took Dean to his car.

"So... What happened back there?" Dean finally grew a pair and asked.

"Oh it was nothing... Don't mind Lucifer, he likes to spoil everything." She scratched her head, forming a crooked smile.

"Hm, well, tell Cas I'm waiting for him tomorrow at Biology class." He then turned around to his car, but a hand stopped him. "What?" He looked back at her.

She eyed him, "You  _like_  him, don't you?"

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He moved his shoulders embarrassed and looked at his feet in silence.

She smiled, "Good night, Dean. I'll tell Cas what you asked."

 

 

_~20th october 2014~_

 

 

Their biology class went fast and the group, this time with the company of Alastair and Norman, finished the project. Dean and Cas shared a few words and some discrete gazes at each other.

They after had English, the only class they weren't sitting side by side. Cas was next to some girl he didn't know her name and Dean was next to Jo. Which was good, he needed to talk to her.

 

 

[Dean]

 

"Psst, Jo."

She glanced at him, "What?"

"Are you mad at me? 'Cause you seemed a little upset at your mom's... "

"Tessa told me you two broke up. Of course I'm mad!" She kept her voice down, not to drag too much attention.

"What did she tell you?" He asked with his voice shaking a little.

"She just said you're an asshole and that you broke up." She rolled her eyes. "But what upset me the most was that  _you_  didn't tell me. We used to tell each other everything."

"Sorry, cuz, it happened too fast and I totally forgot."

 

 

~

 

 

"Mind if I join you?" The Winchester asked at Cas' group with a smile on his face. Kevin gasped, it was the first time a 'popular' person wanted to seat at his table.

"Yeah, sure, Dean." Gabriel gave in a free seat next to Cas.

He looked at the group. They were chatting about series and games. Sam would've liked to be there.

He then looked back at the football team and saw some of his teammates staring at him in confusion. He rolled his eyes and rejoined the conversation.

"Oh, Anna, asked me to tell you something." Gabriel turned at Dean. " _Go get him, cowboy."_ He whispered at his ear. Dean looked at him a little lost. "Her words, not mine." He winked and softly pointed at Cas with his head, shouldering Dean with his shoulder. "I say: what are you waiting for, dude?"

Dean chuckled, "That obvious, huh?"

The others were so distracted they didn't notice Dean's conversation with Gabriel. After lunch they went to classes. Dean replayed Gabe's words on his head over and over again.

After school he decided to go to the roof. He needed to think about Cas, about what he should do. He thought Cas was cute and attractive. He was starting to believe he liked him but he didn't feel ready to have a serious relationship with a boy. He knew he wasn't 100% straight but still... It was a big step to decide showing it to the rest of the school, to the rest of the town.

He took his guitar out of the trunk. He was a modest player, not amazing but good enough to play without people yelling at him to stop.

He sat on the floor, leaning against the roof wall; the cold wind refreshing his thoughts, guitar on hands and he soon started playing 'Stairway to Heaven', one of his favorite songs, humming the lyrics along.

"You're good." A voice interrupted him. He opened the eyes, shuddering a little, seeing Cas. "Sorry, I didn't intent to scare you." He apologized sitting next to him, crossing his legs.

"Oh--It's fine. I was just-- Nevermind. What are you doing here?" Dean quizzed, shifting to look straight at the other teen, seeing his dark hair even more messy than usual.

"I wanted to be alone... And this seemed to be a good place to come." He shrugged, sighing.

"I can leave if you want me to." Dean suggested.

"No, stay." Cas quickly answered. "You can keep playing, I was enjoying." He smiled, “Go on. Play something. I mean, if you don’t mind playing with me here.”

Dean thought a little about what he would play next and when he found a good one he started.

 

". _.. Hey Jude,_  
 _Don't make it bad_  
 _Take a sad song_  
 _And make it better_  
 _Remember to let her into your heart_  
 _Then you can start to make it better_

 

_Hey Jude,_   
_Don't be afraid_  
 _ You were made to _  
_Go out and get her_  
 _The minute you let her under your skin_  
 _Then you begin to make it better_

 

_And anytime you feel the pain_   
_Hey Jude, refrain_  
 _Don't carry the world upon your shoulders_  
 _Well, you know that it's fool who plays it cool_  
 _By making his world a little colder_

_ Nanananana nananana... _ "

 

"It's a nice song..."

Dean nodded,  "My mom used to sing it to me as a lullaby, back when she was alive."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." They kept in silence for a while.

Cas closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall, hugging his knees.

Dean found it to be the loveliest view ever. He felt compelled to hug him, kiss him. Cas was the most beautiful person, either on the outside and inside, Dean had ever known.

 

_I can’t fight this feeling any longer_

_And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow_

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

 

The song began to play on his head and he felt each word as a describer of his life at that moment.

 

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_

_I said there is no reason for my fear_

_'Cause I feel so secure when we're together_

_You give my life direction_

_You make everything so clear_

 

Dean stopped thinking. He just went ahead and kissed Cas. Softly at first, feeling his lips against Cas' and he wanted more. He  _needed_ more.

 

_ And even as I wander_

_I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window_

_On a cold, dark winter's night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

 

He acted on his gut, not knowing how Cas would react. The moment their lips touched Cas stood still but then kissed back. Dean felt relieved and laid his hand on his cheek, opening his mouth to let their tongues discover each other. Cas' breath was like cinnamon and Dean wanted more. They were now kissing passionately only separating to breathe, after long seconds of discovery and freedom.

"So--" Dean started but Cas put a finger on Dean's lips.

"Shut up."

 

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars, forever_

 

_'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_And if I have to crawl upon the floor_

_Come crushing through your door_

_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

 

They kissed again. Now earnestly like if there was no tomorrow. Cas ran his hand through Dean's hair, ending on the neck. Dean moaned and bit Cas' bottom lip making the dark-haired boy smile. They stared at each other eyes and Cas stole one more small kiss, but Dean didn't have enough. He grabbed Cas by his collar and pulled him closer, strongly kissing him.

 

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

_ I've been running round in circles in my mind _

_And it always seems that I'm following you, girl_

_'Cause you take me to the places_

_That alone I'd never find_

 

He never felt like that before, wanting to kiss a person so badly, forever. To have Cas' tongue tangled with his, dancing so coordinated, to feel his soft lips touching his, to feel his breath, to breathe him, to feel his heat.

It took them a while to finally get separated. Cas widened realizing what had just happened and he got worried but when he looked at Dean, he was smiling. Truly smiling.

They said nothing. Cas leaned his head on Dean's shoulder and Dean caught his guitar and played some random chords while Cas just listened in silence.

 

 

[Sam]

 

Sam was walking home alone after another school day. He had spent his day from one place to another, either doing a project group work at the library or staying away from Crowley's sight.

He froze looking at his porch, seeing Ruby sitting there, waiting for his arrival.

"I told you we would talk today. It wasn't at school, it's here then."

"Look Ruby, I--"

"No. Let me say this first. I'm not a stalker, okay? And I'm not needy. We just kissed and that's it."

"Exactly. It was a kiss, it shouldn't have happened."

"I never said it shouldn't have happened. You really are a good kisser."

"I'm dating Jess, ok? I like  _her._ You're just a friend."

"Oh, well, you kissed back." She smiled.

"I-I know..." He sighed. "It was a mistake..."

"It doesn't matter. Like I said I'm not needy and my job is done."

"Your job is done?" Sam frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"You'll find out soon, sweetie." She got up and got down of the porch laying her hand on his shoulder. "I may have forgotten to tell you that I'm Crowley's bestie." She kissed him on the cheek and left.

 

[Castiel]

 

When Cas arrived home it was almost dinner time. He went upstairs, to his room and he laid down on his bed thinking about his day: his afternoon, to be precise.

Dean Winchester kissed him! He freaking kissed him and it felt so right, so perfect.

He grinned and after some minutes of daydreaming he got up and went to Anna's room.

"Come in."

"Hey, sis." He smiled. He must have been looking like an idiot with that smile on his face.

"Look at you, all smiley today. What happened?"

Cas shut the door, "We kissed."

"No way!"

"Yep!"

She jumped in excitement, squealing.

"Oh my sweet lord, that's  _frawesome_!"

Cas laughed with Anna's Annarism. 'Frawesome' was her way to say 'Freaking awesome', like 'Frantastic' or 'coolsome'. She liked to invent her own words.

 

 

~ _22nd October 2014~_

 

 

Soon Crowley told everyone about Sam and Ruby's kiss. He had a phone to prove it. How did he have a freaking picture of it was a mystery to Sam.

Sam quickly figure that Ruby just made fun of him, under Crowley's orders. Jessica didn't like the idea of her boyfriend kissing another girl so she broke up with him.

Sam was now lunching alone. He used to be with Jessica but... Well, not anymore. He was alone, at least until Crowley joined him.

"Moose. How's your lunch? Looks delicious... "

"Why, you want some... Fat ass?" he hissed at the short bully.

"Now that you ask, I might want." He grabbed half of his P&B sandwich. Sam growled in anger. Crowley choked. "Who did this? It's amazing. I think I'm gonna take the rest..." He tried to take the rest but Sam snapped his hand down.

"Piss off! I'm not in the mood, Crowley." He said saving the rest of his sandwich in his schoolbag.

"Oh right, Ruby! She's pretty, isn't she?" He looked at her leaning against a tree. "I knew she could switch the neurons of your little brain like this" He snapped his fingers, laughing.

"She didn't." He sighed annoyed. " _She_ kissed me."

" _You_ kissed back... Her words not mine."

"I don't care. I don't like her." He packed his bag and got up. Crowley followed him.

"I don't give a rat's ass about that! You're my toy, Winchester. My poppet. And you can't do a thing about that. All you can do is run... Run... Run. You're a disaster, you creep!"

Sam turned at Crowley and without thinking jumped on him, punching him. Crowley was stronger than the younger Winchester and quickly overpowered him, punching him and getting upright and putting one foot on Sam's throat, pressing it. Sam scratched Crowley's leg to free himself but he wasn't strong enough.

"You think you can beat  _me?_ Please... You fight like a girl, your brother must be ashamed of having a piece of shit like you as a brother." He growled, pulling himself away from Sam.

Some people were watching the scene and a teacher was now calling Crowley to his office.


	6. Scars And Troubles In Paradise

_~30 october 2014~_

 

 

[Dean]

 

He cleaned his forehead glancing the clock hanging on the wall. 5:53pm.

' _Thank God!'_

He went to his locker and packed his belongings, heading then home.

His father was missing for almost two weeks. The had already reported the disappearance to the local police and they said they'd keep the two boys posted. He was terrified but he never let Sam see that part of him. He just played cool, pretending to feel awesome and well... Being Dean.

He got home at 6:15pm. He'd need to take a shower and make Sam something to eat before going to his date with Cas. An  _actual_ date.

After their kiss they kept talking, sharing life experiences and going to the roof together for hours. They were just  _friends_ but Dean was slowly feeling more or less eager to take the next step.

Proof of that was that Dean was going to take Cas to the park. There was going to be a band playing at one terrace over there so Dean thought it would be a nice place for a first official date.

It was around 9pm when they sat at one free table and ordered a couple of cokes. The place was full but they didn't see anyone from school. It calmed Dean down a little bit.

Dean was with some jeans and a green shirt, highlighting the apple green of his eyes and Cas was with some black jeans and a gray sweater.

It was the end of october but the weather was good, like at the mid-september's.

"This is a nice place." Castiel commented glancing over the park.

"I knew you'd like it." He replied, taking a gulp of his coke. He wished he was drinking a beer.

"Thank you." The blue-eyed boy thanked after staring at the dirt blonde teen for a few long seconds.

"For what?" Dean frowned.

"For being here... For saving me back at Lil's... For everything."

"Oh shut it. You don't need to thank me, Cas... I just did what anyone would." He blushed looking at his drink.

"That's not true... "

They listened to the group a little while and then Dean invited Cas for a walk around the lake.

They walked close but without touching and in silence until Dean tucked his arm around Cas' shoulders. Cas smiled.

"You know I like you, right?" Dean asked turning at Cas, making the two of them to stop moving. "I mean... I-- We kissed and ever since I--"

"I know." Cas interrupted him. "You're important to me, Dean. And that kiss, it was... Special. You're special. I--I need you." Cas confessed ruffling his messy hair.

Dean licked his lips and looked around before leaning his forehead on Cas', "And I need you!" He breathed out and kissed Cas passionately, slowly, feeling the moment.

They both were waiting for that moment since ever. Not since the roof scene, but since they got to know each other.

Dean widely smiled. He had never enjoyed kissing a person like he did with Cas. They were so involved, coordinated, alive. He would never get tired of that boy, would never get tired of his scent, his presence, his smile.

He was finally free.

Cas groaned running his hands through Dean's hair. It was so soft, like Dean's lips. Cas loved those perfect lips.

He opened his mouth to let Dean's tongue discover his, dancing together. He felt Dean's cold hand touching his warm back and it gave him chills up and down his spine.

They only separated from the kiss for oxygen reasons. Some people were passing by and they saw a kid gesturing at them as he walked along the sidewalk with his mother. It made them laugh.

Cas hugged Dean and pressed a quick kiss on his neck. Dean shivered a little, moaning.

"Ah-ha! I guess I found one of your turn on spots. " He smirked giving him one more kiss. Dean shivered once again.

"Please stop..." He begged. "This ain't a good place for you to do that." Dean joked trying to get free of Cas' kisses on his neck.

He didn't mind them. The problem was that the rest of his body didn't mind them either.

They tangled their hands and walked to a bench not too far from the lake. They kept in silence, listening to the group still playing in the distance, the reflexion of the moon on the water, the laughs of the people chatting happily. They just stood there with Cas' head leaning on Dean's shoulder while playing with Dean's fingers.

"I've been so scared for so long... Scared that I couldn't be myself anymore." Cas said, sighing.

Dean understood Cas. He too was scared. But he was scared now, scared because he was living something completely new.

He squeezed Cas' hand, "You don't need to be scared, never again. You're safe with me, okay? I'll always protect you. No matter what."

"That's a hard promise to keep, Dean." Cas looked up at him suspicious.

"Trust me, I don't do promises I can't keep." He too looked at the boy next to him. "Do you trust me?"

"Always."

They kissed.

"Good. 'Cause I don't... " He joked, smirking. " People say I'm somewhat crazy."

"I don't care about that. Where's the fun of being normal, right?" Cas answered playing with the bottoms of the blonde' s shirt.

It was around 11:45pm when Dean parked in front of Cas' house. They were smiling and changing looks.

"So... See you then?" Dean asked tilting his head to reach Cas'.

"Yeah, I hope so." He smiled and followed Dean to a gentle kiss. "Good night."

" 'Night."

 

~

 

Dean entered school with a bright smile on his face. He was happy and thinking about Cas. His life could be being a complete disaster with his father missing and the lack of money to survive, but the idea of having Cas in his life was making it much easier. 

He went to his locker, grabbing his books to his first class of the day.

Some girls passed by him laughing. Then some boys. He kept on his business. And then he saw Castiel walking into the school followed by his older brother Gabriel. He smiled and stared at him like a 14-year-old girl does.

"Dude!" Joshua called him, shutting his locker calling Dean back to earth.

"What?" He replied, rudely even though not meaning it so harsh.

"Do you have any idea of what people are saying about you?"

 

[Castiel]

 

He arrived school and headed to his class not stopping to chat with his friends. He was thrilled, excited and he was a math nerd so thrilled + math = perfect combination.

He sat on his seat and opened his book. By the corner of the eye he saw a red-haired girl approaching him.

"Hey. You're Cassi... Castiel, right?"

Cas looked at her red lipstick, "Yeah..."

"You know... I have a friend from Pontiac. You must know her. Her name's Naomi...?"

' _Great, my cousin, aka the person that ruined my life at my last school... '_

"What about her?" He asked rolling his eyes, starting to get impatient and anxious.

"Oh nothing. We've been chatting a lot lately. And I told her about the new kid, which is you btw, and hot damned the  _things_  she told me..."

Cas stared at her, the fear growing on him, "Are you done?"

"One more thing... Your last night thing with Dean was so cute to watch. I almost teared up and then puked a little." She laughed, showing her amazingly white teeth. She dinged over him. "This school ain't for people like you, sweet  _Cassie_..."

Cas remained staring at her but now in panic. She eyed him and laughed again at the scared teen.

"Do you mind, Abby?" Dean interrupted, stopping next to her, not able to get to his seat. His facial expression was cold and rough.

Something wasn't right.

"Oh, sure thing, Deannie." She mocked giving him passage. "Cassie and Deannie, how cute." She laughed gazing them.

"If you keep it up, your Abaddon will turn to Abaddead real quick, bitch." He threatened her still on his foot with his chin clenched. 

"What? You'll throw me your high heels? Please... " She turned around and went to her seat.

"What's going on?" Cas asked now looking at Dean.

"We gotta talk."

 

~

 

The two boys were now in some empty class during the lunch break.

Cas was sitting on the top of one desk while Dean was pacing right, and left, and then right again, endlessly, nervously.

"Dean, talk to me. What's happening?" He was getting worried.

"I--I got drunk during a party and I told Tessa I had a thing with a guy a few months ago. Nothing serious. One night shit. And now, that  _slut_  told Alastair who told the rest of the school... So I'm a  _fag_  now, apparently."

"Dean--"

"I didn't mean it that way. I like you, Cas, okay? It's just... Gosh I don't know what to do, I was never on a situation like this before, ya know?"

"I know how you're feeling." Dean stopped and looked at Cas. "Back at Pontiac, people found out about me and they mocked me, called me things I can't even--" He cleared his throat. "It's okay, Dean. We can handle it. If they know about us, let them kn--"

" 'If they know about us'?" Dean quoted. "No! This shit is just about me, okay? They said nothing about you."

"What about Abaddon?"

"What about her?"

"She knows about me. She knows about  _us."_

"That's what you were talking about at the beginning of Math's class?"

Castiel nodded, "I--We need to stay cool, Dean."

Dean nodded in disagreement, "No, Cas, no. I know how these people are and I promised you I'd protect you, not throw you into the lion's cage." He leaned against the teacher's desk. "We'll keep our thing to ourselves. I'll talk to Abaddon, convince her to keep her mouth shut."

"' _Thing'_?" Cas asked mad. Dean sighed in frustration. "Okay, okay... But how will you convince her?"

"I'll do what's necessary." He shrugged not looking at Cas.

Cas realized Dean wasn't dealing very well. He was just like Castiel was at his first time: panicking. Well, Cas was a little more extreme.

"We should go. I didn't lunch, yet." Cas said looking at his watch.

"You go first." Dean answered.

Cas nodded and approached Dean to kiss him but he only was able to kiss him on the cheek.

 

[Dean]

 

"We need to talk." He stopped in front of Abaddon at the middle of the cafeteria.

"Excuse me?" She frowned looking at her minions.

"We need to talk. Now!" He pulled her out of the cafeteria by one arm to another empty room.

She freed herself abruptly, "What do you want, Dean?"

"You'll keep your mouth shut, you hear me?" He commanded serious.

"Or what?"

"Look, you hate me, fine! You may have your reasons for that, I don't care! But don't take this on Cas..." He was now begging.

"You're right. I do hate you, Winchester. You know why?" Dean eyed her. He knew the answer already. "Because you used me! I liked you and you played me!"

"Ok, we had a thing, centuries ago... Get over it!" He replied annoyed.

"Maybe I don't want to. I wanted you and Abaddon gets what she wants."

Dean crossed his arms, "Please. Cas doesn't deserve to suffer. You can say whatever you want about me but don't mention his name."

She laughed, "You're not listening to me, Dean." He frowned in confusion. "I'll keep my mouth shut  _if_ you're mine..."

"I don't like you, Abaddon!" He shouted slowly.

"Like if you need to like a person to date her... You want your love to be safe or what?" She asked rolling her eyes in annoyance. 

"Even if I accept... The whole school thinks I'm gay."

"Because of a  _rumor_  Tessa and Alastair spread. Yes, I know. C'mon, you should know me better, sunshine! I just need to go out there and do my thing:  _oh do you really believe in what Tessa said? She couldn't accept that Dean was way too good for her, so she just created this stupid lie. I can assure you that my Dean isn't a fag! "_  she exemplified. "And  _BOOM,_  no more rumor." She stepped closer to him, tilting her head.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I hate you. Because I hate that Tessa bitch. Because I hate Cas and all his ' _I'm too sweet'_ look. But especially because as long as you're not with the other little fag you will never be happy, and that's exactly what I want. I want you to suffer. Like you made me suffer when you left me for that ugly skank." She shot poking him at his chest. "What's going to be?" He rubbed his forehead and clenched his teeth. "Think about it. I'll give you a couple of days to decide."

 

 

~1st november 2014~

 

 

[Dean]

 

He sat on the floor looking at Cas who was laying down on the roof's floor. He was supposed to be at work but he couldn't stop thinking about the boy in front of him.

The thought of destroying something that didn't even started was bugging him. He liked Cas and they were a couple (?). At least Dean thought they were a couple now and he didn't want to give up on him, to let him down. But he also knew Abaddon and he was sure she would talk if he didn't accept her terms. But he couldn't do that to Cas. He couldn't leave the boy he loved. They would be together 'til the end of the line.

But was he ready for something like that?

He sighed. He couldn't get tired of seeing Cas so peaceful, so calm.

He joined him and Cas opened his eyes, staring at Dean's.

"Hey."

"Hey." They kissed. "You okay?" Dean asked concerned.

"I am. Just a little worried. That's all."

"I'm worried too." Dean confessed.

"You talked to her?" He asked getting to a sitting position.

"I'm working on it." Cas nodded. "Come here." He pulled him closer, making him lie on top of him.

Cas laughed, "Where have you been all my life?"

"Waiting for you." He raised his head to steal a kiss from Cas.

Cas hold himself by his forearms against the ground. Their legs were intertwined and Dean's hands were on Cas' back and cheek.

"I want you." Dean whispered smiling. "All of you."

Cas kissed him and bit his lip, moving then to his neck. Dean moaned.

"Cas... "

He didn't stop. He pressed his soft lips against Dean's skin, sucking it a little.

instinctively, Dean grabbed Cas and switched positions, being he now on top.

"You shouldn't have done that!" He smirked, kissing him firmly.

Cas giggled and began to unbutton Dean's plaid shirt, taking it off. Dean followed him and did the same to Cas, leaving him shirtless.

He passed his fingers across Cas' chest making him crypt by Dean's touch. The blonde one smiled and kissed Cas' body all the way from his neck to the beginning of his jeans. He could hear Cas heavy breathing and feel his hands pulling his hair.

Dean looked up at his boyfriend who was looking back at him. He was so beautiful. He approached Cas's skin right above his belt and gave him a small bite that made Cas moan.

He smiled proudly. He then put a hand on Cas' pants to undress them and absently glanced at Cas' arms and saw some scars.

His face got tense and he stopped undressing the blue-eyed boy.

"Cas...?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh--Why do you have those cuts on your arms?"

Cas quickly sat up and crossed his arms, looking for his shirt.

"Cas!" He basically yelled.

"It's nothing, okay? Just... Forget about them, could you?" His voice was almost a whisper.

Dean kneeled staring at Cas, "No, I can't. Talk to me. Tell me, please. I want to know."

"There's nothing to tell." He got up. "I need to go..."

Dean jumped up and stopped Cas, "Stop. I wanna know, Cas, please tell me. I won't judge you. I just need to know so I can understand." His eyebrows were frowned and his voice was full of angst.

Cas looked to the floor, sighing a few moments later, "Like I told you before, the people from my last school found out about my sexual orientation. They got extreme about that. They used me as their punch bag." He walked to the wall, leaning against it. "There was a boy, Balthazar. He was my boyfriend. They beat him up and he ended up at the hospital. He got scared so he broke up with me. And I got alone. I was alone at a school where I was called a fag, freak, cocksucker, sick. I was alone at a school where I was beaten up five days a week. I was nothing, just a piece of shit, a disaster. And soon, the pain was too much, so I needed a way to get away of it... " He looked at his arms. "I'm not proud of it. I got a mess. My family found out, everyone found out - which only made things worse - and it was a problem. But I'm okay now. I still have the scars, and they will always remind me of those days but I can live with that."

Dean was in shock.

"I--I didn't know that. I'm  _so_ sorry, Cas." He hugged him.

"Thank you. I'm alright, Dean." He explained separating from the hug.

"I won't let that happen to you again, okay?" He kissed each one of the scars. "I promised I'd protect you."

"I know."

Dean leaned his forehead on Cas', his eyes closed. He wouldn't let Cas pass through that pain again. He would make sure no one at school would find out about him.

He knew what he needed to do.

"I love you, okay?" He said opening his eyes to look at Cas. "Promise me you won't forget that."

"I promise."

 

~

 

**Dean Winchester 7:19pm**

_'Okay, I'm in. You keep your piehole shut about Cas or I swear the God I'll make you wish you're dead.'_

 

**Abaddon Wheeler 7:23pm**

_'I'm glad to know that. Don't worry, his secret is safe with me._

_See you monday... Love ;) '_

 

 

_~3rd november 2014~_

 

 

[Castiel]

 

He was trying his best to hold back the tears. He could actually feel his heart stop beating and knifes on his chest. In front of him were Dean and Abaddon kissing in front of everyone. People were talking and cheering the two. Abaddon was with the biggest smile on her face.

' _Bitch... You should die horribly... Painfully. Stabbed over and over and OVER again. Stop, you're not an aggressive person, Castiel--but she should burn in hell, that &#@!'_

How could he? After what Cas had told him the day before? After promising him he wouldn't suffer anymore?

He cleared his throat and walked across the school hallway to his locker. Gabriel was with him.

"Just... Calm down, little brother. Don't let that fucker affect you." He said looking at Dean. He then frowned. Dean didn't seem happy, he seemed off, away. Cas followed his eyes. "I'll talk with him."

"No, Gabe. Let him be." He calmly replied. "I just don't understand... We were okay, and now..." He shook his head closing the locker. "He played me." He painfully laughed. "He said it himself: a thing... We here only having a thing, I shouldn't have expected much more."

"But weren't you okay, the last time you were together?" All of that was being strange.

"We were... I mean, I thought we were. I don't know anymore. I just know that it hurts."

' _He saw how shitty I am so he left... He saw the scars and saw that I'm stupid... He must hate me now. That's what I do. I make people hate me... It's my fault.'_ Cas thought leaning against the lockers.

The 'couple' passed by them and Abaddon smiled at the younger Novak and winked at the older. Dean followed her pacing and looked at Cas, who looked anywhere but him.

He went to his class. He saw Dean sitting at his regular seat, drawing something on his notebook. Cas glanced over the room and saw another empty seat at the first row. He sat there. He couldn't see Dean. Not at that moment.

He looked over his shoulder and noticed Dean getting up and walking towards his seat.

' _Please, don't come here. Please, don't come here!"_

Abaddon stopped him. He saw Dean rolling his eyes and returning to his desk.

"Well, that's odd." He mumbled before Abaddon sat on the top of his desk.

"Hey, Cassie. How's your day going so far?"

"It was going great until you showed up." He stared at her.

She smiled, "Oh sweetie, I made a promise to Dean, but if you ever talk to him, if you  _even_ look at him, I can assure you I'll destroy you. I'll destroy you two that your auto-mutilating days will look a fairy tale. Watch your ass, you fag."

"Funny." She eyed him. "All the hate about people like me and you're dating a... Fag... Too."

She stared at him for a while and then she smiled, laughing. "Oh Cassie, Cassie... Dean-o there, he isn't gay. He's just blind. I can help him getting okay. Two days with this sweet body and he won't remember your name."

 

[Sam]

 

Sam didn't went to school. He was feeling sick. So he stood home alone. He was watching TV curled on a blanket and sneezing at every five minutes.

He wasn't okay. That Ruby bitch ruined his relationship with Jess and now Crowley was starting to beat him up. He even stopped going to the soccer practices so his schoolmates wouldn't see his bruises.

And John was missing. He hated it. He hated when his dad was home but he hated even more when his father was out for so long without filling them in.

He sighed and sneezed right after that. That's when he heard a knock at his front door.

"Yeah?" He walked to the door.

"Sam, it's me, Jessica. We need to talk."

He opened the door, "Hey!"

"Charlie told me the truth."

Sam frowned, "What do you mean?"

"She's at the gaming group - which is at block C by the way, next to the glee club, where Ruby is - and she heard Ruby chatting with Crowley about that night. It was all a plan and I get it now." She downed her head, looking at the porch's floor. "I'm here to apologize myself."

"Yeah. I tried to tell you that."

"I know! And I'm sorry." She cried.

"Just--Come on in! It's freezing out there." He invited her. She nodded and entered the house, sitting on the couch. He sat next to her. "I'm glad you know the truth."

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I should have trusted you."

"You're right." He agreed looking at her. "But it's okay. They had a picture, I understand why you reacted like that."

"I just... I like you and we're still so young and seeing Ruby--"

"Forget about her. I like  _you,_ blondie." He smiled.

She giggled, "Good. Good!"

"I'm wat-*sneeze*-ching a movie, wanna join me?"

"Sure!"

 

[Dean]

 

"You can at least try to look like you're happy." Abaddon rolled her eyes standing in front of him. "We're a couple. Act like it."

"I accepted doing this crap, but don't you think I'll be your poppet, got it?" He answered walking along the hall with his practice bag on his shoulder. "I have an extra practice, today, so why don't you go scare little kids?"

"Yeah, maybe I'll scare little Cas." Dean stopped and eyed her. "We are going to do this on my way, Dean-o!"

"Whatever." He turned around again and entered the gym. She followed him. He noticed. "What, you're my stalker now?"

"No. I'm your girlfriend, dummy. And I'm here to see your practice."

He sighed, rolling his eyes and heading to the locker room. The rest of the team was already there.

"Look who's the boss!" Zachariah yelled. "One day he's dating Tessa, the other he's apparently gay and the day after that he's dating La Queen."

"Yeah." He nervously laughed.

"What crazy girls say when their boyfriend dumps them for a hotter chick." He continued. "Thank God, I'm good with my girl."

"Yeah." Dean repeated undressing his shirt.

"And was she lying?" Alastair asked.

"Just because she told you whatever she did, it doesn't make it true. Why, you interested?" Dean mocked making the others to laugh.

"Screw you!"

The practice went okay. They would have a game next weekend so the coach decided to give them that extra practice before the game.

Abaddon kept there until the end, following Dean's every move. He was her toy and she was loving it.

Dean only got free of her when he went home, finding Sam and Jessica watching a film together. Good they were finally okay.

They dinned together and Dean offered her a ride home. She happily accepted.

Dean then decided he needed to tell Cas why he did what he did. He deserved to know.

He knocked at the door. Lucifer opened.

"Oh, it's you." He said opening the rest of the door letting Dean come in. "If you're looking for my sis, she's not home."

"You know who I'm looking for."

He eyed Dean, "Right. Castiel. You can find him at his... Room."

He went upstairs and sneaked into Cas' bedroom. Cas was on his laptop chatting with someone.

"Hu-hum. Cas?" He called. Cas looked at him.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was deep and not very friendly.

"We gotta talk."

"Do we?" Dean nodded. "I don't wanna talk to you, Dean. You can leave, now."

"I should have told you, I know. But it's not for real. As long as I'm with her, no one will know about you. We still can have our thing... "

"And there you go, the  _thing_ again... To you, this is all just a thing. And I told you we could handle it! And you still made a move without my consent!"

"No, Cas, we couldn't! You don't know these people, I do! Most people think that Lilith's is  _the_ bitch of the school but Abaddon is the real Queen Bitch. She would turn the whole school against us and I promised you I would protect you."

"You weren't protecting me, Dean!"

"Yes, I was. I still am."

"No. You're protecting yourself." He got up. "I trusted you and you lied to me! You chose Abaddon. You knew what I had been through and you didn't care about that. You did the same Balthazar did."

"Don't be dramatic!" Dean sighed impatient. "People can't know about us!"

"And why not?" He yelled. "And don't give me that same old excuse 'cause I know there's something more."

"Because--I'm not ready for that! Okay? I came this town I had nothing and now I have a reputation. A reputation that keeps Sammy and I safe out there!"

"Like I said, you're protecting yourself. Nothing else."

"Stop being like that!" He approached Cas. "I though about you too. More than anything else! At the beginning I even considered about coming clean but then you told me about those cuts and I lost my strength." He cried.

"I said I'm fine!" He remarked annoyed. "Answer me this. What do you want, really? You want a stupid reputation of ' _Oh, I fucked half school. Look at me, I'm cool'_ or you want to man up and be a grown up person for once in your life?"

"Man up?! The fuck are you saying? You have no idea the sacrifices I made all my life. I'm more man than you!"

Cas scoffed, "If you say so!" Cas crossed his arms clenching his teeth.

"Look... I did this because I thought it was the best for  _us._ It's all pretending. I just wanted you to be safe. I can protect myself, kick some asses, but what about you, Cas? You think it was easy to accept Abby's terms? It wasn't!" Cas remained in silence. Dean nodded disappointed. "You know what? I don't have time for this crap! I need to go home and  _man up_  because my dad's missing, I have work tomorrow - 'cause now I need to have to fucking jobs - and a mouth to feed at home. I don't have time to be here arguing with a child!" He walked around, walking towards the door.

"You suck!" Cas muttered.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said that you suck!" He repeated holding back his cry.

"Yeah? Well, and you swallow!" He answered back without thinking about it. It something that came out naturally, it was basically automatic.

Dean only noticed his stupid comeback when Cas ran to him and raised a fist, punching him in the jaw.

"I'm sor--"

"Get out!" Cas shouted shaking. "Get the fuck out of here!"


	7. No More Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any spelling mistakes, I apologize in advance.  
> Good reading!

_~20th november 2014~_

 

[Dean]

 

Dean froze when he heard the voice on the other side of the phone. It was a police officer say they had found John and that he was at the hospital. 

He left the job earlier and ran to pick up Sam at school to go see their father. 

When they got there, the same police officer from the phone call was waiting for them. 

"You're Dean, I presume?" He called him. 

"Yeah. How is he? Can we see him? What happened?" He was speaking faster than he could think. 

"Easy... Look, we still don't know what happened. He was found unconscious at Richmond, Virginia. He was at the local hospital for a few days until being transferred here, some hours ago."

"Richmond, Virginia? That over 1000 miles away from here!"

"We know. Like I said, we don't know what happened. We're waiting for him to wake up to ask him some questions."

A nurse called them,"He's awaking."

"Jeez, what's this smell?" His rough voice was still half sleepy. He then saw Dean, Sam and the cop. "Shit." 

"That's so nice to see you too, dad." Sam pointed sarcastically. "Was your road trip for beers good?" 

"Sam... " Dean gave him a look. 

"Mr. Winchester, I'm agent Spangler and I'd like to make you some questions..." 

"Is it really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so, sir... "

He coughed, "Well, go ahead." 

"Where have you been since october 16th, sir? Do you remember?"

"I went for beers... To a bar. Something came up so I bailed."

"Are you aware you left two teenagers alone?"

"Dean can handle it. That's why I raised. He knows what to do when I'm out. It's his job."

The police officer looked at the older sibling.He had bags under his eyes and he was sweaty, still dressing his overall. He didn't seem to be eating properly lately. 

"So where did you go after you... Bailed?"

"None of your business, officer. A business thing."

"Sir, you were found at Richmond, unconscious and barely alive."

"Well, I'm not pressing charges so you don't need to be here!" He was now being extremely rude. 

"That's your choice. But your sons declared your disappearance, so you're under investigation, sir."

John looked at Dean and then back at the cop, "Do you mind if I have a word with my boys?" 

"Sure."

He waited until he was alone with them.

"What were you thinking, you stupid asshole?"

"You kidding me?! One month, dad! You were gone for over a month! What was I suppose to do? You could be died!"

"But I'm not! Now you fucker go out there and you gonna tell that dickhead the case's closed. Understood?"

"I--Yes, sir."

 

Dean talked to the police officer and went to the police station to close the case. It took him a while and a bunch of questions he didn't know the answer. But it was done. 

He left the building and lighted up a cigarette. He started smoking after his argument with Cas. It helped him relaxing and he could use one right now. 

He looked at his phone screen and remembered he didn't warn Bobby before leaving the shop. 

"Great... Just what I needed now. I hope he doesn't fire me." He sighed dialling him. 

Fortunately, Bobby understood and said he wouldn't discount the time he skipped. It relieved Dean. 

He continued smoking, feeling the hot smoke burning his throat and lungs, burning his pain with it, while walking down the sidewalk. He was thinking about how could his dad end up at Richmond and why. Thinking about that made him realize he didn't even know what was John's job. 

He sighed letting the smoke fly off of his lungs, dancing through the air and then finally disappearing. His life was a mess, like always. 

He was still dating Abaddon, playing nice, doing almost everything she wanted, even though he wished he could stab her to death, he would do that, if he could. The 'good' side was that now she didn't have the time she'd like to have with him because of his two jobs. 

There were classes he was missing so he could pay the bills and the football practices were no longer a part of his Highschool plans, though the coach said he would still be on the team but the captain position went to Alastair. 

Dean didn't care. He was just living the days one after another without complaining. He was done of everything, so why care about football or Abaddon or even school? His job was to protect and raise Sam so it was the only thing he cared about at the moment.

Five days later John went home. He was still weak but good enough to leave the hospital. Dean was at school the whole day, returning home only to get clean before going to work at a nightclub. 

When he got to his room he saw John scouring through his stuff. 

"Dad?" He called him, holding the door to his room. "What are you doing?" 

"I need some cash."

"There's no money in there, that's for sure!" He pointed to the pair of boxers his dad was holding. "You need cash for what?" 

"Just give some money, son!" He ordered, widening his eyes at his son. 

"I can't." He sighed, tired. "All the money we have is to pay the rent and to get us some food. I'm working my ass here so we don't starve to death, dad." He explained. 

"Work harder, I don't care." He shouted. "Gimme your wallet." Dean frowned incredulously. "Boy, give me your wallet." 

Dean stared at his father and unwillingly passed it to John, who took all the money he had with him. 

"That's it? 50 bucks? That's all you have?" John shook his head in disapproval. 

Dean didn't answer to his dad. He just went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, leaving then to his second job. 

"Where are you going?" John asked sitting on the couch watching some Tv.

"To work. You know what that is, right?"

 

~

 

"Two shots of vodka, please." A voice asked. Dean nodded and soon gave him his order. "Busy night, huh?" 

"I've seen worse. Wait 'til the weekend!" He answered cleaning the counter, not looking at the guy talking to him. 

The loud music was bothering him. He only worked there for two weeks but that music was messing up with his brain. 

He gazed the crowd of people dancing at the beat of the music. Half of them were already drunk and the other half going to the same point.

He got a small break at 1am and he took it to go the alley in the back of the nightclub to grab a smoke and to get away from the music and the neon lights. 

There were two girls out there but they didn't mind him continuing to talk and laugh while walking along the sidewalk.

Dean didn't mind them either. He just stared at the brick wall while finishing his cigarette and threw it to the concrete ground, stepping on it. 

"So, you smoke, now?" A voice called his attention. It was the same one from inside. 

He turned around recognizing the person, "Damien? What the fuck are you doing here?" 

"You remember me! That's good... " He smiled standing next to Dean. "I'm just visiting town. Sometimes you get tired of college."

"What the fuck are you doing  _here_?" He repeated. 

"Easy, Dean. Relax. I'm not going to fuck you or anything... I'm just here to see my friend."

"Friend? We only talked once and I was drunk." He pointed out, walking away. 

"Who said it's you? No. My friend's inside. Cool guy. Hot too."

"I don't care with who you get laid, dude. Just leave me alone." Dean said roughly. 

"What, you still mad at me? I never forced you onto anything. And you weren't  _that_ drunk."

Dean clenched his teeth, "Shut up!" 

"No, seriously. Why are you mad at me?" He asked crossing his arms. "We had sex and you liked it. What's the matter?" 

" _I liked it!_ I wasn't suppose to like it! I wasn't suppose to be gay! I wasn't suppose to like men and now I fucked it all up because I thought I was doing the right thing. And  _this_  is all your fault. If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't be this shit and I wouldn't have fallen for him!" He shouted almost throwing up his lungs, kicking a dumpster. 

"Wait, you're blaming me? Oh, Dean, it's not my fault. You are what you are, just accept it!" He advised shrugging. "And who's this guy you're talking about?" 

"Damien?" A third voice shouted from the entrance of the alley. "Is that you?" 

Dean was in the shadows so he wasn't seen but he recognized that voice and it was like someone had just rip his heart out of his chest. 

"Yeah, it's me, Cas. I'm coming. Just chatting with some guy I know."

"I think the shots are doing something. I feel dizzy." He laughed. 

Dean remained in silence. 

"Yeah, okay, buddy. Let's take you somewhere calm. What do you say?" Cas nodded. "Good." He looked at the dirt blonde teen. "See ya, mate."

Dean watched the two boys leave and returned inside. 

He was mad. Castiel went to a nightclub with Damien, he was moving on. Dean wasn't mad at Cas, he was mad at himself because it was his fault.

He needed a drink. 

Or two. 

Or three. 

Or as much as he could take. 

He only stopped when his co-worker, Bela, took the bottle from his and threatened him she would tell their boss if he didn't stop. 

Dean didn't like her. She was blonde and hot and her british accent was too damn attractive but she was just an arrogant and competitive bitch. 

"Just gimme the fucking bottle, Bel." Dean slurred. A few costumers were watching the boy sitting at one corner with the knees to his chest. 

"You're drunk. At your work shift. They hire every kind of trash, nowadays." She scoffed eyeing him. "You're lucky if I don't tel Gordon. Now get out of here and go home!" She yelled. 

"No... I need the money. I gotta work... I gotta... " He burped. 

"I'm pretty sure that the only money you'll see today is the money you'll pay for the shots you already drank, schmuck!" 

Dean dragged himself out and basically crawled home.

He put himself to bed and when he woke up it was almost midday. 

"Shit!" He shouted angrily and a huge headache attacked him. "Oh, shit...!" 

Sam wasn't there. He must have gone to school already. 

He got up, took a shower, brushed his teeth, got dressed and went to school. But not without noticing his dad passed out on the couch.

He missed the English test. The only reason he went school was to finish a Physics group work at the afternoon with Jo and Joshua. 

He was walking towards the library when he heard Sam's voice around the corner. He followed the sound, finding Crowley punching Sam in the face. 

Dean grabbed Crowley by his collar and dragged him against the wall. 

"You fucker touch my bother again and I'll kill you, your children and your grandchildren." He freed him. "Get out of my sight, asshat." 

Crowley adjusted his clothes and ran, leaving the two Winchesters alone. 

Dean helped his brother getting to his feet and cleaned some of his nose bleeding. 

"You okay, Sammy?" He asked, examining his brother in panic. 

"I'm fine. I'm fine." He cried with a painful grimace. 

"That fucker. I'm gonna rip his lungs out!" He shouted angrily. Then he had a sudden explanation to all the bruises he saw on Sam at the latest days. "Wait... Is he the one who's been doing this to you?" 

"Dean... "

"You said it was during your soccer practices but it wasn't, was it?" 

"I--"

"Damn it, Sam! Why didn't you tell me?" He yelled at his brother. 

"Because it is  _my_ problem, Dean! I'm the one who has been bullied, not you!"

"I could have protected you..." His eyes widened and his voice smoothed a little. 

"No, you couldn't. I need to protect myself. You can't protect everybody, Dean. Even though you try." Sam sighed looking at his brother. Dean frowned. "And you can't beat up a kid. He's only thirteen. I can handle it. I  _will_ handle it." 

Dean was with a heartbreaking look on his face, "If he touches you again, promise me, you'll tell me." 

Sam simply nodded and Dean embraced him tightly, making Sam moan in pain.

 

_ ~6th december 2014~ _

 

[Dean]

 

Dean was at work. After telling Bobby about the financial situation his family was handling Bobby gave him a promotion. It would mean he would work 5 days a week, instead of 2, but he was okay with that. He also talked to Gordon - who found out about the drinking episode because of Bela - and he didn't lose the job, being only replaced as a security guy at the entrance. It would at least keep him away from the alcohol. 

Dean's amount of work increased and John'scompletely disappeared. He was at home 24/7 paranoid about someone being after him and saying that his kids neededto beready to handle a gun and to fight hand to hand. His alcoholism had increased and hisaggressivetyattacks as well. And Dean was his punch bag.

It was now 3:17pm. Dean was washing his hands to grab a smoke, the cold wind penetrating the shop by the open gate and making him crypt a little. At the distance he saw a girl approaching. He recognized her at the moment: Anna. 

"Hey." she greeted clapping and rubbing her hands to warmth them. 

"Hey." He nodded lightening his cigarette. Surprise hit her in the face. 

"Hmm--Can we talk, please?" She asked. 

"Aren't we already?"

"I mean, somewhere hotter. It's freezing in here." She complained looking at the empty garage. 

"We can talk at Bobby's office. He's out so no one will interrupt us."

He led her to the small compartment built at the end of the large shop, letting her in first. 

"Much better." She laughed. Dean remained in silence with his cigarette on his hand. "So... I want to talk to you about Castiel ." She explained sitting on Bobby's chair. 

"I figured."

Dean was rude, cold. Of course he was, everything was out of hand. Everything was killing him. So he just stopped showing emotions to anyone. Even to Sam. 

" O-kay ... When I was on my way here I thought about punching you but you would probably just punch me back and it would hurt so--" She nervously laughed.

"Just cut the crap."

She gave him an offended look , "What happened? I remember that night when I asked you if you liked my brother and you just looked down blushing... You  _liked_  him. And he liked you too. So what happened, why did you ruin it?" She asked with a mix of concern and sadness. 

"Because that's what I do. I ruin things... "

She frowned, "You're hurt." Dean let go a silent  _hmmpff_. "Oh, Dean, I don't know what's happening to you, or at you, but you don't ruin things. You don't do that..." 

Dean leaned against some arquives. She continued, 

"Look, Cas...? He was so broken when we got here. He was so off, so distant. We, Gabriel and I, tried to help him but we couldn't, because we weren't the kind of help he needed. He needed someone else... He needed you. When you entered his life it was like having my brother again: smiling, happy. Free.  He had been through a lot and it was too late for us when we found out. But it wasn't for you. You brought the best of my brother back! And then... I don't know. I don't know what happened. Cas doesn't tell me. But this Castiel I live with  _ now,  _ dating some college guy I don't even know, it's not my brother. He needs  _you!_ "

"I--" Dean tried to say but the knot on his throat was too strong. He took a deep breath. "I love your brother. I do. But I had to do something to protect him. Maybe even to protect myself. He didn't understand that, so there's nothing I can do." 

"Does that  _something_  includes dating some Abaddon chick?" Dean looked at her. "Gabe told me." 

"Look. All my life I believed I was straight. All. My. Life. Then some jackass appeared and it changed. But I kept it to myself. I hid it. No one could know because I'm Dean Winchester. So I moved on and tried to convince myself I wasn't gay. Then Cas appeared and it all came back. Everything I tried to bury with girls and alcohol and God-knows-whatelse came back to haunt me, and I did nothing to stop it because Cas was the person I desired the most. So I allowed myself to feel. To give it a chance.  Then Abaddon showed up and she found out about us. I froze. I panicked. One thing was to let Cas know, to be who I am around him; other thing is to let everyone know. I wasn't ready for that! She would tell everyone about us and that school ain't easy for people that are  _ different.  _

>But then again, it was Cas, so maybe I could do it,  _maybe._ But after Cas telling about what happened at Illinois, after I saw how it crippled him, the cuts, the sadness in his eyes, the pain in his voice, I couldn't let that happen again. I wouldn't bare seeing the person I love suffer that, all over again.  He deserves to have some tranquility in his life. I promised him nothing bad would happen to him, so I accepted Abaddon's deal. It was the only way Cas would be safe, the only way I was sure no one would attack him just because he likes men.  It was a stupid ass decision, I know that, and I hate myself for that. But I'll do whatever it takes so Cas can be happy." Dean was with his glisteny-eyed gonna-cry look. 

"I get it. I swear I do! But do you think  _this_ is making him happy?" She frowned getting up. "Dean, it's okay to beafraid. It's okay to doubt. But don't let that destroy what you could have with Cas. You should betogether. Because...  _This_ , whatever you're doing, it's killing you. You too deserve to behappy!"

 

[ Castiel ]

 

He turned around on his bed. He had spent the entire day there. Sleeping. 

He grabbed his phone. He had some text messages from Damien but he didn't bother to reply. 

After a few minutes he got up. No one was at home. How good the silence was. He missed it. 

He sat on the couch turning on the TV. Some random film was playing so he watched annoyed. 

Gabriel arrived home with a bag. 

"Hi." Cas said, eyes on the TV. 

"H-hi!"

"What's in the bag?"

"No--Nothing. Just some things I needed." He lied. Cas noticed. 

"What's going on, Gabe? You seem a little out lately, like if you're hiding something... 

"What?! Why-why would I be hiding--no!"

Cas narrowed his eyes not convinced. Gabriel knew his brother would find the truth. 

The younger one then ran to his brother trying to steal his bag, with success! 

He opened it and started taking out some books, "Wait, cuisine books?" He frowned. 

"Gimme that!" Gabriel shouted mad. 

"Na-ah! I didn't know you liked cooking, Gabe."

Gabriel tried to get his bag back. 

"Gimme that!" He repeated. 

"Is this your big secret? You're buying books about how to cook cakes and... Candies?" He laughed. 

"I--" Cas eyed him encouraging him to speak. "I'm taking some classes so I can open a Candy shop." 

"That's great!" Cas smiled patting his brother on his shoulder. "I'm glad you found something you like." 

"No jokes about cuisine being only for women?"

"Well," he shrugged "usually only women are supposed to like men, so I can't really joke about it, can I? And besides, What's the big deal? You like candies. You want to open a shop. Sounds pretty normal to me..." He retrieved Gabe's bag. 

"Thanks."

"Where's Anna?" Castiel went to the fridge go grab a drink. 

"Solving some problems. Getting something clean... Ya know, doing her thing... " He answered suspiciously staring at Cas. 

"Okay." He took a glass of milk. 

"Why?" Gabriel sat on the table. 

"I have plans for Christmas. Just wanted to tell her I'm not going to Pontiac this Holidays... "

"Plans? With who? That Damien guy?" His face tensed. 

"Yep."

"You guys are together for like ten days and you're already making plans? Aren't you going too fast?"

Cas sighed annoyed, "I already got that you and An don't like him, but that doesn't mean I won't do my plans with him. And besides, what's your problem with him?" 

"You know very well what our problem is." Gabe muttered grabbing his bag upset. "Just because it didn't work with Dean, it doesn't mean you have to jump at the first douche that appears at your front door." 

"You think this is because of Dean?" Cas laughed landing the glass on the table. 

"Don't pretend it isn't." He answered over his shoulder while going to his room.

 

_~17th december 2014~_

 

[Castiel]

 

"Can you give me a hand here, please?" Anna called, from her room, the boy sitting on his bed, laptop between his legs. 

"Yeah, give a sec, sis." Castiel replied finishing his chat with Kevin on facebook. 

He left the room, stumbling on the carpet and staggered to her room. 

Anna was finishing packing her things. His family was going to Pontiac, as promised, to spend the Christmas break with their family. 

"Are you sure you're not coming?" She asked packing some warm clothes. "You still have time to call Da--" 

"I'm not canceling my plans with him."

"Ok. Ok." She raised her hands in surrender. "Can you go downstairs get my ipad? I'm not done packing." 

Cas nodded and exited the room, going to the stairs. On the way he saw Gabriel going to Anna's room and heard Michael and Lucifer arguing about something he didn't understand.

He looked around. The living room was a mess. Bags everywhere, some clothes on the couch, shoes on the floor, the coffee table still with the dishes from lunch, that his family decided to take watching some TV. 

He sighed. It would a while to find Anna's best friend.

He was returning upstairs when he heard Gabriel and she talking. 

"... I thought I had convinced him, but I don't know anymore. It was almost two weeks ago and-"

"No news from him. Yeah, I know. There's nothing else we can do, Anna..."

He interrupted them, "Found it!" He highed it, smiling. "There's a mess, downstairs. If I knew no better, I'd day you're moving out." He laughed. 

"Thank you, Castiel." Anna took her ipad and put it on her purse. "We gotta hurry, Gabe, dad's here in an hour."

They left when their father arrived and Cas was finally alone at home. He closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the sweet silence. 

He did the dishes, cleaned the house and went to his room. Damien was calling him on Skype. 

"Hi, cowboy." He greeted Cas from the other side. 

"Hi."

"I'm picking you up tomorrow, okay, big boy?"

"Fine." He shrugged. 

"Great. See you tomorrow then. Love ya."

"See ya." He hang up. 

He wasn't in the mood to chat with Damien. He was like that with him. Damien never complained.

It was 7:27pm when Cas decided it was time to make his dinner. Some fries with a steak would work. Being home alone made him feel good, in peace. The kind of peace he was in need to have. 

His first term at school wasn't that great and some of his grades were a mirror of that. There still were some occasions Alastair or any other punk would mess with him but he started to ignore them. 

He fell asleep on the couch while watching "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay"

He woke up with the sound of someone knocking. It was 9:02 am. He moaned combing, or trying to, his hair with his hands. 

He opened the door, seeing Dean standing at the porch with a big box on his hands. 

"What are you doing here, Dean?" Cas asked, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

"Merry Christmas!" he shyly smiled handing him the box. Cas didn't move. 

"Is this a joke?" His brows united forming some wrinkles on his forehead. "Just... ' _Merry Christmas'_?" 

Dean lost the smile. Lost the bright on his eyes showing the real Dean. The broken teen he now was. 

"I--Can we talk, please?"

"... About? I think you made pretty clear what--"

"Just hear me out, okay?" 

Cas sighed and let him come in. They were at the living room. Dean turned at him after dropping the box under the tree. 

"I'm sorry! For not being the man I should be. For not being as strong as I should. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough for you. You deserved better and I was too scared to be that better. I--" He licked his lips. "I love you. All of you! This last month has been the worst month of my life because I could be with you and, instead, I pushed you away. I let you down when you needed me. So I'm sorry!" He cried, looking down at his army boots. Then he looked back at Cas. "I just want you to know that you'll always be my dream. So... Yeah." 

Silence.   
 _Awkward_ silence. 

"Dean, I'm --"

"That's okay. You're with someone else, I get it." He painfully sighed. "Keep the present." He looked at the Christmas tree before turning towards the front door. 

Castiel stopped him and rested a hand on his cheek, kissing him. Dean's body wasn't expecting that but he soon relaxed and kissed him back, discovering with his hands the bottom of Cas' back. 

How they missed each other. 

"I--" Dean started after separating from the boy he loved. "I'm confused. Weren't you with Damien?" 

"... Yeah?" Dean frowned with Cas' response. "Ahm... I--It's complicated." 

Dean snorted a  _Hmmpff_ _._

Cas stared at him. He finally saw how Dean seemed tired, sick, older. He had an almost invisible stain around his left eye and a cut across the eyebrow of the same side. It would definitely leave a scar. He looked skinnier too and his eyes were heavy and the bags under them were making them even heavier. 

He no longer was the same Dean he had met, months before. He was suffering, in pain. 

"What happened to you?" Cas grabbed his cold hands. His hands were always cold. 

"Life. The rough part, I mean." He said sighing. Cas frowned and gave him a 'tell-me-more' look. "Having two jobs, school and a crazy alcoholic dad and a brother to take care ain't easy." He shrugged but Cas saw through him. Dean was more then hurt, broken. He was slowly dying. 

"I'm sorry...  _So_ sorry, Dean." Cas shook his head. 

"Nah, I'm good. Don't worry. It's just... I'm tired, that's all."

Cas hugged him. He missed the feeling of having Dean's strong arms around his body, protecting him. He missed Dean's oil and leather scent and menthol breath, Dean's heartbeat against his ear. He missed all about him. 

"I'm moving town." Dean said in a whisper. 

"What? When?" Cas asked not breaking the hug. 

"Yeah... I don't know, yet, but it will happen... Soon. That's what my dad does. When we are no longer able to live at one place we just hit the road and find a new one."

"You're that bad?"

"It doesn't matter how many raises I get, the money just flies away...  _Poof._ The bigger I win, the fastest it goes. And dad's going nuts..." Cas tilted his head confused. "He keeps saying someone's after him and  _bla_ _bla_ _bla_  I need to carry a gun and to know how to fight." 

Cas let go of him and sat on the couch. 

"I need to know, Cas... "

"Know what?" 

"Who's more important to you. I'll try to find a way to stay here, at Lawrence, but only if I have a reason to actually stay. It's okay, Cas, if you want Damien; I'll just stop bothering you. I don't want to be a ghost in your life." Dean stood in the middle of the living room looking the red carpet beneath his feet. 

They heard another knock on the door. 

' _Not you, Damien. Not now..._ _Please!'_

Castiel sighed and nervously approached the door, opening it. He was instantly kissed, "Hey, love. Ready to go?" Damien asked and walked inside. 

Dean was glaring the couple, sadness glued on his face. 

"Oh, hi, Dean. I did not know you knew Castiel."

"Yeah, we--" He adjusted his leather jacket. "It doesn't matter." Cas closed the door, staring at Dean. "Well, I guess I should get going, then." He approached the door. 

Cas hold him by his arm, stopping him from leaving. 

"Don't. Don't go." Cas asked. He took a deep breath and faced Damien. "I'm not going with you. This was a mistake. I'm sorry." 

"What?"

"We should stop seeing each other." He concluded. 

Damien glared his now former boyfriend and had a sudden revelation: Cas was the guy Dean had talked about. 

After that, Damien quickly left leaving the Winchester and the Novak alone. 

"You sure about this?" Dean quizzed looking at him in the eyes. 

"With all I have."


	8. It's Christmas Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gmbygrl, thank you for being my beta reader and for correcting the chapter before I posted it here. You're awesome!

_~19th December 2014~_

 

 

[Dean]

 

 

"Sammy, hurry up! We have to get Cas on the way there!" Dean called holding his bags upon his right shoulder, taking them to the trunk of the Impala. "Sam!" 

"I'm here." He ran, tripping over a rock, almost falling to the ground. "Is dad okay with this?" 

"I didn't ask. I just told him we were going to spend Christmas at Bobby's and he just glared at me." He shrugged not giving too much importance at it. "I left him some money. He can't really complain." 

Sam smiled and jumped inside the car, sitting as  _shotgun_. Dean joined him and they took off to get Cas.

They parked in front of Bobby's and quietly exited the car. 

"You sure he's okay with me coming with? He doesn't even know me!" Cas asked nervously. 

"Relax, Cas. He's cool. I said a friend of mine was coming with us and he assured me it was okay." Dean smiled, helping Sam with his things. Sam ran inside, leaving them two alone. "Relax, love." He slightly punched Cas on his arm, winking at him. 

"Okay, okay. I'm relaxed." Cas affirmed picking up his own bags plus the box-gift Dean had given to him. 

Dean followed Cas' move and grabbed his things, shutting the trunk and giving a quick kiss to the boy, "You better be, 'cause we are going to do a lot of naughty things during these holidays, big boy." He announced wiggling his eyebrows, while giving Cas an alluring smile.

 

~

 

Bobby's house was big. Not new or shining bright like a mansion in those home style magazines. With that, the three boys got to choose a room for each one of them. Because no one knew about Dean and Cas, not even Sam, they decided to get separate ones.  After that, they formally introduced Cas to Bobby and Dean decided to talk with Jo.

"Hey, Jo, can we talk?" Dean asked entering the attic, where Jo liked to do her paintings. 

"Hi, Dean, sure. What's up?" She put the palette down and cleaned her hands at her 'painting-clothes'. 

"We haven't talked much lately... "

"Well, mostly because you've been dating  _Abaddouche_ and I don't know if you remember but I'm Tessa's friend..." She pointed out matter-of-factly. 

"About that... "

"You two broke up!" She hinted with a tone of hope in her voice. 

"Not yet but--Let me talk okay?"

"Oh, go ahead."

"Well, okay..." He coughed clearing his throat. "Do you remember those rumors about me, a few weeks ago?" 

She nodded, "Yeah, so?" 

"They're true." He simply said. Jo's lips parted. "I had a one night thing with a guy a few months back and--" 

"I-I thought Tessa was just drunk when she started spreading that..."

"It doesn't matter. I'm telling you this because there's something you need to know." She kept in silence. "I like Cas. And we are together. Like... Together, _together_. A couple." 

"I--Oh my sweet Jesus!" She screamed staring at Dean. It scared him. A lot. Then she started laughing with the biggest smile Dean had ever seen. "If that makes you happy, I'm happy too, cuz!" 

"You're okay with this?"

"Should I not be? You like Cas, okay. I wasn't expecting that but... No problem at all!" She hugged him, who hugged her back. 

"Thank you!"

 

~

 

They dinned, chatting about random things. Ellen was really enjoying Cas' personality and Bobby was nice with the kid too, which was something unusual.  After doing the dishes, they went to the living room to watch a film and one by one, the Singers left to their room, not holding much more the sleep. 

Sam left too. 

"We should go to sleep as well, Dean." Cas recommended turning the TV off.

"Not so fast. We're finally alone." Dean protested, pulling Cas closer to his body. "We have a lot of time that we need to catch up, you know?" 

The blue-eyed boy laughed, "And we'll have a lot of time to do that, don't you think?" 

"But the sooner we start the better." Dean grinned pulling Cas upon him, getting the two of them down in a lying position. 

They kissed. Dean's hands were moving in circles on the bottom of Cas' back, under his white shirt. They only separated their lips to catch their breaths. 

"Promise me one thing." Cas leaned his forehead down on Dean's. 

"Anything."

Cas bit his lip being only able to see the moonlight coming from the outside reflecting on Dean's eyes. 

"Promise me you'll stop smoking."

"I was waiting for a very important promise like ' _Never leave me again'_ but..."

"Dean!" He admonished. 

"I promise!" They kissed again. 

Then Cas burst out of laugh feeling Dean's fingers tickling him on his sides, "Dean, s-stop I--Plea-se **. No!** " He begged writhing for air and desperately trying to make Dean stop. 

Dean laughed with him, fascinated with Cas' cuteness. 

"DEAN! I--" He giggled "ST-OP" 

Dean stopped, kissing him in return. Cas calmed down, resting his arms around Dean's shoulders. 

With his feet, Dean took his boots off, never breaking the kiss with Cas. Softly he moved his legs to a more comfortable angle and snuggled them with Cas', running his hands along Cas' back, making him moan with Dean arousing touch. 

"I missed you." Cas whispered. 

"I missed you too." Dean whispered back kissing his nose. 

Cas smiled at Dean's fluffy kiss even though Dean couldn't see it because of being in the dark. 

Dean slowly pulled the red blanket over them and started kissing Cas passionately on his neck countless times. Cas groaned biting Dean's ear. 

The lights turned on. Dean got his head out of the blanket, seeing his brother walking to the kitchen, returning later with a glass of water. 

"You guys should try to keep it down. People are trying to sleep." Sam said selflessly. 

Dean stuttered while his cheeks flushed pink, "How long have you k--" 

"Please, Dean, don't underestimate my observation skills. I'm your brother, only if I was blind I wouldn't see it." He explained making a bitch face. "Good night." 

Dean sighed, relieved. It was good that Sam didn't freak out about them. 

He looked down, Cas was with his head resting on Dean's chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing, almost asleep.

The room went dark again. 

"Cas?" He asked keeping his voice low and concerned. 

"Uh?"

"Let's go my room, what do you say?"

 

~

 

[Castiel]

 

 

He opened his eyes feeling the natural illumination lighting his face and he blinked yawning. He felt Dean's arms around him and his legs beneath his. He looked over his shoulder seeing Dean peacefully sleeping. 

Cas smiled: that image of him so calm, tranquil and snoring a little were the best thing he could see in the morning. He kept looking, examining the countless freckles Dean had on his face. How could he be so perfect? Cas asked himself with a smile. 

He laid his head on the pillow again, feeling Dean's warm breathing against his neck and his chest slowly moving up and down. He didn't want to leave that bed but he felt an urgent need to go to the bathroom. 

Castiel gently freed himself not to awake the boy next to him and went to the bathroom. After that, he silently went to his own room, leaving before a soft kiss on Dean's forehead. 

He needed to remember that no one knew about their relationship, except for Sam.

He was finally at his bedroom when the door got open and Ellen snuck in with some towels. 

"Oh, you're awake! I was just going to leave this here, for when you'd like to take a shower, sweetie." She smiled, laying the towels on the chair next to a shell full of dusty old books. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Singer." He shyly smiled back. 

"Ellen, please." Cas nodded making a mental note of her name. "I'm making pancakes for breakfast. Make yourself at home." She left then the room and Cas unpacked one of his bags and went to the shower.

When he got ready and went downstairs, the others were already eating. He took a seat next to Dean and he squeezed his leg gently. 

"'Morning, sunshine." He whispered with a sweet smile on his face. 

Cas smiled back, taking a plate to himself. 

He looked at the table; if he didn’t know any better he'd say that they really were a family. Sam was playing with Jo throwing some strips of bacon at each other and Dean was now actively listening to Bobby about something related to their work, while Ellen was just rebuking Sam and Jo to stop wasting food with the best mom-voice she could pull. 

Cas smiled, his family was never like that. They were always silent at table or yelling because of some stupid argument. A family of extremes, he'd recall. 

But the best part of being there was to see Dean relaxed and smiling again. He still looked like crap, skinnier than when they met, with bags under his eyes and a tired expression on his whole body, but that smile.... That smile was like seeing an explosion of a supernova, completely marvelous and impossible to match or not to love. 

He was finally having some peace of mind.

 

 

[Dean]

 

 

He had breakfast and went to his room to take the presents he bought - he still had no idea how he managed to find enough money for that - and put them under the tree. He bought one for Sam, one for Jo and one for the 'old' couple. The one he got for Cas was already delivered.

It was Saturday so he needed to go to Bobby's shop, although, Bobby gave him the morning off telling him to only go in the afternoon, and then to the nightclub he worked at night. Unfortunately he still needed to have two jobs and Gordon hadn't given him the rest of the week off.

"So, when are you going to tell to the rest of the house you're dating Cas?" Jo sat next to him on the couch joining him watching some series recaps he hadn't watched before called ' _Hannibal_ '. He was finding it quite addictive; Hugh Dancy - or Will Graham - was very charming even after waking up from a nightmare completely soaked in sweat. 

"Sam already knows." He said continuing to watch the episode. "I'll tell Bobby and Ellen when the time's right." 

"You know, - and Tessa would kill me if she heard me saying this - you two make a lovely couple." She smiled patting Dean's shoulder. 

"Thanks!" He thanked looking around, realizing they were alone. "Where are the others?" 

"My dad's at work. Sam said something about playing with the snow and mom and Cas went out to do something. I think she wants to know more about him. Who knows if when they get home, she already knows about the two lovebirds."

 

 

[Castiel]

 

 

"Can you go get me some bottles of wine, sweetie? I need to go to the butcher." She asked Cas who nodded in agreement. 

He returned with three bottles of red wine finding Ellen at the chocolate aisle. 

"My brother would love to be here right now."

"Oh, he has a sweet tooth, then?" She chuckled, walking along the aisle examining the prices carefully. 

"You have no idea." He smiled following her. 

"Dean's a little bit like that, too. The first time he came to our place, he basically ate the whole pie... Alone." She told laughing. "He's like a son to me, you know?" 

"I'm sure you're like a mother to him, as well."

She gave him a weak smile, "Hardly. His mother was everything to him. No one can replace that hole, Castiel. I consider myself more like an aunt, not mother." 

Cas looked away ashamed, he never really got much from Dean about his mother, only that she died when he was still a kid. He never really thought about how hard that must have been for Dean to be raised only by his father. 

"You must be very special to him, Castiel." She pulled him back to reality. Cas cocked his head curiously. "Dean always tries to look like he's fantastic. Even when his entire body yells the opposite. He always tries to look like nothing can affect him, that his life is going perfectly well. He uses sarcasm and acts like he can be friends with everyone but he doesn't have many true friends... I guess you already know that by now. So for you to be here - and considering how alive he looks with you around - you must be a rare creature." She explained, putting some chocolate Santa Claus in her kart. "Just be patient with him." 

"I am, ma'am." He assured her. 

"... Special or patient with him?" She asked giving him a curious look. Cas lips parted embarrassed. "I'm just teasing you, kiddo. Relax."

 

 

[Sam]

 

 

_One snow angel._

_Two snow angels._

_Three snow angels._

Sam sighed resting on the snow, sinking a little. He couldn't have that kind of fun if he was at home with John.

But now John was home alone... And possibly paranoid.

He felt his phone buzzing on his pocket. He picked up. 

"Hi, shortie." He greeted tenderly. 

 _"Hi, teddy bear."_  Jessica answered back with a cute laugh.  _"How are the holidays going?"_

"Great! I'm with my brother and his boyfriend at my 'uncle's'. What about you?"

 _"_ Yourbrother’s _boyfriend?"_

Sam nodded and when he realized she couldn't see him he mentally face-palmed himself, "Yeah, shortie. He has a  _boyfriend._ "

" _Oh well... Cool, I guess... Anyway, I still owe you a dinner, remember?"_

"That's why you're calling?"

 _"_ _What_ _else should I be calling for?"_  Sam noticed a joking tone in her voice. 

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Stupid me!" He played along. "So... When's the dinner?" 

_"Tomorrow. I'd invite you for the Christmas Eve but my family is going to be here, so the house's full."_

"No problem, Jess. Tomorrow's great!"

_"Okay, bye."_

"Bye, shortie."

 

 

[Castiel]

 

 

They ate Lasagna for dinner and Cas was in Dean's room watching him getting dressed for work. He couldn't get over how fit Dean was even now, not being at his best. 

As Dean raised his arms up to dress in a clean black t-shirt, Cas noticed something on Dean's inside left upper arm. 

"What is that?" He asked looking at his arm. 

"What?" Dean asked back absently. 

He got up and grabbed his arm, " _Angels are watching over you."_ He read the line. "I didn't know you had any tattoos." 

Dean shrugged, "Well, now you do." He smiled sadly not giving too much of a talk about it. 

"What's the meaning of it, with the two... Graves?" Cas questioned intrigued. He wanted to know more about the boy he was dating. 

Dean touched the two draws of graves, one on each side of the phrase, with his thumb and middle finger, sadly smiling, 

"My mom used to tell me this every night before sleep. It was the last thing she said to me... Then she died on the fire."

"But there are two graves..." Cas continued touching them too. 

"Back then I had one more brother. Adoptive one. He died that day, too." He deepened his fingers against the tattoo. "I guess the angels are watching over them now." 

Cas could tell Dean was almost crying, so he hugged him. 

Just that. 

No words, nothing, just that hug. 

Dean practically burrowed his head in Cas' shoulder, even though Cas was shorter than him. 

"It's okay, Dean. They're in peace." Cas comforted him, caressing his hair and Dean just nodded and looked at Cas, with a weak smile. 

"I should get going." He changed the subject, putting a plaid shirt in tones of blue on and a black leather jacket on top of it. He stopped at the door of his room. "I love you." 

Cas smiled and nodded. 

He waited and after Dean left he sighed audibly. It was the third time, if he counted it right, that Dean had told him he loved him and Cas just tensed up without being able to say those three words back at the boy he admired. 

Why couldn't he say them back? He knew why. He just thought that his ghosts from his past were already gone, but they weren't, and he felt unprotected, scared. 

Dean was everything to him but those three words were something Cas forbade himself of saying ever again.

 

 

_~24th December 2014~_

 

 

 _"_ A wolf with money?" Dean asked desperate. He was almost ripping his hair off. "Cas, draw something that fucking makes sense!" 

They were playing the "Pictionary" game and Cas was the one drawing that round. 

Cas kept drawing $$'s and buildings with a wolf at the center. He drew a pen, a tuxedo, a... Penis? 

"Wait, wait, I know!" Jo jumped out of her armchair. "The Wolf of Wall Street!" 

Cas smiled passing her the blue marker of the board and sitting next to Dean. 

She started scratching some lines and the rest of them kept in silence, forcing their minds to understand what she was doing. 

"A strange robot?" Dean hinted mindlessly and frowned, getting up to see it closer as if it would make him understand it better. 

"It seems more like a weird trashcan with a plunger." Bobby grumbled. 

"You aren't that attractive too, grumpy, and I'm not here calling you sink utensils, am I,  _sponge?_ " Ellen mocked, kissing him in the cheek. The others laughed. 

Jo continued: a bow tie... A screwdriver... An old police box. 

"That's easy... " Cas yawned to exemplify how trivial that was and leaned against Dean's ear, whispering something. 

"Doctor  _who?_ I didn't get the last part, Cas." Dean replied frowning. 

Cas shook his head, "You're so silly!" and, forgetting the fact they were not official for the entire house, he kissed him. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Bobby snapped madly. 

The whole room stopped. 

 _'Oh, crap!'_  They both thought, turning at the sassy old man. 

"Bobby, I--We--" Dean stuttered frightened. 

"We're together, sir." Cas helped him out, squeezing Dean's hand. 

"I figured that much, kid. I was talking to giraffe over there, sneaking to open the presents." He looked back to the younger Winchester bending over the boxes and bags. "It isn't midnight yet, ya idjit!" 

"So... You're okay with it?" Dean asked still in shock. 

"Your ass's the one on the fire, not mine, kid." Bobby shrugged. The way he said it made Dean and Cas blush. Jo almost rolled on the floor laughing, Ellen gave Bobby a look and Sam made an appalled and disgusted grimace - he was way too young to listen to such things. 

"Aren't you a ray of sunshine!" Ellen said chuckling. "These are the moments I remember why I married you." She joked. 

"Well, you're here because you want to." Bobby went to the kitchen grabbing a beer. "You want one, dear?" 

"No. I'm done with alcohol for today." She tenderly smiled at him sitting where he previously was. 

"Ellen, can we, please, open the gifts now?" Sam asked yawning. 

She checked the time, "Of course, kid. It's almost midnight. Go nuts!" 

The rest left their seats and ran to the tree.

Sam was the first one taking his gifts:

_-The third book of The Hunger Games trilogy (Dean's)_

_-A Harry Potter sweater (Jo's)_

_-The newest OneRepublic CD (Cas')_

_-Some regular clothes (Bobby and Ellen's)_

"Awesome!" He gasped, holding his new things in excitement, "You guys, nailed it!"

 

The next one was Dean:

_-A necklace with a golden face (Sam's)_

_-A Led Zeppelin IV vinyl (Cas')_

_-Some money (Bobby and Ellen decided they'd prefer to let Dean choose what to do with it)_

_-A box of condoms (Jo's)_

"What?" She laughed when the others looked at her. "He'll need them!" 

"These are great! Yours included, Jo." Dean winked and sat on the couch completely in love with the vinyl on his hand and the necklace already put. "Thank you."

 

It was Cas' time. Yes, they bought him gifts too:

_-The last season of Game of Thrones (Sam's)_

_-A gorgeous homemade painting of a beach (Jo's)_

_-Some money like with Dean_

_-A cream trench coat (Dean's)_

 

"Wow, I... I don't know what to say." He smiled flattered. 

"Check the pockets." Dean suggested. 

Cas did what he said and felt something cold touching his hand. He took it out. 

It was a silver ring with an engraving of a pair of black wings and at the inside the inscription  _'You are my angel'._

"Oh my God, Dean, it's--" His lips parted and Cas kept staring at the ring. "It's perfect!" 

"Just like you." Dean cuddled with him, embracing him. "Merry Christmas, Cas."

"Merry Christmas."

 

 

_~25th December 2014~_

 

 

"Dean... " Cas moaned wrapping his arms around Dean. 

Since everyone knew about them, they started sleeping at the same room. 

Dean grumbled, sinking deeper under the sheets, "Let me sleep, Cas."

Cas went silent for a moment and then sat on top of his boyfriend, pulling the sheets down, "C'mon, Dean, wake up." 

"I'm tired, Cas. Let me  _sleeeeep_." He asked fighting to have the covers up again. 

"You're tired or sleepy? 'Cause I know a way to fully wake you up." Cas flirted raising one eyebrow. 

Dean mumbled something Cas didn't understand. 

"Ok, then." Cas simply said. In an abrupt move Cas ripped off the covers from Dean and kept sitting on him, holding his wrists, pushing them over Dean's head. 

Dean groaned annoyed. 

Cas bit Dean’s earlobe and slowly sucked it. Dean lightly writhed, outlining a smile. 

"Do you still wanna sleep?" He whispered. 

"It depends." He answered still with a sleepy voice. "Is that the best you got?"

Cas laughed and his mouth slid to his neck, kissing him. Dean moaned tilting his head to give more space to Cas' kisses. The blue-eyed boy continued to kiss him hard and seductively until he started sucking his skin until a dark-red to purple hickey started to form. 

"Cas--"

"Shh. You make me do this, big boy."

To unbutton Dean's sleep shirt, Cas had to free his wrists but Dean kept them were they were, laying against the headboard of the bed, enjoying the moment. 

Slowly and almost to tease Dean, Cas unbuttoned his shirt, button by button and started licking Dean's naked and muscular abdomen. He got to one of his nipples and bit him. Dean finally opened his eyes and looked at Cas who was still kissing him endlessly along his chest. He was now at his navel and his hands went up, clawing him seductively. 

"Oh God--" Dean moaned moving his legs and licking his lips in supplication. 

"You shouldn't say Daddy's name in vain..." Cas teased maliciously smiling.

He returned to the top, sitting on Dean's hip, feeling his erection against his. 

Their lips finally touched. Cas' tongue touched Dean's lips asking for entrance which Dean gave with no complaint. 

Dean felt Cas' wet tongue finding his, their saliva becoming one. He was heavily breathing and Cas could feel Dean's hot body touching his. 

They continued kissing, now more hungrily, desired. 

Dean's hands were no longer resting, being now on Cas' hair and back, pulling him even closer, gripping his hair with hardness and sinking his nails on Cas' skin. 

He [Dean] then raised his hips, restricting his hard dick between Cas' legs, he too already hard.

His hands went to Cas' shirt, taking it off hurriedly, wildly, wanting more of his boyfriend. 

Cas continued kissing Dean and moved his hips back and forth, moaning Dean's name. The friction pulled a moan from both of their lips and hardened them even more. 

Dean forced himself to sit with Cas on his lap. He spread long wet kisses along Cas' collarbone, finishing with a strongly sexy bite on the black-haired boy's chin. 

"You make me so crazy... So hard for you, Cas." Dean moaned, loudly sighing. 

Cas only responded by pulling Dean's head back with his hand and biting his ear, "Prove it!" 

Dean gave Cas a look of desire. His green eyes shining with lust and his lips redden and seemed to get bigger. 

He embraced Cas in his arms and laid him on the bed, getting on top of him, bucking his hips into Cas' and the other one crossed his legs around Dean's waist. 

Dean kissed him ardently. Cas bit his lip and Dean smiled continuing the kiss until Cas sucked his tongue. 

Dean's dick was throbbing for more space. 

His hands slowly moved to the beginning of Cas' pajamas pants and gripped them on its fold and he crawled off bed taking them out with him, leaving Cas only by his boxers, now extremely tight. 

Dean licked and bit his lips looking at Cas' hot naked body, moaning. 

He was taking his pants off but Cas stopped him, pulling Dean to the bed. He stood on his knees looking at the boy now in front of him. 

Cas put a hand on Dean's bulge, rubbing it, gently. 

Dean shut his eyes trying to hold a loud moan. Cas kept doing linear moves, now faster and harder, and Dean was biting his lips with all of his strength. 

"I wanna hear it, Dean." Cas teased, raising a brow. To help he pulled Dean's right middle finger to his mouth, licking and sucking it. 

"Cas--" He moaned, breathing out. "Fuck!" 

He tossed Cas onto bed and took his pants off, throwing them to the floor. 

Cas looked at him, fucking him with his eyes. 

Dean kissed him again greedily, possessing him, breathing Cas' essence. 

Cas slid Dean's boxers down and Dean kicked them to the floor, doing the same at Cas' while looking for the box Jo had given to him. 

"Fuck me." Cas moaned into Dean's ear. "Fuck me so hard..." 

Dean opened the box and took one condom out, putting it on as fast as possible and adjusted Cas into him, finally having him all. 

Cas lightly grunted in pain, but Dean went easy on him, even though his mind was blowing and his body shaking of arousal, need. 

He bent over Cas, kissing him calmly, calming down the boy beneath him shutting his eyes and biting his lips. 

When he saw that Cas was more comfortable he sped up and deepened his penetration as their breathing increased its rhythm and loudness. 

Cas gripped the sheets like if his life depended on it, moaning with Dean's harsh entrances. 

It hurt. More than he was expecting, but that pain wasn't taking out the perfection and the pleasure of that moment. 

He opened his eyes. Dean was looking him like if Cas was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen.  _Correction:_ Cas was the most wonderful thing Dean had ever seen. And he loved him, with all he had. 

A little after that Cas came and then finally Dean, panting loudly. 

They looked at each other, memorizing their faces, Dean's sweaty face and Cas relaxed body. 

Dean gave him a last kiss before getting up to take a shower, sighing, "I love you. So much."

 

~

 

They left the room around lunch time, an arm around the waist of each other. 

"It looks like I won." Cas smiled. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I took your sleep away." Cas explained, kissing him. 

"Well, he didn't know I was dating a sex beast..." 

They both laughed, doing the stairs down and walking to the living room. 

An awkward silence fell upon them. 

"Is something wrong?" Dean intrigued letting go of Cas. 

Jo laughed lowly glaring at Sam seeing him making a horrified grimace. Bobby was the one answering. 

"Ahem... Next time try to keep the noise down... Old houses, thin walls, boys." He tried to stay cool. 

Dean shook his head blushing along with Cas. 

"I told you he'd need the condoms." Jo laughed. Sam choked on his chocolate milk making Jo laugh even more. 

"Somebody get me a gun... " Sam said and the others looked at him. "So I can kill myself and stop listening to the sound of my brother having sex." He grabbed his mug and shook his head with a sick but innocent grimace. 

It only made Cas and Dean blush more than before.


	9. Chapter - Happy Grueling Year

_~31st December/1st January~_

 

**5...4...3...2...1...**

"Happy New Year!"

The glasses were raised and everybody toasted with laughs and smiles at the sound of the fireworks in the distance; exploding in the sky in a show of colors and patterns, welcoming the beginnings of a new year. Dean even let Sam try some champagne, which he didn't hate but didn't love either, preferring to drink some juice instead.

Cas had his arm tucked around Dean waistband and Dean's arm around Cas’s shoulder, each one with a glass in hand and their heads leaning on the other, sharing whispering giggles in between, with one or two kisses at the end. Jo smiled at the view and took that moment to secretly take a picture of them with her cellphone to later show them.

With the main celebration made, Ellen appeared from the kitchen with her famous apple pie and invited everyone to take a slice.

Cas felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

 

**Bitch (^_-) 12:01 am.**

_'Happy New Year, Cas!!! :) Hope you're enjoying your time with that guy... Miss you._

_Xoxo'_

 

**Castiel Novak 12:03 am.**

_'Happy New Year, sis. I am... With Dean ;)_

_We're together, so you can throw some confetti now._

_Miss you too.'_

 

Cas then looked at Dean, who was happily eating his pie, with a huge grin in his face and his eyes shut as he kept eating his favorite dessert. Some apple cream was making a _'creamstache'_ on Dean’s face, making Castiel giggle.

"Here." Cas said passing his thumb on the spot and took it to his mouth before kissing Dean. "You are so sloppy." He smiled between their kiss.

"Okay, usual suspects in the corner." Bobby called positioning his old camera. "Go on."

Ellen puckered, leaning on the doorframe, "A family picture, Singer? I didn't know you were lame, love." She chuckled but called Jo to her side.

"I need something to remember your ugly faces in the future." He grumbled finishing setting the timer. "Princesses over there, move your asses here, fast!" He called Cas and Dean, that lazily joined the other Singers and the younger Winchester.

"Now, remember when I made Dean try some of my girlish shorts!" Jo laughed and the others laughed at the time the flash came out, capturing that moment. Cas laughed too, imagining how stupid Dean must have looked on those.

His phone buzzed again.

 

**Bitch (^_-) 12:05 am.**

_'Asdfghjkl o.o *-* >:D ^_^ Fangirling over here! Uhuh :3 So if you two are officially together, which is fantastic btw, I totally need to come up with a name for the new couple!! You are so my OTP, now :D Yay!_

_I may be a liiittle drunk by now, FYI ;)'_

 

Cas smiled looking at his sister's text. Dean was reading it too, but Cas didn't notice already typing the answer.

Dean laid his plate on the table and decided to read his own text messages he felt he had received a few minutes ago. They were probably just some Happy New Year's from his schoolmates, but it would be nice to reply to them, good manners are always important.

 

**Abaddon Wheeler 12:02 am.**

_'Hey, you! Holidays almost over, sweetheart. Can't wait to see you at school, dummy.  Don't be fucking rude and answer me._

_Kiss.'_

 

She started texting him a few days back, right after Christmas day. He never replied to any of her messages, which meant she didn't know about him dating Cas.

He huffed, glaring at the phone with a roll of his eyes, when another text message arrived.

 

**Dad 12:07 am.**

_'I hope you're having fun, 'cause when you come home we'll have a little chat._

_I ran out of money, so pack your shit and come home.'_

 

He angrily put the phone into his jean's back pocket. The new year was already starting to suck, and it had been only a couple of minutes since it started. He breathed in deeply, calming himself down, and returned to the group, getting himself a beer, forcing a smile in his face. There was no need to pass his mad mood on to the others.

Cas’s phone buzzed once more.

 

**Bitch (^_-) 12:09 am.**

_'Destiel! That's it, it's perfect. Destiel for the win!!! :3_

_Oh, and Gabe said for you to go fuck yourself or to go fuck him. >:D_

_Go get him!'_

 

"Is it just me or has your sister started shipping us?" Dean smirked hugging Cas from behind.

"It's impolite to read other people's text messages, Dean..." Cas rebuked with a mocking face, cuddling into Dean’s grip.

"Tell Gabe he is already late on that." Dean winked, kissing him on the back of his neck. " _Very late_." He emphasized turning Cas at him, letting his hands roam Cas’s body until finally resting on his ass, groping it firmly.

Cas tangled his arms around Dean's neck and kissed him, "You know... We still have a not so full box of condoms to use, upstairs." He teased in a whisper.

"You're such a sex addict!" Dean laughed, saying it a little louder than he should, what caused the others to look at them. He laughed again and gently kissed his forehead, "I have to resolve a thing, I'll be right back."

"Now? In the middle of the night?" Cas asked concerned, seeing Dean leave the living room.

Dean nodded, not stopping his pace, "Yes, Cas. I'll be back in a minute." He heavily did the stairs up, disappearing into the darkness, looking at his phone screen.

"I hope everything's okay." Cas commented looking at the rest of the room sighing.

The Singers exchanged looks, being used to that situation. It sure was something to do with John. Sam sighed, plunking to the couch, he was used to that. They all fell into silence and Castiel realized it was something serious, but maybe it was better if he didn’t meddle.

Suddenly they heard Dean shouting at the phone. Cas tried to understand what he was saying, but the sound was stuffy. Then they heard something shattering onto the floor. With that, Cas ran upstairs and went to the room, seeing Dean bent over the windowsill and the lamp broken on the floor.

"Dean, are you okay?" He asked while walking into the darkness, the only source of illumination coming from outside the window.

"Yes, Cas. Don't worry." His voice was hoarse and blunt, and even though Cas couldn’t see Dean’s face he could tell by Dean’s shoulders that he was tense.

He gave a few steps forward, "I--"

"I think I'm going to sleep." He said finally moving from the window and started undressing from his plaid shirt and sat on the bed taking his boots off. "We'll pack our things tomorrow and go back home." He lied down in the bed. Cas sat beside him caressing his hair.

"Was it your dad?" Dean remained in silence. "You know you can talk to me... "

Dean shifted in the bed looking at Cas, "I should have expected this." He sighed and Cas narrowed his eyes confused. "He's a drunk son of a bitch. And I came here, leaving him home alone with a fridge full of beers and some cash to eat. He ran out of beers and the money... I don't know what he does with the money... I only know he's pissed and most likely drunk and he uses me as his punching bag. The more I piss him off, the worse it will be when I get home."

"Dean--"

"Don't. Don't say you're sorry or how wrong he's acting with me. I don't need it." He hissed looking away. "I just want to sleep, okay?"

 

~

 

"Castiel, it was a pleasure to meet you, boy." Ellen hugged him while Dean was putting their luggage in the trunk. "You're welcome to come here anytime you want, sweetie."

They all hugged each other and finally the three visitors got in the Impala and took off, most of the travel silent and awkwardly uncomfortable, with Dean concentrating on the road, not even turning up the radio or putting some of his own music collection. They left Cas at his place, having Dean promised to come back later to be together so he could talk to him better.

When the two brothers got inside their house it looked like if they had entered a pigsty: empty bottles all over the place, pizza boxes, stinky clothes on the floor, a puddle of what seemed to be... Dean didn't want to know. _Really_.

John was asleep on the couch.

"Wow..." It was the only thing Sam said incredibly, still examining what was supposed to be his house.

"Home, _crappy_ home." Dean sarcastically smiled; slowly shutting the door behind him to not wake up his dad. "Let's put our things in our room before he wakes up." He whispered in a tone of command and Sam nodded grabbing his bags to go to the room.

Dean knew it would be him cleaning up that mess. He also knew he was going to suffer when his dad wakes up. A lot. So he asked Sam to stay inside the room, with the excuse of him unpacking their bags, however, Sam himself knew the real reason.

Was Dean almost finishing cleaning the floor when John grunted opening the eyes that instantly fell onto his oldest son.

"You came back! _The bitch is back_!" He laughed plodding along the couch until getting to his feet. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Father, for the love of God, leave me clean this mess."

"You're right." John kicked the mop away. "If you hadn't gone to that bellied fat old ass, this house wouldn't be like this, boy."

Dean gave a few steps back, glaring his dad, "It was only for a few days. Nobody died. I just wanted to give Sammy the Christmas he deserves."

"The Christmas he--" He laughed choking Dean with his breath of alcohol. He then hit Dean on the face. Dean stood still. "Christmas is to be spent with your father, not with a man who gives shelter to street dogs like you."

"The fuck are--" This time John made his hand into a fist, raising it against his son's face.

"Don't you answer to me! Shut up and listen! You filthy animal... Leave his own dad alone at home, when there are people after him... With _that_ money? What was I supposed to do with that, huh? That's what you are working for? Do something good for once in your life!"

"I'm sorry, sir." Dean apologized looking to his feet.

" _'I'm_ _sorry_ , _sir_.’" John imitated his son, shaking his hands in the air with a mocking tone.

He tossed Dean to the ground walloping him, kicking him in the stomach. All that Dean felt were strong hits against his skin and he cringed, trying to protect himself. Although, he couldn't stop that feeling of sickness, suffocation, pain. John seemed to be stronger when he was alcoholized.

He stopped when he felt satisfied, catching a half-full beer from the table, taking a sip of it and looking at the dark-blonde laying shrunk on the floor, hugging his belly, holding back a howling of pain and hate towards the man who called himself his dad.

He took another sip and threw the bottle to the floor, that shattered into pieces, having some of them hit Dean on his face, who closed his eyes in time to protect his view from the glasses, "You're excused. Now clean this shit before I whip you with a damn belt."

 

[Castiel]

 

He was the first to get home. The rest of his family still was at Pontiac. He didn't mind it, if they were there they would probably just irritate him, so he thanked the fact of still having some more alone days at home. He took his things to his room, unpacking them. The first thing he took out was the copy of the picture Bobby took. He looked at it, smiling at the kind and smiling faces at the paper. They were all so relaxed, happy, so united and alive. He looked around and decided that one of his walls was too empty, so he just glued the picture there. He would, from now on, put all of his pictures with his friends and with Dean there. It would be his window to his world, the place he was happy. He sat on the bed, looking at the wall: it was the beginning of a new life: a life with Dean at his side.

He sighed with happiness and went back to his bags, taking the rest out.

The trench coat was there. The trench coat he adored at the moment he saw it… Because it was Dean who gave it to him. He put him on and looked himself in the mirror. It fitted him well, perfectly well. Then he had an idea. He ran to one of his wardrobe's drawers and grabbed the blue tie his father had given him when he turned 16. He had never used it before, truth to be told; he never found something that looked okay with it, but now, with the trench coat, he found it to be perfect.

He walked around with it for a while, getting used to the feeling of the tie, lightly tightening his neck. He loosened it a little to feel less strangled.

"I'm almost a respectable man." He chuckled looking again at the mirror. "If only this hair wasn't such a mess." He complained combing his messy hair that always looked like bed hair or like Dean liked to call it: sex hair.

He played with his new ring, spinning it on his finger, when he thought of Dean. He stared at it, with the engraving of the wings staring back at him. He wished he really was an angel and that those black wings were his. So he could fly away with Dean and protect him anytime he needed. So he could save him like Dean saved Cas when he showed him it was okay to feel again.

 

 

~ _5th January_ ~

 

Cas and Dean were inside the Impala at the school's parking lot. It was their first day of school after the Christmas' break.

Dean had told Cas he hadn't told Abaddon about them, yet, because he wanted it to be one of those bad-ass scenes that you only see on films. He wanted to come clean in front of everyone. No more secrets.

They looked at each other and Cas gave Dean a reassuring smile and they finally got out of the car, walking along the sidewalk full of students talking about how amazing their holidays were and stopped at the entrance of the school.

The gate to hell was just one step away from their reach.

"Are you ready?" Dean asked, not so sure himself, and took one last deep breath.

Castiel nervously smiled; him too uncertain if they should do it, "As long as I'm with you, always."

It made Dean smile, relaxing a little and they entwined their hands, opening the big gray doors and walked in. They didn't stop, giving one step after another, while going through the hall and some students were looking at them, calling others with their elbows. Slowly the hall became silent when Abaddon stopped in front of them.

"What the _heck_ you think you're doing, Dean?" She crossed her arms, giving the couple a burning gaze.

"What does it look like to you?" He said with his most annoying grin.

She shortened the distance between her and Dean. The rest of the hall kept watching the scene, "We had a deal, _Deannie_." She whispered, low enough so only them would hear. "You don't want to do this."

Dean smirked, "Abby, it was you-" He raised his voice so everyone would hear him "-who came to me, wanting me to be your boyfriend even knowing I don't swing for your team. Not the opposite. It isn't my problem that you are a sick, desperate chick." He shrugged, gripping Cas closer, who was silently watching his boyfriend.

Some other students started whispering between giggles.

" _Excuse me?_ " If a look could kill, Dean would be dead by now.

He laughed to hide his nervousness, "You're not really my type, Abby." He gave a step to his left, so she wouldn't be on his way and started walking away with Cas.

"I will destroy you!" She roared, "Everybody's gonna know your dirty secrets. Especially yours... _Cassie_."

They stopped and Dean looked over his shoulder, "No one believes in your crap. You're just pissed because I chose a man over street trash." He hissed. Those were the same words she had used to 'clean' the 'rumor' Tessa spread. Well, change 'man' for 'woman', that is. "It's over, Abaddon, get over it."

 

[Sam]

 

"Hey, Sam!" His redheaded friend greeted him, sitting beside him, next to the classroom door.

"Hey, Charlie. How was your Christmas?"

"Great!" She smiled widely. "I received lots of things I wanted. Yours?"

He shrugged, remembering his return home, "It had its moments."

Then they saw Jessica at the end of the hall. The two got up and went to the blonde girl overloaded with books. She was smiling at her two friends, walking to the place they were. Suddenly her smile vanished and Sam was tossed to the ground, falling on his knees.

"Watch out, moose." The small fat bully mocked not stopping his pace and purposely stepping on Sam's hand.

With him were Meg, Ruby, and Gerald - Crowley's new pet. He stroked Jessica's cheek when he walked through her and glared at the Winchester who was being helped by his geek friend. Charlie grumbled something about Crowley deserving a Dalek invasion at his place, which he didn't understand because of his lack of culture, and soon the three were alone again.

"Teddy bear, are you okay?"

"Yes, Jess. I'm fine." He smiled getting to his feet and helping his girlfriend with her books.

The hall where they were quickly was filled up with teenagers on their way to classes and some more punctual teachers already going to their classrooms, earlier than the shown in the schedules. Among the crowd of noisy teens were Dean and Cas leaning against some lockers kissing. Of course, it made some more curious teens to gossip around them.

"Oh, my sweet Dumbledore! Your brother is _awesome_!" Charlie yelled looking at Dean. As she was a lesbian, seeing a gay couple was to her one of the bravest acts someone could do at high school.

Sam laughed, shaking his head, "Try to spend an entire Christmas in the middle of that and the awesomeness will disappear... The only thing that won't disappear will be the sounds... I don't wanna think about it."

"You're being childish, Sam. They like each other, of course, there will be... Sounds." She laughed hitting Sam with her shoulder.

 

[Castiel]

 

He couldn't stop the shaking. Both of euphoria and of fear. But there he was, kissing Dean Winchester, the hottest guy in the entire school... And possibly of the entire town, country, continent, hemisphere, world, solar system, galaxy, universe. And it was the best sensation he could ever feel.

They were finally official and it was fantastic. The fact Dean no longer was the 'I don't want them to know' kind of guy, only showed how much important Castiel was to him. He couldn’t be happier, but the old memories of Pontiac didn't leave him, they would never stop haunting him.

_What if something happens? What if Dean regrets this? What if we are attacked and bullied? What if…_

Cas wasn't ready to live that hell again.

"...Cas, are you okay?" Dean's voice stopped his thoughts.

He was so off he didn't realize he was already sitting at his desk.

"Yes, I am... I'm just a little thoughtful." He confessed sadly looking at the window.

"Why... _Erm_... Thoughtful about us?" Dean asked worriedly. Cas nodded affirmatively. "Don't, Cas. Don't think. I know how you are. It doesn't matter what happens as long as we're together. 'Til the end of the line, remember?" He put his hand on Cas’s chin to see his face and gave him a calming kiss on his lips.

For some reason not so mysterious or calming the class fell into silence, looking at them.

"WHAT? You never saw two people kissing?! You vultures!" Dean snorted facing the class. Gradually the usual background noise restarted and their teacher arrived. "See? No reason to be worried." He assured with a confident voice although his eyes gave him in.

They both knew it wouldn't be easy.

 

And easy it wasn't. At their very first break, over half school knew about them and the bad gay jokes started. Dean was once in a while glaring at some of his schoolmates who were going too far, intimidating them to stop, but there were others that were taller and stronger than him, only considering by their looks, where his glare wasn't effective.

To avoid derogatory jokes or comments, the two boys sat on the sidewalk behind the gym building - the place usually only frequented by the angry, drugged teens and the people who smoked. Basically, folks with their own shit going on to give importance to a simple homo couple.

"Well, at least we weren't thrown into some dumpster, yet."  Dean joked shrugging.

Castiel gave him a death glare, "Dean--"

"C'mon, Cas, loosen up a little." He tightened Cas’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

"I... It was just a bad joke." Cas explained, shifting his legs to other position.

"It looks like you were thrown into one, already." Dean chuckled, trying to make Cas laugh. The only response he had was his stare. "Really?! Now I feel like a douche."

Cas shrugged, not wanting to remember those days and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the brick wall.

Two boys passed by, ignoring them.

"This place ain't that bad..." Dean continued, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I mean if we forget the fact that we are probably sitting on pee and who knows what else--"

"Cas, don't be so critical. We are the intruders, here." He winked, tucking an arm around Cas’s waist and kissing his cheek, then temple and rubbing his nose on Cas’s cheek before biting his ear.

A girl interrupted them, "Sorry... Does any of you have cigarettes? I ran out of mine." She asked not bothered with the guy on guy scene that was going on.

"We don't sm--" Cas started, but Dean shifted on his spot, rummaging in his pockets.

"Here." Dean smiled passing her the almost empty pack.

She grabbed it, took one out and returned the pack to its owner.

"Thanks, dude." She smiled, lightening it up. She pulled in, a moment of pause, and then the smoke came out of her mouth. "I never saw you two around here. You are that football guy, right?" She asked leaning against the wall.

Cas was silently eating himself alive. Dean had promised.

"Was. Now I have other things more important in mind." He corrected her smiling.

"Nice. No offense, but the football team is just a bunch of brainless guys trying to hook up with the largest number of chicks... Or guys" She pointed with her hand at the blue-eyed boy "If you swing that way." She chuckled taking the cigarette to her mouth again. Dean gave her a smile. "Well, I see you guys around. If you need anything, like anything at all, come here and ask for Pamela." She said gesturing to herself and walked away to a group of six guys.

Dean followed her with his eyes, "She's nice. ' _Anything at all_ '." He chuckled at those last words. Cas remained silent. "What's wrong?"

"You promised, Dean." He coldly replied, forcing himself to get up from the ground. "You promised you'd stop smoking."

"I know what I promised, Cas." He calmly agreed.

Cas narrowed his eyes, eying Dean, "That's it? You're not going to try to excuse yourself?" He crossed his arms on his chest.

Dean joined Cas and got up, "I'll repeat what I said on our date at the park: I don't do promises I can't keep. I promised I'd stop and I am stopping... Gradually. I just keep the pack with me, just in case I have an extreme case of anxiety. It's not that easy to stop, you know? Especially when it helps you to calm down."

Cas didn't break the glare. Oh, he was mad, very mad. If Dean didn't want to stop he shouldn't have promised. And that's why Cas was so angry.

"Okay, fine. I will throw it away!" He grumbled going to the trash. He looked one more time at his hand before dropping it into the middle of the garbage. "Better?"

Cas gave him a skeptical look, "How do I know you won't buy a new one at the moment you leave school?"

"You don't." He smirked a one-sided smile, what made Cas cough a snort, irritated. "But I won't. I promise." He gripped his boyfriend by his waist to kiss him. Cas fought back but quickly gave in, kissing him.

Dean smiled on his lips and slid his hands to Cas’s ass, putting them into his jeans' back pockets. Suddenly he felt Cas grabbing his crotch but not in a pleasant way but in a painful one instead.

"You better keep that promise, Winchester. Or next time I'll cut your balls out."

Dean whimpered nodding desperate, groaning in pain. Pamela's group laughed seeing that scene.

"And I was here thinking that the blonde was the man of the relationship." She yelled, mocking with them.

"Blow me, Pamela." Dean replied, being now free of Cas’s grip, bending over holding himself against the wall.

"You don't look like you can have that right now, big boy." She laughed and Cas laughed too.

 

[Dean]

 

For a not so tall or strong boy, Cas put Dean in his place. It was kind of embarrassing to Dean to see how much power Cas had over him, and how easy it was for him to make him suffer. Like... ‘ _We were in the middle of a fucking kiss and Cas just..._ ’ It was still hurting and Cas was just laughing along with Pamela.

At least he was laughing. It was the first time since they got to school that day, so he wouldn't complain.

Dean had promised, he knew that. And he was slowly doing his promise, but his last days weren't easy and proof of that were the marks and bruises hidden underneath his clothes. His face had some scratches and one or another cut, result of the glasses that went straight to his face, but Dean lied saying it was caused by some fight he had to stop between two drunk men during one of his shifts at the nightclub.

 

After English class, they decided to have lunch at Ellen's saloon "Roadhouse" and went back to school for their PE class.

Jo and Joshua, or Roadkill, like he was now called by everyone, after he almost hit a cat, formed a group with them so they wouldn't feel alone while the rest of the class just kept staring at them.

"Don't mind them." Joshua said sitting on the bench beside Dean, on the other side was Jo, receiving looks from Tessa and Lisa.

Some guys kept staring at them.

"Last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid!" Dean yelled at those guys and they looked away.

"Well, that's not true... I don't remember looking at you _that_ way..." Cas murmured confused and Jo almost cried laughing. Joshua just turned his head at Cas in shock and then he started laughing too.

Dean shook his head blushing, "Cas, you don't need to take everything so literally. It was just a way to bother them."

Cas’s mouth parted in acknowledge and he laughed then too.

"Don't mind them. If you want my opinion, I think that what you did was very brave. They wish they were half of the man you are."

"Thanks, Joshua."

"And now, the girls wish they were as well." Jo mocked winking at Cas. "You're a lucky one, Castiel. You basically stole the hottest guy in this school."

"Hey, I'm right here... Right here." Joshua scoffed.

"Relax, you'll have all the girls now, chocolate cake." She smiled, winking at the teen.

After that class, Dean said Cas his goodbyes and went to work, leaving him with Kevin, Ash, and Garth.

 

[Castiel]

 

They all sat on the grass at one of the many outside spaces of the school, involved by many other groups minding their own business.

"So, does that mean you are the Queen of the school?" Garth asked drinking some of his orange juice. The others gave him a look. "What?! He's dating Dean aka the Sex King of this place. Hell, he's the Master King of everything." He continued, shrugging.

"I wouldn't put it that way." Cas sighed sadly. "He doesn't have that many 'fans' to be _The_ Guy of this school now that everyone knows that he isn't straight." He made a pause. "Which can be good, I would hate to be dating a cocky guy but... It won't be easy for him."

"Well," Ash intervened, "he's talked about. Seems like a popular person, right there. Everyone still knows him. They'll get used to it... As long as you don't do the big bang with him in front of everyone." He mocked referring to the time some couple was caught doing the thing at the back of block D. Cas didn't understand that reference, it was before his time. "That would be wild, man!" He laughed at the image playing in his head.

"Ash, can you please be a little less creepy, please?" Kevin admonished him. "Castiel, it doesn't matter if people accept or not. What matters is that you are together and happy. Don't let anyone get in the way. Especially those punks." He nodded in the direction of the football team with their girlfriends.

 

Cas wished it was that easy. He was on his way to the bathroom when Alastair's group surrounded him against the bathroom wall.

"Look who we have here. Where's your lover?"

"Alastair, please--"

"Do you ask Dean, please too, you fag?" Norman stepped closer.

"Just let me go. You don't have to do this." Cas pleaded frightened.

Zachariah held his arms and Alastair showed him his pocketknife with a smile, "Why don't we see what made Dean fell for you?" He stated more than asked. "Lay him on the floor."

Norman and Zachariah forced the Novak onto the cold floor and Metatron - the new football kid - covered his mouth. Alastair unbuttoned Cas’s jeans, pulling them down, leaving Cas on his boxers. He held the small knife against Cas’s thigh ready to carve his skin.

The door slightly opened and Liam sneaked him.

"Hurry. I saw the Principal coming in this direction." He whispered to the group that instantly freed Cas.

"We're not done, Novak." Alastair warned going to the door. "Oh and if you tell any of this to Dean, we'll just make you watch while I carve him." He threatened before leaving the division.

Cas got up and pulled the jeans up and finally allowed the tears that were waiting to fall, to streak down his face.

It was happening... All over again.

_'Why? Why do they have to do this to me?'_

The door opened again. It was the short kid from before, Liam.

"Hey man, are you okay?" He shut the door approaching Cas. "I... Didn't know what to do, so I lied saying the Principal was coming here." He explained. "I was supposed to stay on watch. You know, be part of the team...”

"So why did you help me? If they know you lied--"

"We need to protect each other." He simply said, cutting Cas off. "It's good to know that there are people brave enough to do what I didn't, so..."

"Ohh..." Cas nodded understanding. "Well, thank you. That was very... Helpful of you." He thanked cleaning his face.

"You should go, now. Just in case they remember to come back."

Cas nodded and left Liam behind. It still hurt. Not that Alastair actually cut him, he didn't have time for that, but it hurt. Because he knew that one day he wouldn't be so lucky. One day Alastair would get him and turn him into his piece of work. Worse than that he could go after Dean.

_He could go after Dean._

**_He could go after Dean._ **


	10. School Hell

_~6th January~_

 

**_Gay_ **

**_Fugly_ **

Another sigh, this time louder and longer.

**_Fucker_ **

**_Queer_ **

**_Sick_ **

Keeps the tears contained.

**_Monster_ **

 

Cas read all the paper notes left in his locker during the break before classes. He was starting to regret getting out of the bed that day.

_Different handwriting._

_Different handwriting._

_Different handwriting._

He sighed and crimped the papers on his hand to throw them away not hiding his frustration and slight rage taking over his body. He looked at Dean at the other side of the hall, he too reading something before slamming the locker angrily and threw some papers to the floor.

Cas walked towards Dean.

"Dean..."

"Hey, baby." He kissed him. "Already at school? We only have classes  for the next period."

"I know. I took a break from Gabe. He's at History, right now." Dean looked around. They were alone at the hall, everyone else was at classes. "Are you okay?" Cas asked concerned.

"Me?! I'm awesome!" Dean lied but Cas didn't argue back, and before he could say something, Dean pressed his lips on his. "I love you." He said and smiled grabbing Cas by his waist.

"I know."

At first Dean laughed at the Star Wars reference, kissing Cas’s temple still chuckling. Then he moved his eyes and saw the quiet and sadness… Maybe even with a hint of troubled and guilty. Dean stopped laughed and kept looking at him.

Silence.

Expectant silence.

"And...?" Dean tried to pull out but Cas only bit the inside of his cheek. "Really? I say I love you and you just say “I know?" He growled upset, now getting to the conclusion it wasn’t a reference at all.

"Look, Dean, I--"

"You what, Castiel?"

_'Shit, he's mad. He only calls me Castiel when he's pissed at me.'_

"What, you--you don't love me, is that it? 'Cause this is like the fifth time I say this and you just tense up like that." He pulled Castiel away. "Are we going too fast for your liking, is that it?"

"No, Dean. I just... Can't say those words back to you.

Anger. That's all Dean feels at the moment.

"And why the _hell_ not?" He shouted frustrated, forgetting there were people having class.

 _'Because he doesn't like you, Dean. That's fucking obvious, asshole. He just wants you because of the sex, like everyone else.'_ Dean mentally answered himself.

Cas opened his mouth but Dean raised his hand in a gesture to stop, "Don't answer that, you've already got your point across. I'll just leave, now. Don't bother coming after me." He turned on his heels and left the hall to leave the school.

Cas followed him.

 _'Great, Cas. Real smooth of you... Just say the damn words already.'_ Cas shouted internally while following Dean.

"Dean, wait!" He yelled standing on the stone stairs at the entrance of the school.

"Fuck off." He clenched his teeth not looking at Cas.

"I just can't say those words because it hurts for me to say, not because I do not feel that for you - which I do - but because they remind me of bad times. So it's hard for me to say them. But I do feel the same way you do. I just need to find other ways to say it. Please!" He begged still on the stairs.

Dean finally looked at him, "And why does it hurt for you?" He clenched his jaw.

Some other students that were outside were listening to their conversation very carefully. Gay gossip, always interesting!

"Can we please talk somewhere else?" Cas didn't like to make scenes in public.

"Fine."

 

~

 

"I need you to listen to me until the very end, Dean. Don’t cut me off don't growl, don't _'hmmpff'_ me, nothing. Can you do that?" He asked sitting on the passenger seat of Dean's baby.

Dean just gave him a look to start.

"Well, first of all, love is a very strong word to me. It has a meaning that a lot of people forgot, a meaning that most people don't understand. So I've always had a problem with that word because I can't be sure if people mean it when they say it. And it scares me. Not being sure about something that means so much to me.

Because of that I don't say those three words to a lot of people. Only two, actually. My mom - who loves me _so_ much -" He sarcastically said "- and Balthazar. We were together for 8 months when I said it for the first time and I really meant it. Like I thought he did too. So with time, that word became part of my daily vocabulary. I started telling him that every day. It was the last thing I said to him. The very last one." He looked down at his hands.

"What happened?" Dean asked, now not angry but concerned.

"He was at the hospital - that time I told you about at the roof - and I went to visit him. I got there and his eyes looked at me but they were so empty, so different. I said... ‘I love you’ and he just yelled at me like I was some freak, some monster. He said he didn't know me, that--" He breathed deeply. "The doctor told me he suffered a brain trauma, so he lost part of his memory: me. And the reasons that lead him to the hospital were such a traumatic experience that his brain blocked me out."

"Cas, I'm n--"

"I know. You're not him. You're not going to do that. But what if one day you stop loving me? What if one day you hate me like he did? I can't--" He sobbed.

Dean hugged him, "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm sorry for being a bitch. Don't cry, baby. We'll just find our own way to say that, okay?"

 

_~7th January~_

 

More notes.

 

**_Why don't you just die?_ **

**_You're gross._ **

**_Cocksucker_ **

**_Loser_ **

**_Lard Ass_ **

 

Cas closed his locker, leaving the notes fall to the ground. He didn't pick them up, he just left them there to be stepped by everyone.

Stupid shitty people.

He saw then Dean entering school next to Sam.

"Hey, big boy." Dean kissed him on his forehead. Sam said hi and walked to his friends. Dean's eyes fell to the floor, "You're receiving them too, huh?"

"I just ignore them." **LIE**! "They don't affect me." **LIE**! "I'm with you that's what matters!" He smiled kissing him.

Abaddon passed by them, followed by a dozen of people,

"Oh my god, I'm dying!" She overacted "My wrists, ooh I'm such a looser. Let me just kill myself already!" She looked at Cas laughing, seeing him go pale at her words. The others mocked him too, pointing their fingers at him and spreading gossiping around.

That pulled a trigger! Cas opened his way through the group, disappearing when he turned on a corner.

Dean didn't resist the urge and pushed her back aggressively, "Why don't you go fuck yourself, bitch?" He spat, anger filling his eyes.

"Why don't you go give a blowjob for your boyfriend, _fag_?" She spat back with an evil smile.

"Yeah, at least I have a boyfriend." He said, following the exact same way Cas took moments before.

 

[Castiel]

 

 _'That bitch!'_ He glared at the mirror. _'That stupid slut."_ He slammed a fist against the sink, starting to cry. He held his hands at the cold surface, scratching it while the tears continued his path from his eyes to the white sink. _'Why?'_ He asked himself.

"Why?" He yelled punching the mirror, shattering it. Some blood trickled from his knuckles, dripping to the sink.

He grunted in pain. But he felt relieved. Just for a second. Watching the blood dropping from his hand to somewhere else. He needed more. He needed to feel the pain he missed. Just like that time. Just that one time.

He looked at the wash basin colored with some red drops; some glass shards laid there were reflecting his face, his watered eyes. He grabbed one, the sharpest one.

He kept looking at his own blood before doing his own work when he heard the door doing its normal squeal when it's used. He was gripping the piece of mirror so tight his palm started to bleed.

"Cas-- What the--?" Dean shouted helping him out. Castiel let the mirror fall to the floor. "You're bleeding."

Castiel shook his head still crying, "I'm okay, Dean. I'm okay, I just... I got mad and the mirror was there and--" He tried to explain, not sure if too calm himself down or Dean.

"Don't let them get to you!" He said in a tone that brooked obedience, shaking Cas on his shoulders. "Block them away, Cas. We can do this. You and I, together."

 

_~8th January~_

 

[Dean]

 

He was late when he entered the classroom. His math teacher was already writing some exercises on the board, the normal noises of students chatting breaking the monotonous of the class, the windows wet by the heavy rain outside.

Dean quietly went to his seat, sending a silent ‘good morning’ to his boyfriend, followed by a wink. Cas shyly smiled, looking right after to the surface of his desk, not even blinking, like he was afraid of what could happen if he kept looking at Dean for a long time.

Dean sat down and took out his school book and notebook, landing them onto the desk, loudly sighing with the boredom already getting to him. He always hated Math.

'GAY' he saw wrote in black permanent ink. 'FAGGOT'; 'BITCH' that one made him arch his eyebrows, 'Really, bitch?! That's the best you got?' He thought. Then he saw it. Right at the bottom of his desk, small handwriting:

**You fuck your brother too, you freak?**

He slammed a fist at the wooden surface, clenching his jaw, heavily breathing and Cas could see his eyes turn into two darker tones of green.

"Which one of you fuckers wrote this?" He asked getting up of his seat. "Huh? Why don't you ask me that face to face, you sons of bitches!"

"Dean Winchester!" The teacher called with a mad tone. "I do not allow that kind of language and behavior during my class!" He glared at Dean. "One more of those and I'll send you to the principal's."

Dean took a deep breath, "Yes, sir, I'm sorry. I just--It won't happen again."

"It better not!"

He retrieved to his seat, trying not to look at the writing at his desk.

"Dean--"

"I'm okay, Cas. Just gimme a moment."

Cas nodded, however he knew Dean was not okay. Not after that one.

 

_~9th January~_

 

[Castiel]

 

"I told you this wasn't over, Cassie." Alastair said surrounding him against the brick wall at the back of the gymnasium.

Dean had already gone to work so Cas was supposed to meet Ash - that he found out to be a close friend of Pamela's - and Pam herself, but they weren't there.

"I--" He looked around. It was only the two of them. "Where are your friends?"

"They are taking care of yours. Today, it's just you and me, angel boy." Cas could sense the venom on his words.

Cas frowned, "What?"

"Did you know that Castiel is the name of an angel?" The way he speaks the words makes Castiel gulp.

"As Alastair is the name of a demon." He replied trying to find a way out.

Alastair laughed, "A very powerful one, actually." He corrected. "Now, the knife or the bat?" He raised both, one on each hand.

"Bite me." Alastair stared at him. His look was intimidating. _The knife, Cas... Go for the knife so the pain will go away. Just do it!_ "Ahm--the--the bat." Cas stuttered, shaking already.

Alastair save the pocketknife in his pocket and swung the bat against Cas' ribs.

Cas whined in pain, falling to the ground, crawling away to subtly grab a rock from the floor. Alastair followed him.

"People like you are sick, Cassie, Cassie."

"People like you are stupid, Alastair." Cas replied smashing the rock at Alastair's head, gaining with that some time to run away.

 

_~12th January~_

 

More notes.

Cas didn't bother reading them. There was only one thing he was forced to read: the red word painted on his locker and at Dean's. _Queer_.

He looked around for Dean. He was nowhere to be found. He should already be there; they had agreed to get to school at the same time, so they'd be always together.

He forced himself to Math class, then to English. No sign of Dean. He was getting worried.

 

**Castiel Novak 12:02pm**

_'Dean, where are you? You should be at school.'_

No answer.

**Castiel Novak 12:27pm**

_'Don't make me go there!'_

 

**Castiel Novak 12:51pm**

_'Okay, I'm going there. You better have a pretty good excuse for missing school!'_

 

He pressed send and at that exact same time he saw Dean parking his car, with Sam. He adjusted his bag and started running towards them.

"Dean, what's going on?" He asked when he got to them, Dean already leaving the car.

"Cas, can we talk, please?" Sam kept inside the car.

Cas nodded and saw some dry blood on Dean's shirt, "Dean--?"

"My dad wants to move. Like I said, I already was expecting this... But things got a little rough and --" He looked at Sam.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

"He owes some people money. Bad people! That's why he went missing a couple of months ago. He tried to earn some money back to lessen the debt but it didn't work out."

Castiel ran a hand through his hair, "How much does he owe?"

Dean united his lips into one thin line, "... Over $7,000." Cas froze when Dean said it. "Those people... They paid us a visit today."

"Dean--"

"It's okay. We took care of it. They gave us some more time, but we'll never collect enough money by ourselves."

Cas narrowed his eyes, "Why do I feel you are trying to say something I won't like?"

Dean sighed, "I need to ask you a favor." Cas tilted his head. "I need you to take care of Sammy for a couple of days! Just until my dad and I work things out."

"What do you mean?!"

Dean licked his lips, "I will always try to stay here... With you. But for that, I gotta do this."

"Do what, Dean?!" Cas was almost at his red code alert.

"My dad knows some people who can help us. We'll just go there and do our thing. Don't worry. It's not my first rodeo. Three days, at the latest." He assured, stroking Cas's cheek.

"Just don't get into trouble, okay?"

Dean nodded, "I'll try."

 

_~15th January~_

 

Those last days were terrible to Cas. He didn't sleep, eat or pay attention to any of his classes. He was worried about Dean who had said nothing since he left Sam with him. Sam didn't talk much either. Cas even tried to make him say what John and Dean were going to do but he just kept saying he didn't know.

Things at school weren't that great either. Gabriel was with his brother as much as he could but the bullies were always able to catch him off guard.

Pamela's group saved him once or twice.

 

[Sam]

 

He was heading to the library. He promised to meet Jessica there with Charlie and Brady.

He was thinking about his brother. The guys they went to ask for help weren't good news. Sam only saw then once, three years before, when they moved from Palo Alto to Denver. If John needed something he'd call Azazel, he'd provide it and John would pay something in return - not necessarily money.

He remembered that last occasion. John needed 5k, and he got it, but in exchange he had to do a transport service to the border with Mexico. Good times!

He was so lost in his memories he didn't noticed who he bumped until he heard his voice: Crowley.

"Great. Just what I needed." He mumbled under his breath, stepping away.

"Moose! Where's your gay brother? I haven't seen him lately. Did he jump off of a bridge?" He taunted grabbing Sam by his jacket. "Now I don't have no one to worry about. No one will protect you, Samantha." He teased tossing Sam against the wall.

He felt a fist hit his chin. Then stomach. Then a pair of hands on his throat, choking him. Sam gasped for air. "Where's your faggy bro now, Sammy?" He mocked. Sam scratched his face with his nails.

"Hey!" The voice resounded on the hall. And how happy Sam was to hear that voice!

He stopped feeling the suffocating hands on his skin and he tried to focus his blurred vision to see Crowley being punched on the face.

"What did I tell you, butthead? If you touched my little brother again I'd kill you!" Dean roared, raising Crowley by his collar and holding him against the same wall Sam was held seconds before. "Now, what am I going to do with you?" He asked, shaking Crowley that banged his head at the wall. He left the kid fall to the ground, he was bleeding. Dean had definitely gave him a cut when he smacked his head against the wall.

"The queer's back!" Other voices shouted and Dean looked to see Alastair with his usual suspects: Norman and Zachariah. Crowley got up and ran not looking back.

"Sam, get out of here." Dean ordered still looking at Alastair.

"But--"

"Now!"

 

[Dean]

 

Dean wasn't in the mood. Not really. He was fucking tired... And pissed. His travels with his dad didn't go as friendly as it should have, but at least one problem was solved, for now. But still, Dean was about to explode. If Alastair wanted problems he'd get them. Pamela had told him the times she had saved Cas from that group and now, now Dean would make them pay.

Sam quickly left after his brother shouted at him.

"You guys..." He chuckled, but his voice was rough and deeper than usual. "You really don't wanna do this." He warned seeing Norman and Zach on their way towards him.

"Oh, but I do wanna do this. 'Cause you see, Cassie?! He's a sneaky son of a bitch. He managed to escape me. But you won't. You don't have it in your blood. You'll stay here, because you are exactly like us. You can refuse a good fight. And I... I'll take all the time in the world to make you cry."

Dean punched Norman and kicked Zachariah. Alastair kept in the distance, seeing the scene.

Norman shook his head and tried to punch Dean back, but he dodged his fist and grabbed it turning it to his back and tossed him onto the lockers. Zachariah got to his feet and blocked him, falling to the floor with him, smashing him. His head hit hard and he got a little dizzy for a few seconds.

Zachariah took those seconds and held his arms. He kicked the air trying to keep Norman away from him, but he soon sat on him. He got hit on the face twice. He felt a crack sound on his nose and blood covering his mouth, coming from his nostrils. Then his abdomen was attacked. Over and over again. With all the strength he had left he reached one of Zachariah's arm and bit it, carved his teeth in his skin, making the bully scream in pain, who stopped holding one of his arms. With that same arm he attacked Norman's face, hearing him grunt and blood rushing out.

He was finally free and got up.

He turned at Alastair and spat some of his blood to the floor, cleaning his mouth with his palm. Alastair was smiling at him.

"What are you laughing at, jackass?"

"At you." He laughed nodding his head once. And he was grabbed again. But this time there was no way to free himself. Alastair gave a few steps forward until he could feel Dean's breath hit his face. He then showed his favorite companion, his so famous pocketknife, and held it against the Winchester's throat. A small cut was made, "You feel that?" He asked with a smile, seeing Dean closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. "Bring him. We were lucky we weren't caught by now." He said, walking along the hall towards the male bathroom.

Dean writhed in an attempt to free himself.

He put one foot on each verge of the door, fighting back. He saw Charlie leaving the library. She looked at them and froze. He gave her a glare of supplication and was pulled inside.

He plunked to the floor.

"You know, Dean, scars are the best way to remember us who we are." Alastair started like if it was a lecture, playing with his blade on his hand. The others were holding him. "Just like a tattoo. Only that the scares are more profound, unique. At least in my opinion. Maybe because no one likes to have them. They are seen like an imperfection. Well, I say they are our true mirror."

He crouched over Dean, tugging up his shirt.

"How 'bout we see yours?" He taunted sinking the sharp blade in Dean's flesh, cutting it. Carving it.

Dean wailed holding his breath.

Alastair did it again... And again... And kept going.

Dean felt his chest wet, a warm liquid draining out of his body, and the cuts burning him. But he didn't cried, he didn't beg him to stop. He just closed his eyes, holding the tears and writhed to be free.

Dean heard Alastair laugh and he hold his breath, because he knew, that if he allowed himself to breathe he would whine, he would break and the others would be satisfied to see his pain.

He stopped moving his arms, they were three against one, what could he do? He was still tasting blood on his mouth from his nose. And the cold air was making the cuts to hurt even more.

He felt one last cut. Deeper. Slower. Longer.

And he winced.

The door opened and the waft caused by its movement made Dean cry and roar. It was stuck on his throat since the beginning, and he couldn't hold it anymore. So he roared, he screamed. But not a roar of pain. Not entirely. More than that, it was a roar of wrath.

And for a second it was silent, his scream was the only thing heard. Then Charlie gasped and Dean saw the teacher beside her and Sam looking at that scene in utter shock. The bullies stopped. Dean sighed leaving himself resting on the floor, his chest still crying a river of blood.

The three boys were sent to the principal’s office and Dean was sent to the infirmary, being helped by Sam, because he only could manage to waddle. The nurse cleaned his wounds and patched him up. It wasn't something very, very, bad, his nose wasn't broken, so he wasn't sent to the hospital, even though he had some deep cuts to be careful at.

Cas ran inside the room, hugging him.

"Dean!" He gripped him to a hungry kiss. "Oh God, I missed you. Are you okay? What did he do to you?" Castiel examined him, not seeing the biggest wound, at that time covered by Dean's shirt.

"I'm fine, Cas." He assured, kissing him again. "It's nothing I can't handle."

They hugged again tightly, and Dean cursed under his breath. Damn cuts!

"How did it go? That thing with your dad?"

Dean tensed up, "We cleaned one mess, we started another. But we're good. We will be. The biggest debt is paid; we'll figure out something to pay this one." He shrugged.

Cas nodded. He wasn't going to intrude on Dean's family dramas.

"Alastair was expelled." He informed. "He and the two others." He smiled.

Dean chuckled kissing his nose, "That's awesome, babe. Really awesome. We should be celebrating then!"

 

~

 

When Dean arrived home he locked himself in his room, taking off his shirt and patches in front of the mirror. He looked at his chest. At dry blood was carved FAGGOT in underline and at straight lines.

It made him snort angrily.

He rested his hands on the dresser. This time he allowed himself to cry. He was alone so he didn't need to play cold and cool.

He cleaned the tears and heavily sighed. He was better than that, he was stronger than that. He nodded at his reflection as to motivate himself. He dressed a clean shirt - the other had a few stains of blood - and went to the living room.

 

_~18th January~_

 

"Come on in, Dean!" Anna invited him, still finishing putting her earrings on. "Long time no see!" She smiled, hugging him. "Cas is upstairs!" She gestured to the wooden stairs.

"Thanks. You're pretty, by the way."

"Oh, well, new boyfriend... Date!" She laughed, showing her dress. "I gotta go. If Lucifer bothers you, just punch him!"

Dean chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind!"

He went upstairs. Cas was laying on top of the bed covers, headphones on, some random band playing, eyes closed.

Dean smiled and tiptoed to the bed, jumping them to it, scaring Cas. "Gotcha!" Dean laughed, shifting to get more comfortable.

"Damn, Dean, you scared the hell out of me!" He said maybe a little too loud. He didn't notice it because he still had the music playing on his headphones. He took them off and kissed Dean, "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting you. I missed you, so..." He said shrugging and jumping off of the bed, taking his leather jacket off and putting it on an armchair.

"Uhh, I'm flattered!" Cas smiled. "You have any plans for today?"

"Uhm, no. Just wanted to see you. Why, you have something in mind?" He asked smirking and playing with his eyebrows, making a sly smile and look.

 

"Well, now that you ask - and take that smile of your face, we're not going to do that with my brothers home, especially Lucifer - but... We could... Watch Doctor Who."

Dean kept smiling but now sweetly.

"Oh, that series with those... Things..." He gestured trying to describe a Dalek.

"That one." Cas nodded, laughing.

"Alright. Let's do it! Maybe I'll become a... What are, you fans, called?" He frowned.

"Whovias, Dean. We are called Whovians. Now--" He got up and grabbed Dean by one arm. "Allons-y, Alonso!" He exclaimed like the fan-boy he was, making Dean laugh with the reference he didn't understand.

Dean took his boots off and sat on the bed, resting his back on the bed's headboard, grabbing a pillow on his arms and waited for Cas to turn off the lights and sit beside him with his laptop on his legs.

"We'll watch the tenth, okay? He's my favorite, so... " Cas explained while opening the video file.

"Whatever you prefer. I just want to be with you."

Cas smiled, "Well, I want to watch the episode--" Dean pouted at him, sad. "--with you." He laid his head on Dean's shoulder.

 

~

 

"Nice!" Dean smiled and they hold their hands. "This is kinda cool, Cas."

"I told you the series is good." Cas replied still leaned against his shoulder.

"Not the series... I mean, that too, but this, being here, spending some quality time with my boyfriend..." He explained, kissing Cas's hair.

Cas grinned and wrapped an arm around Dean, cuddling with him, letting the laptop fall to the covers.

"You are so cute, when you want to." Cas laughed, snuggling his head.

"Just with you, angel."

"Oh, that’s right, I'm an angel now." He laughed looking at his ring. Cas found it funny because he never had told Dean about his name, but still Dean called Castiel an angel.

"Of course, you are my angel. The one watching over me."

It made Cas grin like a little girl. His cheeks flushed pink, making Dean chuckle.

"You are so adorable when you blush..." Dean shook his head laughing, laying down with Cas.

The blue-eyed boy laid his head on Dean's chest, closing his eyes and making circles with his thumb on Dean's green t-shirt. In one of those moves, Cas rubbed Dean's scars, lightly hurting him because of it only having a few days and because of the deep cuts.

Cas didn't notice, he hadn't even had seen them yet. Dean thought it was for the best not showing them. With that, Dean kept looking at his boyfriend, caressing his messy dark hair. Cas really was like a guardian angel to Dean and Dean felt like he was in Heaven each time he looked at Cas. He was the representation of hope, happiness, and freedom.

He had started thinking about their possible future: if they could get married, buy a house, maybe adopt a child or two. To travel, to meet new people, new countries, new dreams. He'd even go to Africa with Cas if he still wanted to do volunteering there. He'd leave everything behind for Cas. Everything!

They stood there in silence, just listening to their breathing. As long as they were together, they were home.

 

_~21st January~_

 

[Dean]

 

Dean didn't know what to do, what to say. He didn't even know how he agreed to do this or how Cas convinced him to do it. In fact, he still was inside of his car, his hands on the steering wheel with a tight grip, eyes looking everywhere but the big iron gate giving entrance to a big field with lonely gravestones.

"Come on, Dean. You can do this. I'm here with you." Cas comforted him, entwining their hands. "It will help make you good. To visit them. To visit her."

Dean took some deep breaths before clearing his voice, "Cas, I--" He looked through the window at the cold weather, cloudy sky above the cemetery.

"I'll be right beside you, if you want me." He assured him, combing Dean's hair in concern.

Dean nodded and got out of the car after grabbing the flowers Cas had helped him buy. He looked again at the dark open gate, breathing slowly, seeing his breath disappear in mid-air. He shuddered when Cas tucked an arm around one of Dean's.

They slowly walked along the grass without saying a word. They were alone except for an old lady visiting her husband's resting place. Dean had only visited Mary and Adam once; he was still a kid, a few weeks after the fire.

They stopped in front of two gravestones. Dean tried to draw a smile. He wasn't ready for that.

"I shouldn't be here." He mumbled facing Cas. His face was contracted with pain, disorientation, sadness.

"It's okay, Dean! Just... I'll give you some privacy." Cas kissed his cheek and patted his shoulder before taking some steps back.

Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas, shifting his shoulders, uncomfortably. He still had Mary and Adam's flowers in his hands. Cas motioned to him, gesturing to him to be calm and to go ahead. He ran his free hand down his face pinching the bridge of his nose, before he crouched to deliver the flowers to its graves.

He sadly smiled at Adam's headstone, touching then the freezing stone, "Hey, brother. It took me a while, huh?" He chuckled, running his hand along the stone. "Yeah, sorry about that. I guess, I--" He sighed, looking at the flowers. "I just didn't know what to say to you, you know? I guess it hurt too much to come here. It still does." His eyes watered. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I only had time to--" He felt a knot tightening his throat. He painfully sighed, "I only had time to save one." He breathed out, holding his cry. "I still think of that every day, don't think I forgot you, okay?" He smiled, patting the stone.

He then walked at his mom's, "Ahm, hey mom. I--" He played with his silver ring that used to belong to her. He then faced his mom's name and kneeled down. "I wanted to visit you sooner, you know? But dad, Sammy and I moved town after you--" That stupid knot came back. "--and after that it became difficult to come here. I want to talk with you, mom, not with this... Rock." He sighed, running his hand at the small picture of her on the gravestone. "I miss you. So much. I miss your voice and your perfume of strawberries you loved to use." He smiled at that memory. "I'm sorry I didn't bring Sammy with me but he was at school. Great kid, very smart, mom. He'll have a hell of a future, I'm pretty sure of that.

One day, I'll bring him to visit you. I promise. I'll visit you more often." He started feeling tears falling from his eyes and streaking down his face, falling then to the grass. "He's dating this girl, Jessica, you know? She's very nice and beautiful. She kind of reminds me of you, actually." He chuckled and ducked his face, allowing more tears to fall, "I'm with someone, too. You'd love him. He is amazing and I love him. Strange, huh? You used to tell me one day I'd meet that one woman who would mean the world to me, but it came out to be a man." He laughed, wiping away the tears. "But, well, I guess you're still right... About the rest. He really means the world to me. His name's Castiel... Or just Cas, I prefer Cas. He prefers Cas, too." He looked back at Cas and smiled at him, then smiled up at the sky, "He's the angel watching over me, like you said.

He's the one who forced me to come here, thankfully. I wish you were here to see him, to meet him. You'd be so proud of me... Of us. I wish you were here to see how big Sammy is. He's almost taller than me, can you imagine?" He chuckled, shaking his head and standing up, putting a hand on the stone. "And I'm not a short guy, you know? I can only imagine how tall he'll be when he turns 18... Three days, mom, three days until I turn 18. I'm turning into a man." He laughed, sadly. "Yeah... A man." He chuckled patting the gravestone.

"Sam's happy and I'm getting there, too. I guess you'd like to know that. We both love you. I lov--" Dean hid his face in one hand, sobbing. "I just wanted you to be here." He shut his eyes, biting his cheek to stop the sobs. "I just wanted to see you again. I miss you so much." He desperately tried to clean his tears that were now continuously falling. His chin was shaking. He took a deep breath looking again up at the cloudy sky, "I know angels are watching over you, mom. Just like Cas is watching over me." He said with a faint smile. Then he kissed his fingers and pressed them against the cold white stone.

It was time for him to leave. He looked one last time at her name and picture and then he turned around at Cas, who was smiling at him with a comforting smile.

Dean hugged Cas, gripping the back of Cas' trench coat with a strong grip and tucked his head in Cas' neck. Cas hugged him back, soothing Dean by stroking his hair with his right hand.

"Thank you." Dean whispered, not separating from the hug.

"Let's go home, okay? I'll make you something for you to eat. Come on."

 

~

 

"Want some coffee, tea, anything?" Cas asked while Dean sat on a stool at the counter.

They were alone. Gabriel was still at school, Lucifer somewhere else, Michael had his own place now, Anna was at a job interview and Mrs. Novak went out to get some groceries.

"I wouldn't refuse a beer." He said and Cas gave him a 'sorry' look, saying they didn't have alcohol at home. "... Or a glass of water. Yeah, just a glass of water." He answered with his rough voice.

"Ok." Cas gave him some water and started rummaging through the cabinets, "I'll make you some... Uhm, I'll make something for us to eat. Maybe some eggs... Or fries... Maybe both." He started talking to himself. "Make yourself comfortable."

Dean sat on the couch and turned on the TV, resting his legs on the couch and shifted until he felt his body was comfortable on the cushions. He could hear Cas moving and the sound of cookware, cutlery and some drawers being opened and closed. Dean tried to pay attention at the TV but Cas’s humming was so distracting. He looked up from the couch to the kitchen, only seeing Cas's back.

Dean smiled. It was so good to have someone like Cas. He just wanted to tell everyone how he felt around him, but he was never good with words.

He turned back to the TV sighing and tucking a pillow to his chest.

Sometime later, he felt his boyfriend’s presence beside the couch,

"Here." Cas said, handing him a plate with a burger and fries. Then he laid the ketchup bottle on the coffee table.

Dean frowned not seeing a plate to Cas. "You're not eating?"

"Not hungry." Cas replied with a smile. "I'll just have some hot chocolate." He showed his mug, walking to sit with Dean, but he tripped over the carpet and spilled his very hot hot chocolate on Dean's t-shirt, who jumped off of the couch, swearing under his breath, feeling the heat burning his skin.

"Oh, Jeez, Dean. Let me-just--grab something to clean you up." He said and ran to the kitchen.

Dean kept shaking his t-shirt to cool it down. "It's okay, Cas. I'm okay." He assured but Castiel insisted for Dean to sit down so he could try to clean his shirt.

"You have to take it off." Cas ordered after two minutes of rubbing the wet towel on the shirt. "So I can wash it. I'll get you a clean one."

Dean's eyes widened remembering of his scars on his chest that Cas had no knowledge of.

"Cas, there's no need to, I--"

"Dean, it's just a t-shirt. And I'm not going to let you there with that soaked thing... It isn't like I've never seen your chest before. Take. It. Off!" He grumbled grabbing its cuff and pulling it up. Dean tried to stop him but it was too late. Cas's eyes were staring at the six letters and his face was in shock. "Dean... H--" He cleared his throat and passed his fingers through his scar. "How--"

"It's not a big deal, Cas." Dean shrugged, but his hands were now made into fists. "Just don't make a big deal out of it."  He removed Cas's hand way too aggressively.

"Was it Alastair?" Dean said nothing. "That's why you went to the infirmary, wasn't it?" His voice was now less calm and serene. "Why didn't you tell me?" And now he was mad.

"Why should I?" Dean replied annoyed. "He did this to me and... I saw no reason to tell you. You were so worried already! And I just wanted to forget about it." He sighed, standing up.

"And what? You thought I wouldn't find out? Every time we'd get more... Intimate you'd just push me off?" Cas asked with angst.

"No... I-Well, you know now. Can we just drop it? I don't want you mad at me, Cas." He asked trying to cover his chest. He was getting uncomfortable.

"I'm not mad at you, Dean. I just think you should have told me before. I deserved to know, that's all." Cas affirmed, stepping closer to Dean.

They shared a hug. Well, Cas hugged more than Dean, who was still a little uncomfortable. He hated it: having that word carved into his skin, haunting him every time he looked at himself in the mirror.

"You're still perfect to me, Dean." Cas whispered kissing Dean's neck - which caused Dean to moan - and then collar-bone. "You're still so beautiful, so strong, so... _You_." He continued, now kissing his scars, cut by cut. "And you still are the one I want. The one I need." He laid his hands on Dean's lower back, closing Dean' hips into his.

Dean smiled, pulling Cas's lips to his, gripping the short hair at his neck. Soon they tongues were touching. He got used to Cas saying he needed him. It was Cas's way to say he loved him and it made Dean explode on the inside.

Cas' arms rested around Dean's neck and he started pulling him to the couch, sitting on his lap.

 **Just do it!** They heard some actress scream on TV. And it made Castiel laugh, but Dean apparently didn't hear it.

Dean loosened Castiel's tie and started to unbutton his white shirt, while Cas fingers were playing with Dean's jeans' zipper. Cas moaned when he felt Dean press some soft kisses on his neck, biting him and his hips started to friction on Dean's, their erections starting to get noticed.

"Cas--" Dean groaned and bucked his thighs up, rubbing his hard cock on Cas's.

Their lips touched again, now hungrily. Even sloppily. Dean didn't want to waste time. He wanted the Cas at that exact moment, he needed to release his frustration into something and God how he wanted to thrust it into Cas.

He removed Cas' belt and forced Cas to slip his pants down and then he slipped his.

"Do you have lu--"

"Upstairs." Cas quickly informed pulling Dean's hair making him tilt his head back and kissed his chest, licking him, nibbling him.

Dean moaned and got up, holding Cas around his waist, walking around the table and hitting a wall. It made Cas grunt and Dean smirked, kissing him, both of them only on their boxers.

"Ok... Stairs." Dean chuckled against Cas' lips.

 

Cas only moaned a positive response. Dean adjusted the way he was holding Cas, making their dicks have friction again, and Cas deepened his teeth into Dean's shoulder lightly biting him. Dean swore and looked for the stairs. It was going to be funny to do the stairs with Cas on him.

The sound of keys outside the door broke their moment and they froze as the door got open. To their relief it was Anna.

"Cas-What in --" She snorted shutting the door. "You guys are lucky it was me! Now dress something, or get a room. _Seriously_!" She went to the kitchen.

They looked at each other and chuckled; both of them red as tomatoes.

"So--" Dean smirked still ready for action.

Cas kissed him and got to his feet, "I'll get you that shirt... This got too awkward, now." He laughed, running to get his pants dressed and ran upstairs. "Eat the burger! And get dressed."

 

 

 

[Dean]

 

He arrived home before dinner so he could make something for Sam before going to work. He was finally getting used to his routine, or so he tried to convince himself of that. To his surprise, when he opened the door he saw John up, already cooking. It made Dean blink as to make sure he wasn't dreaming. No, he wasn't dreaming.

"Dad?" His voice was a mirror of his surprise. He carefully shut the door afraid that any quick move could destroy that vision.

"Do you think these are hours to get home from school or any other place you were at? Where were you? Didn't I warn you about this already?" His voice was rough and unfriendly as usual. "I had to pick up Sam myself."

"I--went to the cemetery, today." He explained, putting the car keys on the table. "I guess I lost track of time."

John glared at him, "To do what?" Dean could swear he heard a pinch of pain at his dad's voice.

"You know... " He looked around the kitchen/living room, in an attempt to dampen his feelings. "To see mom and... Adam." John's face crinkled and he only managed to crunch.

Dean felt relieved his dad didn't give him much of a talk about it. When John returned his attention to the stove, Dean saw it as a cue to go to his room, where Sam was doing his homework.

He took a quick shower, combed his hair and got dressed before going to table, where John was already shouting at him that if he didn't get there in five seconds he'd throw him a beer bottle. They ate in silence, paying more attention at the sound of the television behind them than at each other. John was the one breaking their silence.

"So, boys, I've been thinking..." Sam and Dean looked at him with worried expressions. It was always bad news if John had been thinking about something. Mostly because it was always about moving town. "Now that we cleaned one problem out --"

"For now." Dean pointed out. "You still owe people money. Just to different people... Worse people, in a manner."

John gave him a death glare, "Do you have something else to say or you're done interrupting me?" Dean looked down at his plate. "Like we cleaned a mess, even momentarily, it gives us some freedom. And I realized that I need to find a way to... Make that freedom count. So, from now on, Dean, the Impala's yours. I have the truck; consider it you birthday present... And, I want to be a part of your life too, Sam, I'll pick you from school from now on. Meanwhile, I'll find a way to pay Azazel. It's not the first time he's made me owe a favor."

Dean held a chuckle and rolled his eyes. _Favor_.

"You got a problem, son? Isn't the car good enough for you for you to show me some respect, once in a while?"

This time Dean had to hold a glare, "No, sir. I'm just getting late for work. So, if you excuse me, I'll get going, now." Dean took his plate, put it into the sink, dressed his leather jacket and got into his car, heading to Gordon's.

 _John actually being a dad, that was new_! Dean chuckled at that idea, but he knew John too well to know there was something else going on. John wouldn't just wake up and decide to be a present father, out of the blue.

He had a bad feeling about that but he fought that feeling back, considering it was just him over thinking things. If John wanted to be with Sam, so be it. Maybe Sam could have the dad,  the one Dean never had.


	11. Not So Happy Anniversary

_~24th January~_

 

"Cas... You promised me!" Dean laughed, shifting on the couch, extending his arms along the couch's back.

"I know, but... " Cas sighed crossing his arms. "It's going to be embarrassing."

"Like we never did worse things." Dean smirked. Castiel only blushed and Dean pouted his lips, "Please?"

"Why don't you do it, then?" Cas asked with a daring glare.

"'Cause it's my birthday. I should receive the gifts, not give them!" He laughed with a wide smile on his face, amused at how genuinely sheepish Cas was about doing it.

"But--" Before Cas could protest, Dean pulled him by his blue tie kissing him. Cas sat on his lap, his legs open on the couch, feeling Dean's rough hands roaming through his body to his ass. He moaned through the kiss, shutting his eyes at the sweetness of the moment.

Then, he was tossed to the side of the couch, "Sit! Watch and learn!" Dean teased, winking at him with a sly look.

Cas smiled, victorious. He watched Dean go get his leather jacket and pick up his phone, crinkling his forehead and rubbing his chin with his hand, focused. Dean slyly smiled at the his boyfriend.

_Pour Some Sugar On Me_ started rocking and Dean laid his phone on the table, walking to the front of the couch to a very smiling Cas.

' _I can't believe I'm really going to do this shit.'_ He thought chuckling. He looked again at Cas before starting to flow at the rhythm of the music. ' _You can do this! You already did this once... At a party... In front of everyone. Be a man, Dean!'_

He relaxed, closing his eyes. He started by slowly tugging his plaid shirt out, leaving it fall to the floor. He continued by putting his hands at the black t-shirt's fold, pulling it up and tugging it out, messing his hair. He opened his eyes, passed a hand to smooth his hair, or to mess it even more - he'd go more for the second option - and threw the t-shirt at Cas, who grabbed it breathing Dean's scent of motor oil, leather and Hugo Boss' _BOSS_ fragrance, laughing. Dean shook his head laughing too. He jolted his hair once more and approached Castiel, who was looking at his perfect abs, while unlocking his belt from his jeans in a skilled movement, keeping it on his hand.

He stopped in front of Cas, still sitting on the couch.

_°... Can I be your man?°_

He put the belt around his own shoulders and sat on top of his boyfriend. Cas roamed his hand through Dean's naked chest, not even remembering of his scar anymore, scratching him. Dean bit his bottom lip and replaced his belt to Cas's neck, pulling him to a kiss--

_°Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet_

_Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah°_

\--however he didn't, his lips staying some inches apart from Cas's.

Cas sighed, a frustrated sigh, and Dean looked at his eyes smiling.

_°Pour some sugar on me_

_Ohh, for the love of love°_

Then he licked Castiel's lips and bit him. Cas remained still, examining the boy on top of him.

_°Pour some sugar on me_

_C'mon fire me up°_

With that, Dean moved his hips, rubbing himself against Cas's pants. The black-haired boy moaned and Dean smirked, gripping Cas's hair, leaving his belt rest on Cas. The younger one tried to kiss Dean, but he shook his head and got off of him, not without nibbling his ear. He couldn't resist but looking at the teen on the couch, those deep blue eyes fixed on him dilated, his chapped lips begging for Dean's touch.

Dean continued what he started. He unzipped his jeans and kicked them off. He was finally only by his boxers. Oh, but he wanted to go further. And that day, he would make Cas scream his name.

° _I'm hot, sticky sweet_

_From my head to my feet, yeah°_

He returned to Castiel, grabbing him by his tie and forcing him to get up. Cas did it with no resistance. On a devilish move, Dean turned over Cas hugging him from behind.

_°Listen, red light, yellow light, green light, go!°_

He landed long kisses on his neck while his hand ran his body. Coordinated with the song beat he bucked his hips into Cas's ass, making him feel his hard cock. He hadn’t realized he had shut his eyes until he opened them again and his heartbeat was accelerated. Cas's rough groan only made it race up even more.

His hands kept touching Castiel's body, until he reached his belt, taking it off. Cas tried to unbutton his shirt, but Dean stopped him.

"Na-ah, pretty boy. I do that." He whispered into his ear, breathing heavily against his skin. "You're my bitch, today."

No one was paying attention to the music anymore.

With a hand, Dean tilted Cas's chin back and kissed him, while the other found its way under Cas's boxers. He felt Cas's dick harden and gently stroked it, pulling it up and moving up and down, at the beginning gently but then gradually speeding up.

They kept kissing, Castiel moaning and Dean breathing him in, feeling Cas's hands getting to his hair, while Dean was giving pleasure to his boyfriend. Feeling it on his hand, his heat, their tongues tasting each other, their breathings loud and arousing made Dean's cock beg for freedom. His boxers were too restricting.

He stopped his hand-job and turned Castiel around pulling him up to his waist and carried him to his room. He tossed him to the bed, lying on top of him. He kissed him crazily, hungrily. When they stopped, their eyes were locked into each other and Dean loosened Cas's tied, took it off and ripped Cas' shirt by tearing all of it buttons in one try.

Cas laughed in a moan and shut his eyes, enjoying Dean's madness. He always loved when Dean was more... Wild.

He then felt something around his wrists and opened his eyes in time to see Dean give one last knot on his tie, which was now stringing him to a bed's joist.

"Dean, what are you doin--"

" _Shh_ , angel boy." Dean shushed him, stroking his bottom lip with his thumb and with the other hand slacked away his pants and Cas kicked his legs to throw them to the floor.

Dean looked at the bulge on Cas's underwear, "You hard for me, babe? Tell me you hard for me." He commanded biting his lips.

"Dean..." He whined, shifting his legs. Dean smirked glaring at him. "I'm hard for you." He wailed; his voice with a 'fuck-me-already' tone.

Dean smirked and pressed their lips together, then he downed to his neck, giving him some soft bites, and whispered into his ear,

" _You know what I'm gonna do to you, pretty boy? I'll make you scream my name like a whore. Hmm, I'm gonna make it so good."_

And it made Castiel moan so loud; Dean's deep voice inside his head, and the way he said those words made his whole body shiver. Dean bit his lip and grabbed the fold of Cas's boxers with his teeth and took them off. Cas sighed loudly when he felt free of the constricting fabric. He instantly felt Dean's hand gripping him and initially only licking the tip of it then all of its length. When he felt Dean's warm, wet lips, sucking, licking, moving, first slowly, then deeper, until the back of throat, Castiel growled bucking his hips and closing his hands into fists, sinking his head in the pillow.

"Oh my--" That's all he managed to breath out.

Dean stopped and finally took his own boxers off, and bucked his hips against Cas's rubbing their dicks together, bending over him to kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

He loosened the tie from the joist, although it kept tying his wrists and Castiel frowned confused. That was it?

"Turn around, angel boy."

Cas frowned again but obeyed. They usually had sex face-to-face.

Dean stretched his arm under his bed to grab the lube. He put some of it on his fingers and penetrated Cas only with one. He growled and Dean continued and thrust one more time . He moaned louder this time. Dean only grinned. He sped up.

"You want me to fucking beg?" Cas sighed, desperate.

Dean laughed, a naughty laugh, and thrust a third finger. Cas grunted, moving his hips, deepening the penetration.

"You want me? You want me inside you?" He asked in a tone that made Cas internally explode.

"Yes!" He roared frustrated.

Dean gripped his hair, pulling it, "Say, yes, _Sir!"_

_"_... Yes... Sir." He whined.

Dean smiled, removing the fingers.

He lubed his cock and rubbed it along Cas's entrance, but he didn't strike through. No, not yet, he was teasing him.

"Fuck, Dean!" Cas downed his head, sighing. "Fu--" He was cut off by Dean slowly thrusting inside him.

He was so used having Dean inside him, their bodies united, skin on skin, but he could never get tired of it. Dean was always so good, that Cas always ended up with his legs shaking, and a sweaty body and with his voice a misery.

Dean pulled his hair, "You're being a bad, _bad,_ boy. It's _Sir."_ He whispered, clawing his back.

Dean grabbed Cas's hips and his thrusting became harsher, deeper. All that Castiel could hear was Dean's heavy and uncontrolled breathing along with his, Dean's skin hitting his and the bed's bangs against the wall.

Dean hit his prostate, which made Cas swear all imaginable things and he needed to hold himself on the sheets. Dean sighed and moaned on each thrust move he did, tilting his head back, keeping his rough intrusions. All his accumulated tension until that moment was finally being released.

Cas was going crazy, at every hit in the prostate he yelled, "Don't stop, oh god, don't stop." He bit his lips, shut his eyes, gripped the sheets tighter, holding his loud roars that were growing inside him.

"Touch me, Dean, _please."_ He whined shifting his hands to try to free himself. He needed to touch himself. Dean only chuckled, not doing what he asked. Cas whined, " _Please_."

Dean moaned, "I gotcha, baby, I gotcha." and stroked his dick, possessing it.

His moves followed the rhythm of his hips, and if it was hard for Castiel to hold himself before, it was now impossible. So he groan, panted, roared, yelled. Every possible sound came out of his throat.

And how it turned Dean on!

Dean laid on Cas's back, keeping the thrusting in, tucking his chin in the passive's shoulder, "Oh god, you're so good, Cas." He panted biting his boyfriend's ear. "So fucking good."

Cas wasn't able to speak.

"I like to fuck you so bad." He growled, nibbling now his shoulder, listening to Cas' loud breathing.

He felt Cas shiver slightly, with a husky sigh and he felt a warm liquid running down his hand.

"Taste me... " Cas pleaded, biting his lip. "I want you to taste me."

Dean obeyed licking his hand, the thick liquid on his tongue. It was a little bitter and it was somewhat difficult to swallow, he never had tasted it before. He licked his lips and shut his eyes, he was close to come.

He relaxed at last, ejaculating inside of Cas. Both of them tired, panting. He didn't pull off right after he came, staying inside Cas for a few seconds, quietly, just listening to their breathings.

He gave a final sigh and gently removed his cock from Cas, giving a kiss on the shoulder of the tied boy and plunk to the bed, beside Cas.

Cas fully laid down too, entwining his legs with Dean's and asked him to untie him, which Dean did with a smirk, and rested his head on his arm, making circles with his thumb on Dean' belly who was with his eyes closed and a full smile on his face.

"Holy shit." Dean whispered at last.

"I know." Cas replied with a totally wasted voice, looking at his face.

"That was... " He continued, passing a hand through his hair.

"I know, right?" Cas smiled, "Right?"

They both laughed, still catching up their breaths. Cas dragged himself up to kiss him. Dean's hands ran Cas's hot body. Their kiss got hotter, longer, and Castiel laid on top of Dean, their dicks rubbing together.

Dean laughed, shifting his legs, "We should stop before I get another boner." He teased, kissing Cas's forehead.

"You're probably right." He agreed. "Shower?"

"You go first." Dean said giving him another kiss. Cas nodded and climbed off of bed, his legs not so steady, lightly wobbling.

' _Every god damn time!'_ Cas grumbled to himself. He always became a wreck after Dean was done with him.

He heard Dean chuckling behind him, he certainly noticed Cas's weak pace to the bathroom.

Dean kept eying as Cas went to the bathroom, turning then around, saying "Happy Birthday" before shutting the door.

' _That sweet ass, I swear...'_ Dean smiled lost on his thoughts. He looked through the open door of his room to the living room and decided to get their clothes from the floor and stopped the music that was on replay.

He was picking up his jeans when the front door opened and Sam froze at the image of his naked brother.

"What the hell, Dean?" He covered his eyes, turning his back at Dean. Dean clumsy dressed his jeans, not caring about getting his boxers first and mentally stabbed himself.

"Sorry, sorry. Can you, please, shut the damn door?" He grunted, gesturing to the door, even though Sam wasn't looking at him.

Sam did what he asked and turned back at his brother. He saw two belts on the couch.

"Dean...?"

"What?!"

Sam coughed, "Why are two belts on the couch?" He asked afraid with his possible, yet obvious, answer.

"Jeez, what do you think, Sammy?" He mumbled looking for his shirt. "Cas is here..."

Sam's eyes widened, "Dean, da—“

" _What?"_ He shouted, looking at his brother. Then it hit him. If Sam was there then John had already returned from South Dakota - he went there to talk to Azazel-and picked Sam up from his soccer game. "Shit! Shit. Shit!" He snorted picking everything as fast as he could, running to his room. "Try to keep him busy as long as you can!" He asked, shutting the door of his room.

Sam stood at the middle of the living room without knowing what to do. When he finally decided to do something, John came in with a pack of beers.

"Dean!" He called. No answer. "You come when I call boy, I saw your car outside!" He called again. Dean stuttered a "Just give me a second." from the other side of the wall.

John sighed impatiently. He didn't like to wait for other people. "If you don't get your ass here in five seconds, I'll smack you with a chair." He grunted.

He was always like that and Sam didn't know what to do.

John started walking towards the door and Sam did the only thing he could: step in front of him.

"He said to give him a sec, he must be in the shower or something. Just wait for him. There's no need to attack him." He babbled trying not to stutter.

John stared at his younger son and was about to agree with him when he heard people whispering inside the room.

"What the--" He pulled Sam away and opened the door.

His shock was visible when he saw Dean half-naked, a strange guy quickly dressing his boxers with his hair wet and the bed undone. "No!" It came out like a whisper. But the second came like a harsh roar, "NO!"

Dean froze at John's image, "Dad—“

"You fucker! You fucking queer!" He yelled, taking his belt off of his pants to whip him.

"Dad, please—“ He jumped back when John tried to hit him a first time.

His father didn't give up, walking forward and when Dean tried to dodge him he whipped him on his ribs. Dean screamed plunking to the floor on his knees.

"What did I tell you? I don't allow fags in my family, you sick animal!" He vociferated flogging him countless times. "What would your mother say?!" His back started to bleed. Sam tried to help his brother but John tossed him back, and he felt to the floor. "You're sick, you dog!" He yowled, continuing to whip his son that was screaming in despair not holding the tears. "I'll kill you."

Cas was in panic, looking from one side to another, looking for something to hit at John. **Nothing**. There was nothing there and Dean was crying for help. So he jumped at him. It didn't stop John. That is, it stopped John from hitting Dean but made him turn at Cas.

"And you, you shitty motherfucker! Fucking my son, you sick piece of shit! I'm gonna teach you a lesson." He adjusted the bloody belt on his hand.

Cas cringed back. John really was intimidating and for the look of Dean's back that man had the strength of a bull.

"No!" Dean whined, somehow finding a way to get up. "If you touch him, I swear to God, I'll kill you. And don't think I won't." He threatened, sobbing and swallowing.

John glared at Dean like he was possessed by the devil and, ignoring his son's last words, he turned back towards Cas. Dean grabbed his neck and blocked him to the ground and sat on him, holding John's arms under his legs and punched him on the face until John passed out.

Dean cried. His hands were with his dad's blood and his whole body was covered with his own. He let go a sob and Cas held him against his chest, calming the crying boy.

Sam ran to get the first aid's kit.

"It hurts... " Dean whimpered.

"Shh, it's okay, Dean. You'll be okay. I'll put you okay." Castiel soothed him, looking for Sam to come with the box.

"Make it stop, Cas." He cried, deepening his nails into Cas's arm in agony. "Make it stop." He roared, sobbing.

"I will. I will, darling. Hold on." Cas repeated as calmly as he could, but Dean's back were full of deep long cuts and he was bleeding pretty bad. "Let's put you on the table. It will be easier to clean you up, baby." He tried to pull Dean up.

He managed to lay Dean on the table, with his belly down, and Sam got back with a basin with water, a rag and the kit. Castiel wet the towel and swallowed before touching Dean's skin to start cleaning the wounds. Dean whimpered clawing the wooden surface of the table.

"Hold on, baby, hold on."

He continued. Dean, due to tiredness, to the pain and possibly to the blood loss, passed out, facilitating on one hand Cas's mission.

John remained unconscious on the floor.

They patched him up and tried to wake Dean up, who still had a painful expression on his face, hardly opening his eyes.

"You have to go. Go to Bobby's or Cas's, whatever. Until this settles down." Sam advised.

Dean tried to get up, "What about you?" He managed to ask.

"I'll stay. If you take me with you, he'll just go after you." He sighed giving Cas the car keys. "Go! Before he wakes up."

 

[Castiel]

 

Cas helped Dean to get inside the back seat and went to the driver's side. Gabe had given him some lessons, so he could manage a one-time drive. He drove as fast as he could. He tried to focus on the road but Dean's whimpers were too loud to ignore.

He was in shock. He imagined many different reactions from John, but never that one. What he did to Dean was... Inhuman, to say the least.

His hands were shaking and he was scared as fuck. So he just drove, to the safest place he could take Dean: Bobby's. It took them a while to get there. The time seemed slower, the distance bigger and Dean's sobs louder. He kept looking at Dean by the rear-view mirror all the way there.

He parked the car and helped Dean out, dragging him to the porch, where he basically screamed while knocking at the door. Jo came out, seeing Dean with his red swollen eyes from crying, and holding onto Cas, his knees almost touching the wooden porch. She automatically helped him out, putting his arm around her neck and tucked an arm around his waist making him scream in agony. She looked at him in panic.

"Don't." Cas simply said, motioning to his back with his head.

They laid him on the couch and Jo went to the kitchen with Cas to talk in private.

"What the _hell_ happened?"

Cas rubbed his face, not caring about the blood on them, "His dad caught us. He got mad. I mean he's a sick animal... If you had seen the scene, it was..." He put a hand on his mouth, completely lost. "I tried to patch him up but he has some serious cuts and he needs stitches. Like _now!_ He lost a lot of blood. He already passed out once... I--I don't know what to do." He sobbed not being able to bear the pain in his chest. His boy was suffering, "I promised him I would make the pain stop, but I can't. What do I do?" He cried, letting his legs fail, so he fell to his knees. "He's my boy.... He's my baby, I can't—“

"Don't give up." Jo said eying him, "You can wait until I call my dad and he gets here _or_ you can let me stitch him up. Bobby taught me how to do it, but I've never done it on a person before, Castiel." She informed, grabbing the kit.

"How long will it take him to get here?"

"Half an hour, if he speeds up." She looked at him sad.

A sob came from the living room. Cas got up to his feet, "Okay--okay, do it."

"Are you sure?" She frowned. "'Cause it won't be easy to watch... Or hear."

"Just do it!" He shouted, cleaning his tears.

She sighed, "Okay, come with me. You'll need to hold him for me."

 

~

 

Dean was now sleeping on Cas's lap. It could be that the tiredness was caused by the blood loss, the crying, the pain, the painkillers... It was probably because of all of them.

Cas was gently stroking Dean's hair, watching him sleep now so peacefully, so calm.

Jo was at the kitchen finishing washing her hands from the blood and cleaning the rest. There were some stains of Dean's blood on her shirt and on the carpet and couch but she would take care of that later. At that moment, she was just happy Dean was able to get some rest.

She walked to Cas, handing him a wet towel from him to clean his, too, bloody hands.

"Thank you." He mouthed at her, taking the towel.

"You're welcome." She whispered, pulling a chair to sit in front of them, "He'll be fine. Just give him a week or so."

"No, he won't." Cas answered back. "Not after this. Not after what his dad did to him. He's at the limit of his strength." He sighed, continuing to comb his hair.

Jo sighed too, "He doesn't deserve this. None of this. He's such a good person."

"The best." Cas agreed, still looking at his boyfriend. "This is all my fault..."

"Cas--"

"It is. I did this to him. Since he met me, people are always hurting him. Always carving his skin into a new shape. Making him hate himself more than he already does. And I can't stop it. I can't do anything about it..." A tear streaked down his cheek.

"You can stay on his side, Cas. He needs you, can't you see that? And don't think this is on you, 'cause it's not. They would have found another way to eat him. But you--you are the strength he needs. You need to be his hope, Castiel. Be his rescue." She smiled sadly , standing up when she heard the front door open. She needed to tell her parents what happened.

 

[Dean]

 

He slowly opened his eyes. They were heavy, fuzzy.

An annoying wall clock was making its usual pace.

He tried to focus his view. He was in a room. In a bed. Not his room, nor bed. He frowned and tried to move but a pain hit him in the back making him loudly groan and swear. He was tired. He had just woken up but he still could sleep for an entire week.

*** _A flogging*_** _You're sick, you dog!_

**_*A flogging*_ ** _What would your mom say?_

**_*A flogging*_ ** _You sick animal!_

_Pain._

_Pain._

_Despair._

**Hate.**

 

The sound of the door opening ended Dean's thinking, pulling him back to the bedroom.

"Hey, you're awake. Good. How are you feeling?" He saw Cas approaching him with a plate on his hand.

He looked at Cas for a few seconds, "I--I'm okay. Thank you." His voice was empty, distant and Castiel saw it.

"Here. I brought you some pie. You must be--"

"Not hungry." He interrupted, looking away.

_Ticktock_

_Ticktock_

"Oh, okay, then. I'll just leave it here..."

"I don't want it! You can take it back." He grunted still not looking at Cas.

Cas only stared at Dean and turned around, leaving the room without saying any other word.

Dean looked at the bedside table seeing a flask with painkillers. He forced his arm to reach it and swallowed two without the help of water. He painfully got up and walked to the wall mirror, pulling his shirt up holding in a wail and saw his chest wrapped in bandages. He wanted to take them off. He wanted to see it. The monster he had become. The marked person he was. The person Cas would never look at with love and desire again, but with pity.  
That's all he saw in Cas's eyes. _Pity._

He didn't need nobody's pity.

He was a warrior!

He silently sobbed, with his whole body and soul aching. He was just tired. He wanted it all to be over.

 

[Castiel]

 

' _He hates me.'_ Cas thought pressing his back on the wall sliding to the floor. _'I saw it in his eyes. It's happening all over again. I can't --I... I—“_

_Sob._

A loud bang of his head hitting the wall sounded through the hall. ' _Why is this happening again? I--He's my everything. I need him. I can't live through this again.'_ He sobbed again, hugging himself on the knees.

He then looked at his hands, then wrists, seeing the old scars still so visible, still so present, so compelling. He passed his thumb through them, closing his eyes.

It was too much and he was too weak.

Dean hated him. He hated himself. He caused it all to Dean. He was poison, he was pain and death. He was nothing. No one cared about him anymore. He got up and went to a bathroom, locking the door. Then, he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

_Just let me die!_ Abaddon mocked.

_Queer!_

_Monster!_

_Why don't you just die?_

'… _He grunted in pain. But he felt relieved. Just for a second. Watching the blood dropping from his hand to somewhere else. He needed more._

_He needed to feel the pain he missed...'_

He hates you.

_He hates you._

_HE_  
_HATES_  
_YOU!_

He looked for something sharp. A razor blade would make it.

He carved the blade into his skin. And again. And again. And **again.**

The first pain came and he watched his blood making its way to the surface, dripping to the sink. But then numbness. Nothing.

' _No, don't stop. Not yet.'_

It wasn't enough. It didn't hurt enough. He deepened the blade into his flesh, making a larger cut. Too deep.

' _Shit_!' A tear fell from his eyes as his flesh reacted to the cut with a strong burning sensation and this time more blood started to bloom out.

He sighed, relaxing. It relaxed him. For those few seconds, it was only him and his blood.  
_Nothing else._

He just wished he was the one flogged instead of Dean.

He just wished it was his flesh being opened and cut and torn apart.

He just wished it was his blood being drained out of his body, washing his pain away.

He would have deserved it.

_He would have thanked it._

He then heard a knock at the door.

"Castiel, are you in there?" Jo's worried voice reached his ears.

He cleaned away the tears and cleared his voice, "Yeah. Ahm--Just... Gimme a sec." He said grabbing some toilet paper to clean the floor and washed his wrist, leaving the water running to clean the rest of the blood and, to improvise, rolled some toilet paper around his wrist and pulled his sleeves down to cover it. He finally washed his face and looked at the mirror to see if he still had his 'just cried' look. He didn't seem sadder than usual so he just nodded to himself and opened the door, seeing Jo leaning against the door frame.

"What took you so long?" She questioned him, eying him.

He stuttered but managed to say, "C'mon Jo, if it's not one thing, it's gotta be the other." He laughed, but Jo kept looking at him suspicious.

Cas never was a good liar.

"Ok, then. I was just here to call you for lunch. We are all already at the table. Dean included." She smiled, but it turned into a frown when Cas didn't smile back. "What?"

"I'm not so hungry. I'll just go get my things and go home. Dean's okay, so I can leave."

"What the _heck_ are you saying? I must have wax in my ears." She eyed him, "Castiel, you better start moving to the table. Now!"

Cas silently sat beside Dean, not looking at him. Dean just kept looking at his plate. They ate in silence. Once in a while Bobby or Ellen would ask them something, but besides that they remained in silence, not disturbing the Singers.

Jo spent the lunch time glaring at the couple.

"Ok, spill it out. What's going on?" She asked when they were the three alone.

They both answered at the same time, "Nothing."

"So why aren't you being _you_? Dean, you didn't look at Cas once, neither as Cas at you. I may be a lot of things, but I ain't stupid. Like you, Cas, I still want to know what you were doing at the bathroom, because it wasn't pooping!" She gazed at him, making him shift uncomfortably on his seat.

Everyone at school knew about Cas's 'issue', thanks to Abaddon, and Jo wasn't dumb. She wasn't sure of anything, but after you find out something like that, you'll always suspect of it when that person gets weird and goes to the bathroom, door locked, for long periods of time.

"It's none of your business what I was doing. It's my life." He grunted looking away.

Dean looked at him by the corner of his eyes, clenching his jaw, but didn't pronounce a word.

"Fine. It's your choice. But you won't leave this table until you fix whatever is going on between you two. I'll be in the kitchen." She got up and closed the sliding door behind her.

Dean looked at the door for a few seconds and then swore under his breath as he pulled himself up.

"Really?" Castiel hissed incredulously. "You'll just... What... Not talk to me? Is that it?" Dean continued with his back at him. The thoughts he was having weren't nice. "What have I done to you for you to hate me?" He fisted the table, wincing as his wrist ached.

"What makes you think that I hate you, huh?" He faced Cas. "Maybe the fact you just cut yourself again?" He hinted, making Cas look away. "You did, didn't you? You son of a bitch..." His voice was full of disappointment. "And for what, Cas? For what?" He shouted at him, wincing as his back reminded him of his current state. "You're not the one that can barely walk without feeling hundreds of knives stabbing you. You're not the one attacked by your own father. You're not the one with his back turned into shreds. You're not the one --" He started crying "--that has to look at his boyfriend and see nothing but _pity!_ "

Cas was crying too, "Pity?! Dean, I would never look at you like that. Ever! You're the strongest person I know, why should I look at you like that?"

"Look at me, Cas! Look!" He bawled. "I have 'faggot' carved into my chest and god knows how many stitches on my back. I'll never be okay!"

"I don't care about the stitches! I don't care about the scars you have or will further have, like you shouldn't care about mine! They're just scars, Dean! They won't define me or you or anyone else. They're just scars..." He cried, looking at his hands.

Dean shook his head," They are not just scars. They're memories, our skin, proofs of what we did to ourselves! Can't you see that?"

"But I don't care about them. I care about you. I would never look at you differently because of them, you're still Dean, and you'll always be Dean. No matter how many scars you'll have. And what I feel for you will always be the same." He tried to stop his crying. "Just don't hate me. I need you. Please, Dean, don't hate me." He begged, shaking his head desperately.

Dean's face softened and he felt mad at himself for making Cas think he hated him.

"I would never hate you, baby. Never. I love you. I always will. I'm just mad that you think so low of yourself to the point of causing yourself that kind of pain." He approached Cas, asking him to get up. "Look at me. Look at me, Cas." He ordered, holding Cas's chin to look him in the eyes. "I. Love. You." He said, kissing him sweetly. "So, never hurt yourself because of me again, understood?" Cas just kept in silence. "Castiel!" He widened his eyes in frustration.

He nodded once, "I'll do my best, Dean."

"Good. No more scars, okay? I think we already reached our limit." He laughed, but his tone of voice showed he was being serious.

He really meant it. They had really reached their limit.


	12. Water Under The Bridge

_~10th February~_

[Dean]

 

Two weeks had passed and Dean had moved to Bobby's. Going back home was not an option so he just stood there and Sam started to deliver him some of his belongings through school because it was the only way for him to take his things and to see his brother.

He had also dropped his second job. Mostly because Bobby forced him to, but also because he didn't need two jobs and his physical shape wasn't exactly good: he was tired and still a little sore.

Speaking of which, his back still was a mess, some stitches remaining, but the pain was gradually fading away. At the first days, he needed help to dress his shirt, to take a shower and to change the bandages. Luckily, Castiel was there. He never left him. He went to Bobby's everyday Dean hadn't gone to school so he could be with him and help him.

Now that Alastair, Norman and Zachariah were expelled, things were much calmer. There still was Abaddon, but they could handle her stupid jokes, mocking gestures and cold sneers. The rest of the school had slowly started to ignore the gay couple, not exactly accepting but leaving them be undisturbed. And then there were some who would share some quick smiles and even a few more open-minded who would even invite them to lunch with them, but they already had their own group and the best they could ever have.

Everything was slowly going back to normalcy.

They were now at the end of their last class of the day. Their teacher was finishing his speech of genetic manipulation and everyone was trying their hardest to stay awake. The windows were wet and its surface cold and, outside, the rain was slowly pouring from the sky and fertilizing the soils, almost in a silent dance. Winter was finally starting to show its fading power, the grey clouds dressing the once blue blinding sky into a dreary and melancholic one, the trees still naked but with small green leaves blooming on its branches, dressing the bare lonely trees with the first tone of new foliage, bringing with that, the only explosion of life and color to that drowsy day. The drops of water were making tracks and patterns as they learned the surface of the windows and all those watery lines were turning the external environment into a dim and blurred image, adding a fantasy tone to it, so close yet so far from the students closed within those four sallow-colored walls. The melodic music of the rain was only accumulating extra effort to remain awake.

"... So don't forget you'll have a test about this, next week." The teacher concluded one second before the bell rang shutting his book.

With an unexpected and sudden explosion of vivacity, the students started getting up grabbing their things and the whole class left the room, being Cas and Dean the last ones, lazily gathering their book and leaving.  None of them had been having much sleep recently. Dean had been having a hard time with sleeping, waking up whenever he turned in bed and put some extra weight on his back and Castiel… Well, he didn’t have a specific reason, only going through some insomnia. Maybe it was because of his tests. With all the stuff going on around him he didn’t have much time, mood or patience to study as much as he used to, or at least, should and it was showing on his grades the hard time he was having. Without his sleep, he probably looked more like a zombie than a human, not even walking anymore but dragging his feet on the floor.

When they reached the hall they quickly kissed and entwined their hands, going to their lockers now repainted to its original colors: dark blue.

"So, we still have time to... I don't know, go out and do something." Dean commented opening his locker and throwing his Biology book at the stack of papers, books, copybooks, some lost pencils and pens, and an old football ball.

Cas smiled leaning on another locker, "And what do you have in mind?"

"Jo's birthday is in a couple of days. We could go to the mall and buy her a gift... And you know, go out. I need some normal-teen time, ASAP!" He pulled Cas closer by his waist, kissing his forehead sweetly. "What do you say? Me, you, shopping for the rest of the day, like a normal couple?"

"But where's the fun of being normal?" Cas teased touching the tip of Dean's nose. “And besides, I _hate_ shopping.”

Dean laughed, "Just today, okay? And I don’t like it either, but I need to boy Jo something, alright?" He asked pouting. "Then we can go back into being the weird crazy teens that we are. Deal?"

"Deal." He agreed, kissing him.

"Good. You can go ahead to my car. Let me just find Sammy, I need to ask him a few things from the house. I'll catch up with you."

Castiel smiled while Dean shut his locker and then stroke his arm, “Five minutes.” Cas warned and Dean nodded. The bell ringing was the warning of the start of the next period and their cue to start moving.

 They went in different directions. If Dean was right Sam should be at his soccer practice.

He walked along the hall that was slowly getting emptier as the students went to classes. It felt so good seeing all those teenagers going to classes when he had the rest of the afternoon to be with his boyfriend in peace. Sometimes one can take pleasure out of someone’s suffering and Dean could very well do it at the moment: no one likes classes, especially at that time of the day, it is like torture…  Slow, painful torture.  With a chuckle, he opened the door of block D to the sports field, absently looking at his phone screen checking the time, when he bumped into a girl.

"Crap! Lisa... Sorry. I didn't see you there." He apologized gripping her by her shoulders so she wouldn't fall back.

"Dean! Great, I was looking for you." She smiled managing to stand on her feet.

He let her go and frowned. There wasn’t anything that Dean could remember as a reason of why Lisa would be looking for him. They were not close, nor did they even share the same friends or, at least, connections anymore. They were part of two different realities, Lisa being the sweet kind popular chick and Dean being the ex-popular quarterback, now the gay guy who fucked with half the school girls.

"Looking for me? Why?!"

"There's a person who wants to talk to you." She simply said. "Come with me."

Before he could say anything else, she grabbed him by his wrist and they started walking to the lunch zone. It was empty except for a girl that was there. Her dark hair was impossible not to recognize.

"Tessa..." He grunted under his breath. She looked over her shoulder finding the dirt blonde boy eying her. If there was someone besides Abaddon that Dean didn’t want to talk to, that person would be her. "What do you want, Tess?"

"I wanted to talk..." She shyly said while getting up.

"About what? Ow, wait, let me guess: you want to know if I followed your advice? Yeah, don't worry, I wash little Dean every day!" He winked but his voice wasn't so friendly. There was nothing Dean wanted to talk with her. Well, there was, but most of it wouldn’t be very nice, so he’d rather not to.

"No... I—I wanted to apologize. For everything. For what I said, did, told... I was mad, out of my head and I was childish when I did what I did. It was your private life, it was your secret and I shouldn't have been such a... Bitch." She looked at him in the eyes. "It was an immature thing to do and I don't want to ruin everything we had because of a thing you had... Or did... Whatever."

"Tess, I'm with Cas." He slowly said with a tone of impatience, not understanding what she wanted.

"I know that. I know! I just thought that someday we could be... Friends. If it's not too late, you know?"

Dean snorted holding a humorless laugh back, " _If it's not too late?_ " He quoted her. "It's more than late, Tessa!” He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t simply shut up and walk away, she need to hear some truths. “You made me live through hell!" She looked down at her feet ashamed and Dean actually huffed at it. "You have no idea what you did to me, or to _Cas_ , do you?" He tried to control the tone of his voice. "Nah, what you're doing now it's too little, too late."

"I'm sorry, Dean." She whispered. "I was so mad and out of my head... So hurt. And then Alastair came to me asking questions and he kept asking and asking, and he can be very persuasive, you know? So I told him, but I never thought he'd tell everyone, you were friends... Or I thought so! But it all happened so fast and then the entire school knew and everyone stood by my side, so I just…" she cleaned her tears looking down at her feet. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore.

Dean was looking at her emotionless and then gave a few steps forth, tilting his head to the right and slightly narrowing his eyes. His voice became deeper and harsher,

"I have been in a lot of schools; more than I can count with my fingers, and I met a lot of good people, people that I could count on. For a lot of time, I thought of you as one of those people. So I hated myself for what I did to you... I never was the boyfriend you supposedly deserved. So I felt guilty! Because you seemed so nice and such a good person!" He was now only a few inches from her. She kept looking down. "But you had to show your real face. You  _knew—_ “ She flinched when Dean raised his voice. "—I'm not good under pressure or with big changes in my life: I just freak out and don’t know how to handle them and end up doing something stupid.  _You knew that,_ I told you that! But nah, let's yak it all with Alastair, 'cause he's such a good guy!" He shouted giving her a burning gaze. “Thank very much, Tessa, because I really had the months of life thanks to you!”

"I know, Dean-o…”

"Don't call me that." He hissed.

“I’m sorry.”

Lisa was silently watching the scene. He sighed and wiped his face for the stress gazing at the girl who was once his girlfriend and was now sniffing. There was nothing else he could do or say and there was nothing else _she_ could do or say to make up for everything that happened. He was mad at her, certainly, but not because of what happened to _him._ He was furious because of how much of that affected Castiel. She was the one that started all this, right when Abaddon started her mission of destroying them. Her actions almost ripped them apart and Alastair… He didn’t know what he would do if Alastair had actually done something to Castiel like he did to him. So how can he possibly forgive her? She should be apologizing to Castiel, because if there was someone who got broken and fragile because of all the bullying it was Castiel and Dean even saw him in a low he never thought of seeing. And Dean was at a weak moment too, so all the mocking and the bullying thrust upon them, especially all the crap they got into Cas’s head, making up his mind into thinking nobody cared about him and that he was a monster, almost ended their relationship and Dean didn’t know what he’d do if he had lost Castiel.

 But they were still together, and they were okay, they’d be okay someday. One day at a time… The moment was all that mattered and they managed a way out, they were still breathing and living. This, what they were having now, was their chance to start over. So, in a last breath of calmness still living in his lungs, he sighed,

"Thank you. Because of you I saw that I love him in a way I could never love you." He shrugged arching a brow. "But... I'm also sorry for that. 'Cause I shouldn't have used you like I did. So... Yeah." He glanced one last time at Lisa before turning away and left the two girls behind.

 

[Castiel]

 

He waited leaning against the Impala, the now calmer rain slowly soaking his hair. If he kept there much longer he was certain he’d get the flu or something. He said five minutes, but he already was there for around fifteen. Dean never was very good at obeying time, but that was just evil. He knew it was raining and Castiel could have been waiting inside the school, all warm and dry.

He sighed wishing he had the keys of the car so he could be waiting inside and for a moment thought of walking back to school. Dean could text him when he'd get to the car and not seeing him. When he was about to do so, he saw a human figure exiting school’s building and running towards the car.

"Sorry, I found some... People on the way so it took me some more time." He excused himself holding the car keys. "Get in!"

 

They entered the mall tangling their hands together. Castiel was now wearing Dean’s jacket as he started to sneeze during their ride there and Dean didn’t want to be the cause of Cas getting sick and his hair was still trickling water. Dean gave him a short smile and kissed his cheek squeezing his hand. They didn't have problems showing they were together in public anymore. It was their life and if people had a problem with it, they didn’t care.

The building wasn't as full as it would be if it was the weekend but it still was a little crowded. Proof of that were the people they bumped into while walking along the shop windows, the noisy chat coming from all directions.  None of them can really feel what’s so good about shopping, a lot of people say it can be relaxing but to Dean or to Cas it can be really stressing. All the confining, the busy families, the long queues at the stores, the junkie food… None of that seemed calming at all, more to “Embrace your arrival to Purgatory.” It was all about who gets what first and faster.

"So what do you have in mind for her?" Castiel broke the silence between them two.

Dean looked around a little undecided. There were so many choices it could drive him crazy, "I want her to pay for the condoms, so... Something hot." He said still glancing around the place.

"You mean... Like... Sexy underwear?" Cas laughed nervously. He wasn't jealous; it was just weird to see his boyfriend offer underwear to another person: a girl.

"Well,  _that_ or I can give her a gun." He grinned, separating their hands to tuck an arm around Cas's shoulders.

"Oh, you think handling a gun is hot?" Cas laughed receiving a sly look and smile from Dean as response.

They didn't stop walking and Dean was still wondering, talking to the air absently, as they passed some shop windows, "... Or maybe I could buy her handcuffs! I like that, yeah..." His voice had a mock tone in it, gazing by the corner of his eye at Castiel, already knowing the reaction he would get from him.

"Dean!" Now Cas was getting jealous. "Why don't you choose something less... You know." He blushed deepening his hand in his pockets.

Dean nodded, "You're right. I'll buy handcuffs to us, naughty boy. I now know you like to be tied up." He teased, but his voice was so damn seductive that Cas's body warmed up and he blushed even harder, looking away at a show-window like he was more interested in kitchen utensils than in their conversation. That and the fact an elder lady was passing in front of them when Dean said that and she gave them a weird look. Dean grinned, shrugging it off and kissed his forehead, “I love when you blush.”

“Shut up and walk.” Castiel grunted nudging him on his side.

They walked a little longer, stopping at some clothing stores, a bookstore, a perfumery, not finding anything interesting. Cas was following Dean around not really paying attention to many things besides the attendants that would casually flirt with Dean not knowing he was either gay or already taken. Of course, at those moments, he’d chime in and take Dean’s hand on his or say something that included ‘honey’ or ‘baby’ in it. The look on their faces always almost made him laugh and Dean would give him some knowing looks when they were leaving the stores. He never commented anything, though. And truth be told, Dean liked knowing Castiel could be so protective over what was his, and jealous Castiel was simply fantastic to watch.

They kept in that pace, store to store, until Dean suddenly stopped, looking at one shop window, and burst out of laugh.

"I found it!" He laughed pointing inside. Cas looked at the same direction not finding anything that could Dean laugh like that.

"Dean, what is it?" He frowned laughing only because Dean was too, and was pulled inside by his wrist. He tried to keep up with Dean, who was almost running, and rolled his eyes when he finally saw it: it was one of those full-body night-suits with a tabby cow pattern. "Seriously?" Cas gave him a look.

"Oh, c'mon, Cas!" He replied between laughter. "Imagine her in this. It's hilarious." He giggled grabbing it and twirling with it pretending to be her.

Castiel almost asked: _And what’s the sexy part you talked about earlier?_ But decided not to, a stupid pajama was way better and safer than blindfolds, ropes or handcuffs.

"Yeah, now you just need to buy one of those cow bells they put on their necks and she will be a full cow." Cas joked mindlessly. Dean looked at him widening and a smile widened on his face. "No! Dean, I was just kid—“

Dean ran to the cashier to pay it and left the store euphorically.

"So, where can we find those things..." He asked himself rubbing the beard he forgot to shave that day. Cas wouldn't admit it bit it was pretty hot.

"Dean, it was a joke! You can't give her a cow bell. It's offensive!" He remarked crossing his arms giving him a serious look.

Dean's face lost his, somehow, creepy smile, finally making some sense in his mind, "Yeah, you're probably right." He sighed. "But the pajama's going!" He pointed his indicator finger at Cas.

“It’s a stupid gift, Dean…” He rolled his eyes now thinking of how many better gifts he could have gotten to her on his own.

“You said it yourself: what’s the fun of being normal? The same applies to the presents.”

The dark-haired boy laughed shaking his head and tucked an arm around Dean's waist, carefully not to hurt him, and leaned his head on the dirt blonde's shoulder. There was nothing else to do there, Dean had already gotten his gift, but no one said they wanted to leave, so they simply started wandering around the mall, enjoying what the rest of the afternoon could offer them.

They stopped when they found a photo booth.

Cas looked at Dean who instantly nodded negatively, not being a big fan of taking pictures, but when Cas did his puppy eyes it was impossible for Dean to say no. With a grunt, Dean inserted some coins and they sat down on the red leathered seats, tucking their bags between their legs so it wouldn't appear on their shots.

“What the hell…” Dean sighed and switched on his seat, so he’d be able to hug Cas from behind, and tucked his chin on Cas’s shoulder, his breathing making Castiel giggle.

**_Flash._ **

Some 'blue-steel' from Dean and Castiel just hid his face on his hands laughing like an idiot, Dean not breaking from character.

**_Flash._ **

Dean pouted, making an extremely hot duck face at the camera and Castiel stuck out his tongue making ant antennas on Dean's head with his fingers.

**_Flash._ **

Dean looked at Cas and stroke his cheek leaning his forehead on his.

**_Flash._ **

They got out and Dean took the vignette of pictures looking at them with a smile while the Castiel grabbed their bags with another couple of teenager approaching the booth between giggles.

"Aren't we two handsome sons of bitches." Dean smirked passing it to Cas. "Keep them. We'll take more next time, okay?" Cas nodded still looking at the pictures, lovingly absorbing them in.  He only looked up at Dean when he felt Dean's lips touching his temple. "Come on, let's keep going."

Next time, it was Cas stopping in front of a Hot Topic store grinning like the fanboy he was. Dean only squeezed his shoulder and nodded once motioning for him to walk inside. That day was all about them, so why not go a little crazy? Cas bought some Doctor Who t-shirts while Dean rummaged between some Avengers t-shirts, deciding if he should buy an Iron Man or a Captain America's and after going for Captain, he also bought a key ring of a stormtrooper to his brother.

It was 6:33pm when they sat on some benches at the resting area.

"I should be going. It's getting late, Dean." Cas informed cuddling with his boyfriend, playing with the knuckles of Dean’s fingers, his touch sometimes making Dean twitch at its tingly sensation.

"Have dinner with me." Dean invited. "Text your brother or sister, saying you'll dinner out, that you'll be home late or that you're not even going home today." He wiggled his brows with a stupidly attractive smirk making Castiel shyly smile.

"I'd like to, but one thing is Anna or Gabriel, another thing is the rest of my family. If Lucifer imagines we are together  _togethe_ r I'm screwed." He sighed.

Dean gave Cas an bored look and just took Cas's phone to dial Anna. Castiel tried to stop him but Dean shushed him off by quickly getting up to have some more freedom and also to dodge all Castiel’s attempts of getting his cellular back,

"Hey, Anna, it's Dean… Yeah, I'm with your brother's phone.—Yeah..." He laughed with something she said. "...So, look—Huhum, yeah, but look... Cas is having dinner with me at the mall—I know, he already told me that!— But if that's the case, you can come with." He looked at Cas and winked at him. "No, I don't mind... Yes, I'm sure! If you come you can say that  _you'r_ e dining out with him and not with me.— Good. Bring Gabriel too.—Bye." He hung up, retrieving the cell to its owner. "See, now you can stay." He smirked, kissing him. "Ready for another round?" He reached out a hand so Cas could grab it and Castiel only kept looking at him until he stupidly smiled and grabbed it jumping up.

“You’re paying my dinner, mister.”

 

They sat on a table at the food court with Anna and Gabriel. Anna was excitedly telling about her new job at an accountability office. It wasn't perfect, but she could finally have some monetary independence again, to the point of her starting to think of moving out and find an own place to her. Gabriel was just eye-flirting with some girls at the table beside theirs, even though one seemed more interested in Dean. That is, until she saw him kissing his boyfriend.

"Anna, how did your date go?" Dean asked chewing his burger.

"Great!" She exaggeratedly smiled continuing to eat her pizza, avoiding eye-contact with the rest of the table. By her voice, Castiel already knew what she really meant by that, she was always like that.

Dean noticed, "Really?"

"Nah. I broke up with him." She shrugged, taking a swig off of her coke. "Not my type. I'm trying to get things up with my ex again. Hopefully, he won't flog me with a whip." She laughed it off, however, Dean only tensed up at those words, his skin turning pale and she looked at him still with the last laugh coming out of her mouth when she saw him staring down at his plate. "Oh, did I say something I shouldn't?" She frowned worried.

Cas squeezed Dean's thigh to soothe him down a bit, "No, sis, don't worry, just eat your pizza." He kindly smiled at her before returning to his salad and then silence fell upon them. Castiel gave Dean a quick look and he was still silently looking down at his food so he did what he thought as the best way to loosen up all the sudden tension a bit: he grabbed the ketchup’s bottle, poured some to his index finger and pressed it against Dean’s cheek, “C’mon, cupcake, you eat with your mouth, not with your eyes. Stop staring at the hamburger like a starved puppy.”

Dean looked at him and then a small smile appeared on his lips, which quickly turned into a bigger one, and when Castiel realized he also had mustard on his face. Anna laughed, knowing something happened back there, but in no way she would meddle in.

“I beg to differ; my eyes eat a lot, too. And all it takes is one good look at you.” He finally answered back and Castiel elbowed him shaking his head. None of them had cleaned their faces yet and Anna was now more focused on taking a picture of them. “Might as well take one good bite.” He continued and leaned closer to his boyfriend, yet licking the mustard off his face instead of biting it out.

That’s when Gabriel decided to pay attention to his own table for the first time since they got there and scoffed rolling his eyes, “Please behave, he are in a damn mall, not in an amateur porn video.”

“And you had to ruin the moment… Like always.” Anna huffed at her brother while Dean simply laughed and grabbed a napkin to clean his cheek. 

“They’re the ones licking each other like cats... or dogs...”

“Ew… Thanks, Gabriel.” Anna scolded again and Gabriel shrugged.

Dean waved, taking no importance into to it, “It’s okay… If Cas was a cat, he’d be a hot one… Even though, I’m allergic to cats, so no, thank you…”

After that, they waited for Gabriel finish his second hotdog and his ice-cream, Castiel commenting on Gabriel being worse than a child when it comes to eating junk food, and it was already after nine when they left the mall, walking aimlessly at the park two streets down.

It was a small park. Most trees had no leaves yet and the ones that had were small and weak. The grass was damp from the rainy day and somewhat slippery. There were some dirt tracks with some mud puddles along the way so it was safer to walk by the grass. At the middle was a desert lake, known for having ducks, but it was too early in the year to have them. The street lamps were illuminating most of the tracks and bringing some flowerbed to eye-sight, but it was mostly it. There was an elderly lady sitting alone on a bench, and a couple crossing the middle of the park, each one giving one hand to their little girl. The man at the kiosk was already wrapping up his paintings and putting them inside the bookstall, ready to close it and go home. A group of students from Dean and Cas’s school was at the other end of the park walking towards the mall. They could still see the urban life around them, the traffic lights, the parking lots, the roads, the buildings and still hear the noise. Not that it was very noisy that day, the night always being calmer and quieter than the day around there.

Dean went to the edge of the lake and grabbed some shaped rocks from the grass, examined them, his finger running around its edges, finding the perfect ones, and swung one by one at the surface the water.

Three splashes until the first sunk.

Four.

Three.

Five.

"You're good!" Gabriel joined him grabbing himself some rocks. "I only did three once." He laughed and Dean answered back with a smile sliding his hands into his jeans pockets to see how good Gabriel could do now.

“The trick is in the angle you swing it.” He informed and Gabriel hummed at him throwing the first. Two slashes until sinking. “Well, one of them. You also need to make it spin. It’s quite easy.” Gabriel nodded and Dean crouched, fighting back the grunt forming in his throat because of his still sore back, and looked for some pebbles. “Here, let me show you.”

At a nearby bench, Cas was sitting next to Anna under an old oak tree, the two of them laughing at something.

"So..." Gabriel coughed while cleaning his hands knowing he would touch a complicated subject. "I heard about what happened... That you got kick out of home."

Dean sighed continuing to swing some more boulders, "...Yeah, so?"

"Nothing, just... Thank you." Dean suddenly stopped and puckered his face completely confused. Was there any reason to be thanked for? When he was about to ask, Gabriel grabbed another jack-stone. "You're still with Cas. Even after the things at school and the thing with your old man. You're a good guy." He patted him on his back. Dean held back a groan and smiled instead. Gabriel swung it and it splashed three times. “No many folks would have had the strength to do that. Most would have simply break up and run back home…”

“That’s not really my kind of move.”

“I can see that… I’m just glad my lil’ brother caught a fish like you.” 

"Well... It's Cas. There's nothing I wouldn't bear for him."

 

 

"You're together for how long?"

Cas stopped for a moment, thinking, "Ahm... Without breaking up? Almost two months. Yeah, we do two months next week."

Ana whistled, "Nice! Look at you, dating a hot guy for that long." She pulled him closer to a clumsy hug. He laughed shortly and then wiggled his way out of Anna’s embrace.

"It's not that long." He shook his head with a shy laugh. "I'm surprised we even got this far." He confessed looking up the visible sky between the oak’s branches.

She frowned, "Why do you say that? You two seem... Happy."

"We are." Cas quickly reassured her. "We just had a lot of water running under our bridge."

Anna nodded looking at the two boys standing at the edge of the water throwing rocks at the lake and sighed, "Is everything okay with Dean?" She looked back at her younger sibling, unable to hide the curious yet worried tone in her voice.

Cas glanced at him, examining the way his shoulder moved forth and back when he threw the rock, wondering if it still hurt. Physically speaking, because he was sure it would never stop hurting him in his mind.

"Hmm... Yeah. He—He just had some problems lately, but he's okay now, I guess." He whispered, not really believing in his words. Anna rested a hand on his shoulder and he sighed giving her a tired look, “He’ll be okay… Both of us.”

Anna’s face became a mixture of emotions Castiel couldn’t really decipher. Most of them were possibly sadness, concern, recognition and misgiving. Castiel hadn’t been exactly telling her everything that had been happening in the last months, so she was completely out of the most recent events. Maybe it was for the best, there was no need to worry her about something that had already happened.

They heard steps and looked at the park seeing Dean and Gabriel slowly walking at them. Cas smiled: Dean was with his hands sunk in his jeans pockets and was looking up at the sky while walking towards them. He seemed calmer, peaceful. It was good to see Dean like that.

He got up and Gabriel clapped his hands awkwardly, "We should go home. It's getting late and tomorrow we got school."

They nodded and Cas hugged Dean. The warmth of his body made Cas melt into the embrace. Dean’s hand ran up to his chin, tilting Castiel’s head up, merely tenderly looking him in the eyes.

"See you tomorrow, okay?" Castiel finally asked pecking him on his lips.

Dean smiled and stroke Cas's cheek combing some hair out of his face, "Okay, angel."

Cas crossed his arms around Dean's neck and pulled him to a long kiss. "Okay." He then pulled back from the kiss and leaned his forehead on Dean's before completely free Dean and run back to his siblings.

Dean waved at Gabriel and at Anna his goodbyes and watched them leave before turning around and walking at the opposite direction. He could see better days coming.


	13. Happy Valentine's Day

_~14th February~_

 

[Castiel]

 

Castiel woke up with the buzzing of his phone. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and groped his nightstand looking for his phone.

It was a text message from Dean.

 

**_Dean Winchester 8:32 am._ **

‘Morning, sunshine! Did you sleep well? :)

 

**_Castiel Novak 8:34 am._ **

Good morning, Dean. Not as well as I would have if I was with you ;)

 

**_Dean Winchester 8:35 am._ **

Hahaha.

I'll make it up to you later than. May I have the honor to have breakfast with you?

 

**_Castiel Novak 8:35 am._ **

It would be my pleasure :)

 

**_Dean Winchester 8:35 am._ **

Get ready. I'll be there in 30.

 

Cas smiled and got out of bed, ruffling his hair as he walked, slid the curtains open and let the  sunlight warm his bedroom. The house was oddly silent and he thanked the heavens for it; waking up with constant fuss isn’t exactly the best sensation in the world. Especially, when he has to hear Lucifer trying to sing in the shower. It was unstoppable torture. Or in the times, when Gabriel blasts his music not caring if there are other people in the need of some sleep.

As he opened the curtains, some morning light entered the room. It was cold but, at least, the sky didn’t seem overly covered with clouds; which would allow a more pleasant day, free of rain. He stumbled over some clothes lost on the floor and grabbed them to put them to laundry. He didn’t need Anna or his mother bothering him about his room being a mess. Dean had said half an hour, so he needed to hurry up.

He put the smelly clothes on his desk and hastened to the bathroom to take a quick shower.  Afterwards, he dressed in a blue polka dot shirt with some gray jeans. When he went downstairs to put the dirty laundry in the washing machine, Anna was sitting on the couch reading a celebrity magazine, a mug of hot coffee being held in her free hand. At hearing steps, she moved her eyes from the article she was reading to the source of the sound,

 "Hey, Cas, up so soon?"

He nodded, "Yes, I'm gonna have breakfast with Dean." He adjusted the weight of the laundry on his arms and went to the laundry room. When he returned to the living room, Anna was still there, however, not reading anymore.

“So… How are things?” She asked taking a quick sip of coffee.

He shrugged smoothing his shirt with his hands, “Things are fine.”

“And… Are you fine?”

He huffed, “Is this because of me implying the other day that I wasn’t okay? Because I didn’t mean it that way, I’m okay… I just said that because… Because he and I almost got mad at each other a few weeks ago and things were difficult, but they are good now. So, don’t worry.”

“I’m just concerned. You seemed tired, sad even when we were talking at the park. I just want you to know if anything happens I’m here to help. Like I always am.”

“I know that, I know. But this ain’t Pontiac, and I’m not the same afraid little kid. I appreciate your concern, but I really can’t stand another person looking at me like I can’t live my life on my own. I don’t need a chaperone anymore, that’s all.”

“Fine… You’re right. It’s just that Gabriel told me what happened and I… I don’t know, you used to tell me everything.”

“Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite sister.” He smiled at her and his phone buzzed. He looked to see Dean's text message. "And... I gotta go. He's already waiting. Bye!"

Before he shut the front door he could still hear her last complaint, “I’m your only sister, you little shit!”

 

They were sitting on a booth in a new café downtown. It was decorated for the day with paper hearts hanging from the ceiling and glued ones on the walls. There were red candles on some tables, jars with flowers on the counter and the background music was the greatest slow jams of the 80's. Some people were sitting on the counter, and two girls were chatting on another table not very far away from theirs. By the shop window, they could see the street, some cars passing by and the natural morning fuss with the two florists of that particular street having the biggest attendance they probably had in months. Like Castiel predicted, there was no rain, and, besides the chilly air, it was a lovely day with the sun peering through the tallest buildings and through some lonely white clouds that were dotting the sky.

Dean was tapping the table absently looking at Cas and Castiel was glaring at the decorations, trying to decide if he liked them or not. _'So much red,_ ' He thought annoyed. He liked Valentine's Day, but the red decoration was kind of too much. Was it really necessary to turn such a beautiful day into something so extravagant? He didn’t think so, but every café, bar or saloon was like that this day.

They asked for two black coffees when a waitress appeared and soon they were having small talk.

"Physics?" Dean asked raising a brow. Cas nodded. "If you don't get to go to Africa you'll become a physicist?"

"Yes. I like science."

Dean laughed, "I'm dating a nerd. How cute." He mocked pouting his lips and Castiel was going to punch him playfully, when Dean grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a kiss.

That’s when the waitress came with their orders, smiling at them, and called some other waitress behind the counter after giving them their coffees,

"Ann Marie, I told you they were a couple!"

A blonde one suddenly appeared out of nowhere and leaned on the bar, "Oh, and I was finding the taller one really hot." She laughed resting her hands on her waistband, "No offense, blue eyes, you’re hot too." She started cleaning the counter.

They only smiled and tangled their hands under the table.

"How long have you two been together?" The one that gave them their coffees asked, smiling like a ten-year-old who just got the toy she wanted.

Dean grimaced, possibly while counting the days, and Cas grinned at the girl already knowing the answer, "Two months... Practically."

She squealed, "That's adorable! Well, I’m not going to take more of your time. Enjoy your coffee." She smiled and turned around, "You owe me 10 bucks!" She shouted at the girl who had disappeared right after she cleaned the counter.

"No way, Becky. Forget it!" The blonde shouted from another room.

"But—" The sound faded away when the door to the kitchen closed, the prior calmness returning to the café. The other people were either chuckling or shaking their heads.

Yet, all Cas thought was: _Were they betting on us?_

After some seconds of them standing there like a couple of statues, Dean chuckled returning to his coffee and Cas shook his head and did the same. They were just a couple, not a big deal, no need to be treated like celebrities or differently from the other people just because they were gay.

Taking the rest of his coffee down, Dean asked, "What do you want to do today? Cinema, dinner, go to the roof... My bedroom?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows and Castiel only rolled his eyes lightly blushing.

"As long as I'm with you, we can do whatever you want." He simply said with a sincere smile. Dean grinned and planted a long and sweet kiss on Castiel’s lips.

“Okay, then. Come, we have people awaiting us.”

Castiel gave him a confused look and Dean just did his ‘relax’ face getting up and already pulling a bill out of his wallet.

 

[Dean]

 

It was four days until Cas and Dean's two months dating anniversary. So it was an even more special day for them. Of course, Dean would also want to celebrate it on its correct day, but who wants a better day than Valentine’s to show your other half how much you love them? Unfortunately, Dean wasn’t really the romantic type, well, not exactly, maybe because he never really needed to be one; also because he never dated that long, but, well, he could always try. And to celebrate that day, Dean decided to take his boyfriend on a different romantic date.

They sat on the grass, waiting for the rest of the group to arrive. Dean had invited Jo, Joshua, Gabriel, Kevin, Ash, Garth, Anna, Pamela, Sam and Jess to meet them at the park and, with that, spend the day together. Yes, they were together lots of time at school, but never all of them at once. And besides, they were on their side when no one else was, and most of them were also dating, so it was like a double-date. Except it would be with four couples instead of two.

Maybe it wasn't the kind of date Castiel was expecting, but he was happy to spend a day off school with his closest friends. And either way, Dean's idea was to start with a small picnic at the park with everyone, then go to the cinema and then some alone time with Cas at the roof they both loved.

The three _amigos_ \- Kevin, Ash and Garth - were the first to get there, loaded with food and juices. Then Pamela, who brought her boyfriend Jesse with her, got there, and then Jo and Joshua, Gabriel and Anna and finally Sam after his soccer practice, warning that Jessica was going to be a little late.

Jesse was a complete stranger to the group. Dean knew he was Pamela’s boyfriend because she had told him once, but it was the first time he was meeting him. He was slightly shorter than him, but slightly taller than Castiel, muscular build with fairly pale skin tone. He had brown eyes and brown hair, and not as many freckles as Dean had. He rode a bike, that’s how they got there, and had a couple of visible tattoos, one on his throat and neck - an owl with its wings open -  and another one on the upper side of the wrist -a black cross. His voice was somewhat deep, but still a lot smoother than Dean’s or Cas’s. He was twenty-three, if he could remember right and painted on the streets for a living. The rest was still a mystery to him.

Donnybrook took control over the group with loud laughs. Joshua had brought a Frisbee disk and was playing with Garth, who was stumbling over every once in a while and dumbly throwing it back at the black teen. Anna helped Dean with putting the blankets on the grass while the others were comfortably sitting and opening the food baskets and starting to pull out the food. Castiel sat next to Dean and Anna joined Gabriel on the other side of blanket they were sharing.

It was lovely to watch: Pamela was throwing some chips at Jesse, Jo was feeding Joshua between giggles, Cas was cuddling with Dean sitting between his legs with Dean's arms around him and Ash and Garth were mocking the couples by imitating them.

"Oh, baby, feed me!" Ash said in a high-pitched voice.

Garth giggled grabbing some food, "Here, eat this." and threw him a piece of bread to his face hitting him in the eye. He laughed and Ash plunked to the grass rubbing his eye in desperation,

"Man down! I repeat: man down!"

"…I thought you were the girl!" Garth frowned and they all laughed at their silliness.

Ash showed him a finger and Garth quickly got up, grabbed a bottle of water and went to Ash, pouring it on him. Ash huffed, spitting some water out of his mouth, “Stop, you’re making me wet, man!”

Garth almost choked controlling his sly laugh and fell upon the other teen, “Aww, you’re making me flush.”

“Alright, girls, calm down.” Gabriel joked and another piece of bread flew across the air, this time against his nose. He looked around and saw Dean with a grin on his face.

“Don’t be shy, just join them.”

“Same goes for you, Dean.”  Gabriel joked back.

“No can do. I already have my cutie pie.” The sweetness of his voice made Anna awe and Pamela shook her head, elbowing Jesse commenting on something about him not being so sweet to her.

Castiel cuddled even more, his head resting on Dean’s chest and Dean’s chin resting on the top Castiel’s head. He caressed Dean’s arms that were embracing him and asked for the bowl with the strawberries, which Jo passed to him. He took one, took a bite and raised it so Dean could eat the rest.

A dog barked and Dean tensed up looking around, seeing Jessica at the entrance of the park approaching them with a blonde puppy on her arms. Sam got up on a jump and Anna was already waiting to play with the fluffy small dog.

"Hey, guys!" She smiled and sat down with Sam after he kissed her in the cheek. "Sorry I'm late, but I had to go to the kennel before coming here." She grinned and gave a kiss on Sam's cheek, since she hadn’t had the opportunity to do so before.

"You got a dog!" Sam gasped rubbing the puppy's head euphorically.

She shook her head already smiling, "Actually... It's for you."

She blushed and Sam's smile grew wider, gently asking with his hands to hold it. She passed the dog to him and Sam put him on his lap playing with the puppy’s ears. Everyone was interested in the dog, and Sam was more than happy to have a new companion. Now that he was living alone with his dad he could really use a new friend. Also, knowing how John didn’t pay attention to what happens in their house, he was sure he could have the dog and his father wouldn’t even notice or, if he did, care. With all his amusement over the dog, he didn’t remember that—

"Ahm... Hell no!" Dean loudly grumbled and the group stopped and looked at him. Sam sighed, already aware of the reasons, and pouted at Dean. It didn’t work out, "Forget it. You know the rules, Sam." He shook his head in a mandatory way and Castiel looked up at him with his brows frowned together.

"But—“

Dean cut him off, "No buts. I'm sorry Jess, but he can't have it." The group whined an _OOOOH_ and Dean gave them a cold glare.

“Why do you even care?” Sam huffed and held the dog tighter. “You don’t even live with me anymore!”

And somehow those words hurt him. Yes, he didn’t live with Sam, but not because of his own choice. He was basically kicked out, per se. He didn’t need a constant reminder that he was away from his family, away from his brother, because of his sadistic dad. He didn’t need that! All he wanted was to be home again, see his brother every single day and make sure he was safe and happy.

Abruptly, he released his arms from Castiel and started getting up, “Keep the dog, if that’s so important to you. See if I care.” He grunted and Castiel grabbed his wrist to keep him from leaving.

“He didn’t mean it that way, Dean.” He whispered and widened his eyes a little more as if to say ‘sit and stay’. Dean glanced at Sam and saw that he had realized he had said something Dean didn’t like. Noticing the rest of the group’s eyes on them, he sat down and Cas sweetly smiled, "Dean, it's just a dog.”

Sam shook his head, "Don't. I get it."

"Thank you." Dean blew on a sigh, but Sam only gave him a face Dean could only translate to: _I’m gonna embarrass you._

And so he was, indeed.

"I mean... It's perfectly normal to be afraid of cute little puppies..." He continued and Pamela burst out laughing, Ash and Garth joining in after. Gabriel stared in shock at Dean before laughing like a maniac,

“I’m so gonna use this one against you!”

Dean hid his face in his hands and the puppy barked again making him flinch. Cas laughed kindly and rubbed a hand up and down Dean’s arm,

"You're afraid of dogs? Why?"

Dean rolled his eyes, slightly mad that Sam brought that subject up, "I don't know, maybe because I was attacked by a freaking Pitbull when I was 11!" It was a very good reason to fear dogs, Castiel couldn’t disagree on that.

"But look at him! He's so small and cute." Sam whined making his puppy dog eyes.

"Sam—”

"Please, please, please!" He pouted and Dean ruffled his hair sighing defeated. Freaking Sam always winning an argument with him when using his best trick: sad puppy dog eyes. He should start practicing a way to be invulnerable and unaffected by that, because, seriously, every damn time!

"Fine. But I want that thing on a short leash!"

Sam almost jumped from his seat, "Thank you!" He looked at Jess, "Does he have a name?"

She shook her head, "No. I was hoping we could decide one together."

Sam hummed and began thinking about one. That’s when a new argument took place.

"I vote for Loki!" Gabriel raised his hand and reached the other out to ruffle the pet’s fur.

"What about Bee?" Cas smiled like a dreamy child and Dean looked at him.

"Really, bee?"

"What, it's a cute name!" He protested.

"No. I say Colonel." He countered side-looking at the dog and seeing the big paws, groaned. “God damn it, that thing will be huge.”

"That's worse than Bee, Dean!" Cas said and Dean rolled his eyes kissing his forehead.

“So you’re admitting Bee isn’t that good of a good name either…”  Dean hinted and Castiel nudged him over his side, hugging him afterward.

"Fizzles is a good name." Garth chimed in, still on top of Ash. Some people really liked to take their jokes to a whole new level. 

"NO!" They all said at the same.

"Jeez, okay...."

"Satan!" Pamela laughed and Sam made an appalled grimace.

"I don't worship the Devil, thank you very much." He chuckled.

"My last dog was called Bones. But he passed a couple of years ago… " Jess suggested and Sam smiled at her.

"I like that. Yeah. Bones!" He called the puppy, that looked at him. "Awe, you liked that name, didn't you?" He ruffled his hair.

"Bones?! That's worse than... Everything!" Gabriel crossed his arms.

Sam shrugged, "If I get another dog, I'll call him Loki. Relax." He smiled and Gabriel smiled back.

They chatted. They laughed. They played with Bones and they made two teams with some strangers to play some football and later Frisbee with Bones. They also took pictures for memories.

Dean spent most of his time just looking at Cas and at how the sunlight turned his eyes into a clearer blue, with a slight gray tone. One of those times, during the football game, he was fixed on admiring Castiel sitting on the blanket peacefully reading a book that he didn't see the ball flying at him and got hit on the face falling to the ground on his back, cursing loudly and wailing at the sudden hit of pain he got.

"Wow. You suck!" Jesse laughed giving him a hand to help him up. "Do you even play sports?"

Dean gave him a glare cleaning his clothes from the grass and dirt, "I was the quarterback and captain of my school team." He told rubbing his head.

"I can see why you have spoken in the past tense in your sentence." He laughed, but Dean just gave him another glare nudging him shoulder on shoulder when passing by him to return to the game. "Okay, sorry."

It was getting late, the sun already making its way down the horizon, calling the moon to take its place instead, the wind becoming colder, chilly even, and if they wanted to get to the cinema in time to see the film, they needed to get going. Sam decided to go to Jess's instead and play with Bones. Maybe she should have him for just a couple of days before he took Bones to his place.

After the movie it was almost dinner time so they decided to go to Ellen's to eat a good burger, drink a bunch of milkshakes and spend some more time together.

It was a lovely day. Dean and Cas's friends were the best and they always knew how to lighten up a day with jokes, games and stories. Even Jesse, who was silent most of the time, had his five minutes of fame while telling a story about one of the occasions he met some famous person on the street who asked him to draw him a caricature of him.

They finally got some alone time around 10 pm. Jo had to stay at the saloon and help her mom with closing up, Pamela and her boyfriend had other plans for the night and the others  wanted to leave so the two could be alone on what was left of Valentine’s day.

They were now at the roof watching the town beneath them. A couple walked by the sidewalk laughing, then an old woman with two cats behind her and then some parents with their child going to a restaurant at the end of the street.

Dean leaned on Cas with a hug and kissed him.

"I hope you enjoyed today."

Cas smiled giving him a small peck on his lips, "I loved it, Dean. It was... Fantastic."

They kissed again.

"Well, I have something for you." Dean smiled, making circles with his thumb on Cas's cheek.

Castiel nodded smiling, "So have I! Ok, you first."

Dean left the roof for a couple of seconds, returning with his guitar. Their first kiss was at that roof, with that guitar present, so it was something special to Dean. Especially because he never sang to another person besides Cas.

"So... I knew this song for a while and... it was playing when we were at Ellen's on your birthday. And... you're the only person this song does justice to." He stuttered, positioning the guitar and clearing his voice, "If this gets too lame, feel free to stop me... at any time." He added with a smile. "...

I don't need to be the king of the world

As long as I'm the hero of this little _boy_

 

Heaven isn't too far away

Closer to it everyday

No matter what your friends might say

 

How I love the way you move

And the sparkles in your eyes

There's a color deep inside them

Like the blue suburban skies

When I come home late at night

And you're in bed asleep

I wrap my arms around you

So I can feel you breathe

 

I don't need to be the Superman

As long as you will always be my biggest fan

 

Heaven isn't too far away

Closer to it everyday

No matter what your friends might say

We'll find our way

..."

 

Dean finished the song resting his guitar behind him against the wall and sighed, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. His heart was racing, singing again reminded him of their first kiss on that same roof, and how everything changed after that day. How much crap the world threw at them, but most importantly, the blessing it also gave him: the boy whose eyes had the color of the cleanest ocean who had saved him countless times. He couldn’t even put into words how much that shy nerdy boy had made him happy. He really was his angel. No one else’s.  When he opened his eyes again he was being passionately kissed by Cas, who had his arms crossed behind his neck, and all Dean could think of was of how beautiful Castiel was.

"You should try and become a rock star." Cas whispered between their kiss.

Dean chuckled, "Let's not dream that high." He gave him one more quick kiss and caressed his cheek. "And I don't need to be a rock star when I only want one fan." He flirted, wrapping his arms around Cas's waist.

"I don't know, man... Rock star sounds pretty hot." Cas joked, sighing with a smile.

"Then I'll be your rock star. I'll be your everything."

"You already are." He pointed out slowly kissing him. "Okay, my turn." Dean saw him go to the pocket of his jacket and take out two tickets. "I know your favorite band is Led Zeppelin but I also know that you are a huge fan of AC/DC so..."

Dean grabbed the tickets, eyes widening, "Holy mother of...  Everything!" He shouted making Castiel laugh. "These are awesome. You're awesome!" He wrapped Cas into a tight hug and pulled him up until his feet weren't touching the ground anymore.

"Dean—" He managed to exhale. "Can't—breathe." He stuttered and Dean chuckled freeing him.

"Sorry, baby, just got excited." He smiled, looking again at the tickets.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, "You are my everything."

Dean kissed him and leaned his forehead on Cas's, "You are my everything, baby." Then, Dean gave a step back and held out his hand, inviting Cas to grab it. “Dance with me.”

“What? There’s no music.”

“So? We’ll make our own, then, while we dance.” Dean shrugged and Castiel stopped for a moment pondering before happily accepting Dean’s hand and resting his on Dean’s.

Dean pulled him closer and rested his other hand on the bottom of Castiel’s back, carefully rubbing the tips of his fingers against Castiel’s shirt wanting to be touching him more. Castiel moaned at him and slowly they started dancing in circles on the roof. Creating their own beat, they stumbled a few times, stepping on each other’s toes, and laughed in amusement. He wanted to say they looked stupid, they were both trying to lead, but Dean seemed very determined in them dancing. So they continued their clumsy dancing, nearly tripping every once in a while, until Castiel gave in and just let Dean lead the way. And looking at the gentle smile on Dean’s face, his eyes locked with Castiel’s, and the mild waves of their bodies moving together on that lonely rooftop, it seemed so natural, so meant to be, he couldn’t help but smile as well. The way they were swaying back and forth, dancing in a little safe square, so calmly, so sweetly, made Castiel forget about the world around them. There were no problems, no noise, no city, just he and Dean. As Dean started singing low, he leaned his head down onto Dean's shoulder, Dean’s whispers flowing into Cas’s ear. Then he recognized the song, “The Way You Look Tonight”, and moaned, shutting his eyes, and shyly, not being the best at singing, started humming along with Dean. He felt like he could stay there for the rest of his life. It was so relaxing, dancing with Dean, his heartbeats beating through Dean’s chests and making Castiel want to cuddle closer so he could hear them louder, the soft moves of Dean’s chest as they moved calming Castiel almost to a state of hypnosis. It was perfect. He didn’t want anything else but that dance at that moment in the silence of the night.

Gently, Dean pushed Cas away, their hands still connected, and then curled him back in, his back to Dean for a few seconds and Dean rested his head on Castiel’s shoulder, crossing his arms over Castiel’s chest, and they both continued dancing that way, simply swinging to their sides, Dean never stopping his low singing. Once the singing came to an end, Dean whispered, “The way you look tonight, tomorrow and every other night. Always and forever.”

They sat on the wall and tangled their hands in silence. They never had problems staying quiet because it wasn't awkward or cold between them. It was comfortable. They were happy just by being there and they didn't need to say words all the time to show that.

Dean looked at Castiel and Castiel looked at Dean smiling.

"Do you think I should have gotten you some flowers?" Dean broke the silence when he noticed he missed the biggest cliché of that day.

Cas jokingly gasped, "You didn't get me flowers?! I was hoping to get home and find them waiting for me." Dean frowned and Cas laughed, "I'm kidding Dean. I'm not a big fan of flowers."

Dean sighed, relieved "Oh, thank God."

"But it also shows the kind of boyfriend you are..." He vaguely added, having too much fun with Dean’s reaction, and Dean looked at him in panic. Castiel started laughing seeing Dean's horrified look and cupped his face kissing him. "Don't worry. I didn't get you flowers either. We're even."

"What, you didn't get me some flowers?" Now it was Dean’s turn to joke.

Cas shook his head negatively and Dean pouted his lips resting his hand over his chest, like he had gotten his heart broken, making Cas grin.

"You're adorable." Cas said with a tender smile and Dean simply nodded,

"I really am, aren't I?"

"And cocky too."

Dean grimaced shaking his head, "Not so much. I prefer realistic."

Cas playfully punched him on his shoulder. Dean pretended to get hurt and started rubbing his arm while Castiel remained looking at him, not even the tiniest bit convinced, until Dean suddenly grabbed him, pulled him off the wall and started tickling him on his sides. Cas squirmed between Dean’s attacks with long and loud rushes of air running out of his lungs. Then, slowly and as natural as it could be or seem, the tickles turned into fingers gently ghosting Cas’s sides, and by then Dean’s lips were learning the skin of Castiel’s neck for the millionth time.


	14. Announcement

Hello. As you can see this is not a chapter!   
First of all, I'm so sorry I haven't said anything in a while (gmbygrl mostly to you, since you've been the beta on this story for so long. There's nothing I can to apologize myself!).  
The thing is... And I'm sorry if I break any hearts... I need a break from this story. It was my first fanfic and it has a very special space in my heart. I will never forget it. I mean it. But I was really young when I started writing it and it just doesn't feel the same to me anymore. I don't know what it is, the writing maybe? Reading this all over again made me realize I don't write like that anymore. This is a highschool romance. I was at my second (?) year here there when I started this (Now I'm on my third year of college). Basically, a lot of things here feel a cliche to me. I truly don't know how to put into words how I feel about this story.   
For some of you, who follow my work here on Ao3, know I'm writing another story, at the moment. Lust of Death, to be precise. And, for those who don't know, it's a darkfic with two psychopaths. It isn't pretty, it isn't a romance. It's raw, troubled and bloody. I put a lot of my time into that, so it was as real as possible. As you can see, it has nothing to do with this one. They are complete opposites. And it showed me what I really like to write: something messy, cruel and slow-paced.   
This is not the end. I'm not ending this story, nor am I giving up on it. I just need time. I don't have time to write two stories at the same time. And you don't deserve me writing something when I'm simple not feeling it. You need me 100% focused on this story, loving the story and enjoying what I write to you, the amazing people who supported me all this time. And I feel obliged to give it to you. Just not right now.   
With that said, I did not give up on this story. Not even in the slightest. But I just can't keep writing this, right now. For that, I officially say, this story is in stand-by. In hiatus, as you folks like to say. I don't know for how long. 1 month? Two? Just time will decide.   
In that time, keep reading. There are amazing stories here yet to be found. I'll come back! I promise!

**Author's Note:**

> English is NOT my mother tongue. I'm a 17 year-old portuguese teenager! So you'll see some grammar/spelling mistakes, as you may have seen some during this [A/N]. So, I ask you, don't get too hard on me. If you see some really, really, serious misspelled word(s), just comment on the chapter. I'd appreciate that a lot.


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